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[personal profile] webline
[ oh it's this chick again says the attached name.

anyways, the video starts off and there's a figure. the area she's standing in is dark, like an alleyway. there's a face and that face is -- gasp!! grey!! it's a troll with massive black hair and spider teeth and she looks very very confused. and upset. and squinty. in fact, that troll seems familiar because!!

it's jess. as a troll. troll jess. surprise worst climax.

she's been avoiding the network since she got back to the city, not even returning home, but she figures. well. let's show this embarrassment to everyone. jess hesitates before opening her mouth to talk, large spider-like fangs portruding. and then she closes her mouth again. opens. and finally:
]

So. Uh. This happened.

[ the end. ]
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[personal profile] webline
[ this is a video. it's a video of jessica drew laying down in what's obviously a bathtub. she's laying down with her head resting against the back of the bathtub. there's no sound to the video as she does a shaky breath, gaze moving to the side off camera before returning to the video.

also her hair is in a giant fancy beehive with glittery spiders clipped into it.

text follows this video as her gaze constantly moves off camera, the video shaking a little bit in her grip.
]

so I've been hearing that the only escape is death.

t/f?
webline: (pic#6242836)
[personal profile] webline
[ the video clicks on and there's a familiar face!! contrary to previous posts from like, eight months ago, jess' face is actually seen here, in all of its glory. for the first time on the network. her hair is as massive as ever (in fact, it seems to have gotten bigger), and her face probably seems really weird-looking. (oh peter face.)

regardless, she rubs her face, looking very annoyed. she's decked out in dumb hipster clothes (probably raided good will when she first got here) and her hand slides from her face up to her hair line, pushing her hair back. and she starts, queens accent still prominent:
]

An ode to being dropped back into this hellhole.

No. No. No. Nope. Nada. Nein. Absolutely not. Nyet. Non.

[ she pauses. ]

Oh, and why.

[ and then it disconnects. ]
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[personal profile] webline
[ sent from the Jess Drew comm. enjoy this video of her red converse.

anyways, Jess' voice is heard off-camera and it sounds a little strained, her definitely trying to sound like she's not upset.
]

So, Mary Jane Watson got sent home. I mean, I think. She's kind of inexplicably gone and all of her stuff is still here. [ her tone shakes but she ignores it ]

So that's -- what -- three people from the same universe within a few weeks. Johnny Storm, Gwen Stacy, and Mary Jane Watson. Is that weird? It seems a little weird. [ her tone rushes at this and she abruptly pauses ]

Or maybe it's just some giant -- like, government conspiracy. Actually, I think that's worse.

Never -- nevermind. [ and then a beat ] Has this ever happened before? So many people from the same place going back at once. Because it kind of sucks. Seriously. Thanks, God.

[ and then she hangs up. ]
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[personal profile] webline
[ the video feed (a la Jessica Drew comm) clatters to a start, filming a flash of her face with wet hair plastered against it and doubled over body before she shoves the camera aside. it moves to focus on her dripping wet legs and red Converse and stays there, as water pools around her. she's coughing and muttering under her breath before finally: ]

Just in case you were wondering, the Hudson River tastes as nasty as it looks. Ugh, I'm going to be washing this smell out of my hair for weeks.

[ she kicks the comm further away but it catches a glimpse of her beginning to wring out her clothes before pointing up at the cityline above her head ]

So apparently, I'm not lucky enough to get sent home though. Just lose weeks out of my life that I could have been using to do something important. [ she sounds extremely frustrated and the dripping continues before: ]

So. Who wants to fill me in?
conflagrations: (flames; fuck your shit up.)
[personal profile] conflagrations
[ well good evening everyone, it’s your friendly neighborhood spider-woman, accompanied by the human torch, both in costume, johnny wearing his fantastic four suit, and jess in her mask. game faces are on. this is a serious post, you guys. ]

Hey, so I guess you all noticed that Reed Richards just showed up. But he’s not the Reed you guys know, you should know that.

