May. 22nd, 2013 09:56 pm
backstabbing: hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo ([smirking] heh heh heh)
[personal profile] backstabbing
[ISABELA CLEARS HER THROAT, SHE DECIDES SHE NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION, and the following is recited as though she's reading a poem.]

The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it.
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific,
I want to be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean, means
"small craft advisory".
So if I capsize in your thighs,
high tide, B-5,
you sunk my battle ship."

[she exhales, pauses for dramatic effect, and continues.]

Such a lovely poem I heard during a night of drunken revelry, figured I'd share it with you. Though I honestly have no idea what this "Discovery Channel" is, but I feel as though it is something I would enjoy immensely if this work of lyrical art is to be believed.

Hello City, it's been awhile hasn't it?

[nevermind the fact that she's been around for like, a week and a half.]


Aug. 18th, 2012 08:07 pm
backstabbing: insert sexy sax here ([knife] tits and knives)
[personal profile] backstabbing
Well I suppose Italy is now out of the picture as well, although these constant bans only continue to pique my interest. The opposite effect of what was intended, I assume, but what's a pirate if she doesn't stick her nose where she isn't wanted? What's next? Are they to round us up and send us off to some Circle?


After my life in Kirkwall I thought this place would have at least a lick of sense...despite the rather shit sex advice I've read. [she holds up an issue of Cosmo or whatever the City's equivilent is, and thumbs through it thoughtfully] I've actually sought out a 'tracing wheel' to see what it was, and I must say even I wouldn't allow such a thing near any woman's nether regions. And that is coming from someone who believes that knives have the potential to be fun in the bedroom, mind you.


Ah well, there are still plenty of places for me to visit and I suppose I could cross the border and attempt some havoc before I am found out. Perhaps attempting a flight to India would be an adventure in the foreseeable future, Cross. I found out what the 'Mile High Club' is and I believe I would like to be a part of it.


Jul. 11th, 2012 06:09 pm
backstabbing: it was a really nice ship ([look] what?)
[personal profile] backstabbing
[someone's looking a little worse for wear. girl's got herself a black eye, a puffy lip, and some healing scrapes here and there.

but other than that she seems fine! she has a nice full pitcher of beer and everything.

So I was right. Our dear Major is indeed a fan of bondage. [she goes to take a swig of beer (her wrist looks a bit raw from chaffing handcuffs), but there's a pause.] Or, was a fan, if the rumours I hear are true. Shame, really, I wouldn't have minded offing the bugger myself.

I suppose I could use a good Health Poultice or a healer or something of the like, but beer works fine for now. Nothing like a little pain here and there, after all.

[she goes to shut off her comm, but again, she's reminded of something.]

Oh, and I now have myself a ship. Had her ever since I got back, actually, seeing as she's the reason why I am back. Guess all I need now is a crew. Shouldn't be too hard scraping one together.


Jun. 12th, 2012 08:32 pm
backstabbing: writing friendfiction in her downtime ([writing] "her bosoms heaved as he...")
[personal profile] backstabbing
Nobody's heard from that Joxer bloke recently, have they? I've been meaning to get in touch with him about getting together and stealing myself a ship, but seeing as he's apparently not around and it takes two to commandeer a vessel of such size, that little activity of mine will just have to be put on hold.

In any case, someone had asked the network a few days back about what makes sex so special, and I decided to whip up a little something to perhaps best explain why we humans can't get enough of what's between our legs. And then I thought to myself "Isabela, why not share this with the whole community? I'm sure they'd appreciate it."

Now, mind you, it's not nearly finished. I haven't even gotten to the steamy bits but...it's a start, I suppose.

TEXT FILE ICly ATTACHED TO THIS NETWORK POST. spoilers: it's Alucard/Major fanfiction )

In related news, did you know that there are places on the internet dedicated to this sort of thing? I found them while I was traversing, getting to know the new technology of this realm. I have a long way to go, of course, but I do think these sorts of sites will...keep my interest for a long while.
backstabbing: licks your ear ([SMIRKITY SMIRK] SMIRK SMIRK)
[personal profile] backstabbing
You know, I've been thinking. It's right time I set out and look for a ship. Being landlocked around these parts is very little fun when there's a whole new ocean out there just waiting to have me plow through Her with a nice big ship. I'm starting to smell far too...clean to call myself a Pirate Queen.

And, after my husband took an assassin's blade to the back of my head, I told myself that I shall live and die...[oh no there's a momentous pause oh no something's going to happen]

A Pirate King.

[AND SUDDENLY THIS JOYOUS, PIRATE-ESQUE MUSIC STARTS UP and some of the men start cheering. the video feed suddenly turns on, and a helpful hand grabs the communicator placing it on a shelf. a decent chunk of the bar is now being broadcasted.

Isabela's standing on a table, and a group of burly men are starting to stand around it.

Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.

and a Pirates of Penzance number happens in the middle of a bar )

[she shuts off the camera and there's a second or so before she speaks.]

