Yo, what up city fulla superheroes? Since we're all pretty much the best at everything there is to be the best at, how about someone invent something for me. Something totally life-changing and integral to mankind's future ability to function. Here's the scoop:
My dog is, uh. Special? Kinda starting to realize that he thinks the backyard is a giant pentagram and if he steps outside to poop on the lawn Satan is gonna burst out the ground and drag him down into doggy hell. You know, where every meal is salad and the chew toys are made of steel? Yeah.
So, he thinks carpet is there to absorb his dumps and nobody else will let me pay them to pick up the shit for me. And I'm getting real tired of blaming it on the cats? One of them left a mouse head in my bed, à la Godfather-style, so I think they're on to me.
Anyway, who wants to make me a doggy diaper? Don't all raise your hands at once. I'd settle for a poop robot.