[ there’s a pause and johnny darts a glance at jess before he continues. ]

He’s not a good guy. He went really, really crazy and faked his own death and then blew up a lot buildings. And--

[ there’s little tendrils of flame licking up johnny’s body because he’s getting angry. this time when he looks over at jess, it’s for help. because shouting over the network isn’t going to convince anyone. be the level-headed one, jess.

she speaks up after a moment, her voice slow and careful, trying to be as calm as possible]


Reed Richards is a terrorist and a murderer. He’s a criminal. He’s currently wanted by SHIELD and the government, for destroying various buildings of importance, such as the Baxter building, Triskelion, Roxxon buildings, and various homes of innocent families, including his own. He has killed thousands of people because of this. He is a psychopath with no regard for human life, going so far to even destroy Asgard and creating an entire civilization dedicated to conquering human life and mind-controlling children for his own agenda.

He will manipulate you and lie to you to get what he wants. He’s pretending like he’s innocent -- like we’re the crazy ones, but I was there when he destroyed Roxxon. We were there when he attempted to ruin the Earth in the Negative Zone.

Reed Richards is a danger to everyone and should not be trusted.


[ there’s a pause. johnny’s still half on fire, expression considering before he shrugs. ]

Yeah, what she said.

[ and then he turns off the camera. ]

ooc | the red text is jessica drew! and reed will most likely hack this at some point because supergenius, but they tried!
webline: (67)
[personal profile] webline
[ sent via Spider-Woman communicator, there's the lady herself, pressed against the wall of a skyscraper. the video itself shifts and starts filming the streets below. she hesitates, before finally speaking ]

So I'm -- I'm Spider-Woman. I know a lot of you know that. But maybe a lot of you don't know is that I'm an U -- a member of my world's equivalent of the Avengers. You know, with Iron Man and Thor and Hawkeye and the works. I play with the big kids.

But as you can all probably tell, I'm not that big and I'm still... well, a kid. [ as much as she hates to admit it ]

Um, I know there are a lot of teen heroes running around. I'm sure a lot of you got training or something, right? Like... back in your worlds. In my world, if you tried to make it on your own as a kid, tried to... do something good, you either do it or die. There's no one to help you or be your mentor or whatever. [ excluding the X-Men of course... ] It's a tough place and I know that just being out on the front lines -- it isn't encouraged. Going out on your own to do something good... without anyone's help or at a young age, it's dangerous. And people worry about kids, I get that.

And I guess it's the same here.

[ there's silence as the video shifts in her hands, continuing to film the streets many stories below her. ]

I guess what I'm trying to say is that... you know, if you're a kid and you want to be a hero, go for it. With great power and all. But maybe there should be something for us. Like a -- a group. [ a beat ]

Like a hero group or something?

[ ... and awkwardly, she disconnects ]
webline: (Default)
[personal profile] webline
[ the camera shows a sleeping peter parker sprawled on the couch. he’s wearing only a black t-shirt, boxers, and a shabby-looking blanket dangling off his left foot. his face is pale where it hasn’t been creased from being smashed into the cushions and he’s dead to the world -- or at least to the person wielding the camera, who’s creeping closer and closer. ]

He’s totally out of it, isn’t he? [ oh, look! it’s gwen, whispering as she carefully ducks into the frame and kneeling down in front of peter. she stares at him for a moment before waving her hand in front of his face. ]

[ a voice speaks up from behind the camera, stupid queens accent clear. oh look, it’s clearly our friendly neighborhood jessica who does not... sound happy doing this. ] Yeah, I guess he’s really stressed out or something. We should leave him alone.

[ gwen turns to the camera and gives an epic eyeroll as she takes a marker out from her pocket and uncaps it. ] Him being stressed is why we’re doing this. Either he’s gonna laugh, which is something he could use about now, or he’s gonna yell and that’d be good venting. It’s a win-win for him. [ and with that bit of fail logic, she turns back to peter and ever so slowly draws a twisty handlebar moustache on his upper lip. in bright blue. ]

[ the camera zooms in on the handlebar moustache and Jessica’s heard muttering: ] This is all going to be on you, by the way. All of it.

[ gwen laughs quietly. ] I’m okay with that. [ and, oh look, now she’s drawing stuff on his eyebrows. because this is clearly the best idea ever, amirite? ]

[ except now peter’s scrunching up his face, snuffling a little as he cracks an eye open and lets out a sound best transliterated as ] Hnnnn … guh? [ blink, blink. ] Gwendy, what -- hey!

