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[personal profile] oohfrittata
[Hey look it's that weird furry bird monster guy again... and he's got his magical flute out!]

It occurs to me that I never told you my life [the word echoes] story. That was my first mistake. For you see, mine is a moral tale, fraught with suspense and suspicions. For you see, in my world, my father was murdered.

[The flute music begins to play in the background again.]

But they say in this realm death is not the final solution. Thus began my quest in the City: to locate my father and prevent his eventual murder at the hands of forces unknown!

Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found.

So instead I spent this past weekend in the quaint villa of Danbury, Connecticut, seeking the answers to history's most puzzling philosophical conundrums. I may not have mentioned this before, but I am a man who enjoys pondering life's most gaping mind holes, plugging them up with whatever nuggets of insight I can muster.

And that brings me to the learning experience of today: Columbus Day, a day on which we reflect upon insight and discovery, a day meant to celebrate the inner seeker in us all. For it is not what we learn from others that is most important, it is what others can learn from ourselves.

Remember that the power of your spirit is within you. Hold it in tight, do not let it seep out, and keep it close to your soul. And above all else, never forget those who went before you.

[Xavier begins to play a different song on his shakashuri. This instantly ends the spirit animal spell. But before he can finish playing his song, he is ported out. He will not respond to this post, but feel free to react as you wish! Thanks for a fun weekend everyone! :)]
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[personal profile] oohfrittata
[The feed begins with a shot of the exterior of the Porter building and the soothing sound of flute music in the background. After several seconds of the music, Xavier appears before the camera, furiously scribbling into a notepad and speaking his thoughts aloud.]

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I'm not planning on camping over night. For I'm a rambler and a gambler, and I know which way this house of cards is going to fall. Snake eyes.

My task is a difficult one, but I won't rest until I avenge my father's murder. You see, twas long ago, when I was but a wee lad that my father, my own flesh and blood, was slain by the cruel hands of fate. But I'm hear to give fate a handjob and a taste of her own medicine.

[He looks up from his scribbling and sniffs the air. He turns to address his left hand, which happens to be a snake.]

Do you smell something? What?! Don't be ridiculous! You know I'm using cream for that!

[A pause as he scratches his head and looks around.]

No wait! That's the stench of loneliness and desperation! Well, it's a good thing I'm here. I happen to have a cure for that right down yonder. Now, I don't mean to tootle my own doodle...

[Xavier reaches under his loincloth…]

But I'm what you might call a master of the meat flutle. So, how 'bout we give this baby a blow.

[… and thankfully he pulls out his shakashuri flute.]

That's the problem with kids these days. No respect for their elders, no respect for the wise men amongst us. If you want to answer the age old question, "What doth life?" [the word "life" seems to echo] you must first learn to listen to the spirits around you. Without unconditional surrender to your spirit guide, you cannot truly become a man!

Now, relax your jowls and your bowels, and give in to the aural intrusion of my musical preclusion.

[And with that, he begins to play the shakashuri, thus casting a spell on anyone who wishes to participate in the Columbus Day Spirit Animal plot! Xavier will be available to talk, answer questions, and generally be bothersome throughout the weekend!]
[identity profile] latebreaking.livejournal.com
Don't worry imPort citizens, my appearance on the comms is not related to anything bad or tragic. In fact, this is pretty good! [DASHINGLY HANDSOME YOUNG ANCHOR BART CLINTON gives the camera a well-practiced smile, and he professionally shuffles papers in front of him before continuing, placing said papers down and folding his hands.] I've been hired by your very own Miss Sally Jupiter to help run this City's second Date Auction. Seeing as Miss Jupiter will be in this auction, I have been convinced to keep track of all the bids.

[he says these following rules in a made-for-tv-tone though it pops up on the greenscreen behind him.]

Here's how the auction will be run:
♥ Bids must be submitted in this format: (Your Name): ($ Amount) for (Person's Name)
♥ All bidders must be 18+
♥ Those that are nominated are also free to bid on anyone in this auction.
♥ All bids will be screened; you will not know who you are bidding against!
♥ You may bid for anyone you want and for as many people as you want, as long as it is within your means.
♥ Bids will be updated here, so check back to see if your offer is still the top bid!
♥ You must bid in increments of at least $10
♥ This auction will end at 11:00pm EST on Friday the 23rd.
PLEASE DIRECT BIDS TO THIS POST!!!!
♥ It appears as though we're having some...technical difficulties. Please refer to THIS POST to keep track of the bidding numbers. We apologize for this inconvenience!

I, Bart Clinton, your local newsman, wish you the best of luck! Remember, this is all for the sake of charity, so in the end everyone's a winner! [a pause, and he looks through the paperwork in front of him.] …is that really a squirrel?-----

Read more... )

OOC : DUE TO LJ BEING A LITTLE SNOT, THE BIDDING NUMBERS WILL BE UPDATED HERE. this is just for show now. please focus all your bidding attention on THIS POST RIGHT HERE. the numbers will be updated there only.

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