I honestly need to get myself a ship and away from this City. It's fun the first few times but now this is getting a bit...ridiculous.
comesback: (oh look at *you*)
[personal profile] comesback
[The scene opens on one familiar Captain in a jail cell. There is someone else in the cell adjacent, but they are in shadow. The police officers were, at least, smart enough to separate them. Otherwise? They’d probably be out of here by now, honestly. Anyway, Jack gives a sheepish grin to his comm.]

Been a while since I’ve been here, but it hasn’t changed much. Any chance I could get you down here, Doctor? My ...friend and I could use some bail. Or a ride. Maybe both.

[At “friend”, the shadow in the cell over shifts a little and there’s a bit better lighting as she looks over.

Add one familiar pirate to this video call.]

Where I’m from no one would bat an eye if you had the decency to do it in a back alley. At least it’s well out of harm’s way. And here I was beginning to think this place was less prudish...shame, really.

But oh, does this mean I get to finally meet your friend?

You do make a good point. [And he slants a playful grin back at Isabela.] ...Wait, have you been to the Museum of Sex yet? We should go.

--And I don’t know. Hopefully, yes, if he answers this.


May. 2nd, 2012 08:22 pm
backstabbing: ([talk] tick tock on the clock)
[personal profile] backstabbing
[the camera's set on a table, a booth in a bar somewhere. it's angled just enough so you can make out that she's playing a card game resembling solitaire.]

So, humour me for a moment.

[as she talks she absentmindedly continues her game. as though this were just a passing thought.]

Who is Captain Jack Sparrow, and why should I know of him? I've heard his name so much in the past few weeks I've been here that I swear it's like I actually know the guy without having ever met him at all.

He has a ship too, the Black Pearl.

I mean, if he and his ship are so well known that a bloke told me I made a jolly sailor out of him after he "boarded my Black Pearl", I feel as though this is a pirate I should be aware of. Is he a legend of some sort? I suppose I should ask about Long John Silver as well. Not that I care much for storybook pirates with their peglegs and their parrots, but still.

[a final flip of a card and she finishes the game. smirking, she gathers her cards and shuffles her deck, laying out a new game.]

Can't fault a woman for wanting to know. Especially if men and women continue to try these really shitty lines at me in taverns and the like in these pirates' names.

[her voice goes slightly higher as though to mock someone.]

"Ooooh Captain Isabela, my dark Caribbean mistress, I'll swab your poop deck with my Long John Silver." [a chuckle] Honestly.
backstabbing: ([wipe] just some...liquid on my hands)
[personal profile] backstabbing
[cue Isabela in some nondescript location. well i mean the wall behind her is red velvet and the lighting is somewhat dim so there's a general air of ~sleaze~ but other than that.

yeah just. hello.

You know, back home when my crew mates found themselves a little restless, I'd give them some alone time. Just them, alone in a room, perhaps a barrel in the corner with a sanded down hole to keep them company. Anything to...help them relieve some tension. Not sure how many of you have gone sailing for months at a time, but I can say it's rather difficult to--

[she cuts herself off, waving that thought away.]

In any case [and she holds up A NSFW OBJECT for all the network to see.] I would have loved to have some of these back home to hand out to my crew.

I was starting to get tired of their complaints of having splinters in their shortswords. This would have saved me from having to hear a load of bellyaching. [SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO STICK HER FINGER IN IT, CHUCKLING.

Men certainly do get creative when their hands aren't enough, don't they?


Apr. 5th, 2012 06:05 pm
backstabbing: ([flirt] look at me tilting my head)
[personal profile] backstabbing
[a hand is moved away from the lens of the camera and the image is filled with light! and it's got a good angle of the underside of a very large chest. the woman holding the device points down at it, looking away at what can assumed to be someone else.]

So you just...talk to this thing, is that it? [...] Oh what's that? Angle it a bit-- ah yes, right then.

[it's angled at a better position so the viewer can now see her face, and it's obvious she has no idea what she's doing but she sure as hell is trying. there's the sound of someone talking over the traffic, and the strange woman lets out a melodic, chiding laugh.]

Thanks dearie, that'll be all. And I really do mean it this time. Honestly, off with you!

[she waves the person off screen away and there's another laugh as she shakes her head, looking at the camera in a veiled unsure manner, though there's still a rather cocksure air about her.]

For a second there I thought that little display had been blasted me back to the Fade. But folks here are far to clothed to be any demons I know of.

I arrived a few hours ago, but I won't say the culture shock is completely gone. In fact, it's still there, but I've been enough places to learn to get over it quickly no matter how bizarre this new land is. And I know not to question my means of travel, though I will say I prefer going at it by ship as opposed to...whatever that was.

Honestly though, heroes? I become bosom buddies with the Champion and suddenly people start thinking her good nature had rubbed off on me or something. It hasn't. Not much, anyway.

I've been told I'm not alone in this. So hello? [a light tap at the camera] Anyone in there?


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