[ and then the ever so useful: ] Yikes. [ coming from Jess as the camera zooms out and then immediately cuts ]
candidly: art » david marquez (Default)
[personal profile] candidly
[ oh, look, it’s the carpeting of gwen’s apartment and her black knee-high socks. she’s laughing quietly as she tip-toes down the hallway to a door that’s slightly ajar. then, the camera angle pans up to...

a wild johnny storm! he’s trying to button up a pair of pants that are just a size too small. johnny’s sucking in his stomach and jumping around, trying to get the button closed. whatever he’s saying isn’t really obvious, but it’s probably just cursing.

and then there’s the sound of someone coming up from behind whomever’s holding the camera followed by a very familiar Queens accent: ]


-- Hey, what’s going o --

[ and then the awkward crickets start chirping as the camera swings around to look at jess. who does this. ]

Jess, why are your jeans so small! [ CAMERA SWINGS BACK TO JOHNNY WHO GIVES UP TRYING TO PUT ON THE PANTS AND JUST GESTURES WILDLY. nice boxers, storm. ]

Dude, why the hell are you trying to wear Jess’ pants?

[ she is trying so hard not to laugh. johnny whips around to look at her and then immediately looks horrified. ]

Why are you filming this!?

Who’s filming? [ CLICK! ]


[ ooc| red is jess, orange is johnny, black is gwen!! ]
webline: (Default)
[personal profile] webline
[ sent from the convenient jessica drew communicator! the communicator is clearly in someone's hands, but is only pointed to focus on a pair of bright red conversed feet and skinny jeaned legs. the feet shift, one rubbing the other before Jess clears her throat and speaks up. ]

So I've... uh... I've been in the City for a while and I guess I just haven't really said anything because I don't... have much to say? Like, what really needs to be added onto people freaking out or murders or alien invasions or whatever.

I guess after a while, all that horrible stuff -- you know, all the crazy, unnatural things... kind of become second nature? Someone says, "Oh! Godzilla's attacking Grand Central!" and you kind of go, "Oh. So just another Wednesday, right?"

[ a beat as she kicks her feet. ]

Guess this is all pretty normal.

[ there's a long, awkward pause and then she adds hurriedly: ]

So, yeah. Hi. I'm here. And not dead.
webline: (Default)
[personal profile] webline
[ sent via Spider-Woman's communicator ]

it's a bit of a mess out here but everyone's fine. Spider-Man's still cleaning up.

and for those freaking out, we're getting Spider-Girl and all of the others back.

stay safe.
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ the video clicks onto an aerial shot of the aftermaths of a crime scene. there are cop cars with sirens blaring pulled up outside of a jewelry store. five guys are covered in a huge netting of web, pinned to the ground as cops surround them. the video moves to an ever-so-familiar white-spotted red mask before it pulls out.

and for those who don't like ridiculously crazy heights or... the thought of being upside down, that is very unfortunate, as Spider-Woman is hanging upside down about four stories up from the previously mentioned crime scene. she's wearing a knit cap over her huge mass of hair that seems to have gotten bigger, a scarf around her neck, and thick, fingerless mittens.
]

Talk about heading home for the holidays, right? Hope I'm not too late for Christmas presents.

[ she pauses for a moment ]

So did anything interesting happen or what?

encrypted to spider-man, gwen stacy, and johnny storm )

encrypted to tony stark and clint barton )

[ aaand all of this is sent from the Spider-Woman communicator for extra paranoia! ]
identical: (Default)
[personal profile] identical
[ the video feed opens on a pair of brightly colored, mismatched socks, one blue and polka-dotted, the other pink and stripped. the view spins suddenly and rests on gwen who looks tired. ]

Wait, shit, that’s not what I—

[ the feed cuts and then comes back a moment later as voice, though it’s muffled. gwen’s got her hand over the mic. ]

Do you want me to just say it or is there something you wanted to do or whatever?

[ there’s Jess’ voice and she doesn’t sound as chipper as she normally does. instead, kind of hoarse and obviously bordering upset. her accent’s thick. ]

N-no, you can say it.

Okay... [ there’s some slight rustling and then gwen clears her throat awkwardly. ] So, uh. I’ve got some news. It’s kinda bad, I guess? I don’t know. But... Jo—

-- No, no, no, I want to say it. I’ll say it. [ a quivery beat ] Um. We can’t find Johnny. Er... Johnny Storm. Tall, blonde hair... If anyone’s --

If you’ve seen him, let us know. Otherwise... I guess that means he’s gone home, right? [ a slight awkward pause, then gwen sighs. ] Just... if you see him, tell him to stop by my — Gwen’s — place to pick up his stupid comm.

Or -- or just... tell him to get a hold of me. [ she kind of adds it on at the last second and then falls silent with a sniffle. then the feed clicks off for good. ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ sent straight to your communicators from the Jessica Drew comm, it’s clicked onto video and there’s a Johnny Storm lying upside on the couch, with a de-racooned eyes Gwen sitting by him, painting her nails. Jess is holding the communicator and therefore, off camera, and it’s obvious the three of them are in Gwen’s apartment.

aaaanyways, Jess is in the middle of talking (surprise, surprise) when it clicks on.
]

-- So, anyways, they have this team called the Avengers here. And, uh -- Nertz -- [ when she realizes that it’s recording her talking like a buttface. ]

…. Heh. Avengers, anyone?

[ gwen, totally not realizing that jess is recording this: ] Avengers is a way better name than the Ultimates. How full of yourself do you have to be to name your team the Ultimates? It kind of makes sense, though. They’re all a bunch of douchebags.

[ johnny snickers and twists around to look at jess. ]

Are they huge douchebags in every universe though? Like, just say they’re upstanding, helpful citizens or something in another universe.

[ Jess clears her throat and the camera moves upwards, filming............... the ceiling. someone take it out of her hands. ]

I don’t think they’re that bad here? I mean, I didn’t think the Ultimates were that bad.... Captain America seemed like a jerk though...

The least douche-y of them is Iron Man, and that’s saying something. I mean, the guy had a leaked sex tape. And he totally landed on our lawn once, looking for -- [ there’s a pause as she looks up and sees jess recording ] … For directions.

Man that was lame. Doesn’t that suit of his have a GPS or something?

[ the camera starts zooming in on the ceiling because, sure, why not. ]

I know, right? It’s like he’s just floating above the lawn, giving Aunt May a heart attack like... Thank you, good citizens! And I’m just standing there thinking, you’re in a giant, million-dollar suit and you can’t fucking MapQuest where you need to go? You have to come to Queens? He’s the dumbest smart guy ever.

[ aaaand then the camera’s swiveling back to Gwen in the middle of her rant, angry hand gestures caught on camera and all. after a long pause.... Jess clears her throat again and gently... whispers into the mic of the communicator ]

Iron Man, if you heard this, please don’t bust into our apartment and kill us with your repulsor beams. Thanks...

[ and she... slowly cuts the feed ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ sent from the jess comm, there's the sound of the twilight zone theme playing in the background. she sounds kind of awkward when she speaks up. ]

Oh, jeez. Who actually uses pick-up lines? Seriously, these are... um.

[ she clears her throat and tries this deeper voice (her accent gets a bit thicker) ]

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

Some of these are just... really dumb, honestly. I don't see how they even work. Do they work?

"If you were words on a page, you would be what they call fine print."

[ she keeps reading ]

"That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be --" Oh my god! [ she sounds so embarrassed now ]

"I hope you don’t mind heat, cause I’ve gotta strong urge to --" [ and then she just bursts out laughing. so hard. like, she's laughing when the feed finally cuts off. ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ an audio recording sent from the Jessica Drew comm. she sounds bored, and a little wistful if anything. ]

Okay, so I know a lot of you guys are from some world where you don't have technology, or at least, not the kind that we have around here.

Which is why I'm here to teach you the ways of the most important sites you'll need in your life. They aaaaareee -- [ she clears her throat ]

Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr.

Facebook is like the Network except it's required to learn how to make friends, Twitter's demanded for day-to-day commentary and celebrity following, and Tumblr is where all the trendy people go.

And to use these websites to their maximum capability, you need to understand Blingee. I have posted an example for you.

[ AND THEN SHE ADDS IN A PICTURE.... CRY... ]

why would you click under this cut )

Obviously, I haven't used Blingee to its full potential, but you guys are creative, right? Questions?
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ this is a video.

there's a pair of high-tops and the camera's pointed at the floor and then a pop-up dinosaur book. the book's flipped open a few pages, displaying various dinosaurs popping up and then there's the voice of Jessica/Jolia/Mattie or whatever you know her by (her Queens accent goes in and out and she's having a hard time trying to decide how she wants to talk) speaking up.
]

Um... I've never done one of these before. But I -- I think Luffy's gone. Ported out.

So, yeah. Uh. You can go back to... whatever...

[ she just cuts it off after a sniffle. ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ the camera clicks onto the communicator and it's blurry, but obviously focused on some random street. once it settles and sharpens up, it's obviously the street the MAC building is on. but right now, the camera points at a street pole and there's a poster with this image attached to it with the words KE$HA CONCERT AT [location]. [DATE] printed across it.

Jessica finally speaks up and she sounds exhausted. her voice is a mix of her Queens accent and no accent at all and she definitely doesn't sound like her Spider-Woman voice.
]

Okay, I get home and I see these signs plastered all over the place.

[ she pauses and the camera zooms in on the poster ]

Who is Ke-dollar sign-ha and why does she look like she's dumped in glitter?

[ and this is sent from her Jessica communicator for extra protection. so no Spider-Womaning here. ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ the feed turns onto to the camera facing a shot over the city. for people who get nervous around heights, the view's kind of nauseatingly high. not that she seems aware of it.

she leans forward though, coming into view from the top of the feed and waves into the camera
]

Hey, there are some newbies that just came in, huh? Hi. I'm Spider-Woman. I'd shake your hand but, you know.

[ she disappears out of the video. ]

Anyways, I've been meaning to ask for a while. Back in my world, that chap Spider-Man and I kind of had a monopoly on all things quip and pop culture references. However, it seems we're forced to share that here.

I mean, seriously. Superheroing aside and all, who actually still regularly makes pop culture references? Because I imagine it'd get kind of awkward quoting Indiana Jones and then surprise! The big guy himself makes an appearance via Porter.

Not that I'm complaining if it's a popular hobby. Quippers unite, right?
conflagrations: (Default)
[personal profile] conflagrations
[ so the video clicks on to just a lot of blonde hair. a lot of blonde hair. that's jessica wakefield. in the bottom of the lens, luffy's straw hat can be seen, and jessica drew's forehead. she picks up the camera, and the network is treated to a glimpse of luffy, wearing this, and jess sitting in the bathtub. ]

Look, I wanna see it before you turn on the camera.

Too late!

[ jessica drew's voice pipes up quietly, "luffy stop touching the shampoo," which is followed by a crash and a loud squawk. johnny is running his fingers critically through his hair, oblivious to whatever trainwreck is happening in his bathtub, and jessica wakefield is smirking proudly. ]

It's almost like my natural color. This is pretty boss, Jessica.

He looks great, right Network? Tell him how great he looks.

[ right before the feed cuts off, jessica drew can be heard saying, "don't eat the conditioner, luffy!" ]

ooc | bolded font is [livejournal.com profile] svhcheerleader and italicized font is [livejournal.com profile] arakhnes
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ for once, this is audio. her tone is hushed and rather frazzled. she's not been having a good day. ]

Okay, I'll be the first person to say that I did not take this seriously. Insert every Revenge of the Nerds reference you can think of.

But, uh, guys. I don't think they're --

[ she goes quiet and the mic picks up some words amongst violence in the background like, "fake", "wannabe", and "bad plot device". ]

... I'm pretty sure they're not kidding around. And I'm not okay with our existing being the reason they want to kill -- Crap --

There you are! You should've died with the rest of the fakes! Shitty c --

[ she cuts the feed.

all responses will be ICly delayed by ten minutes.
]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ it clicks onto video and for the first time ever, Jessica Drew is out of costume! except... the camera is positioned so you can only see up to her neck and is instead, focused on Chao behind her whom you can see completely. ]

Chao, what's going on? Am I supposed to feel sick? How did we...

[ Chao looks around and then checks something in her hand ]

It looks like we're only a day in the future...

[ COMMUNICATOR DROPS WITH A CLATTER and so there is a nice view of the ceiling ]

What!? Why are we in the future -- How did we get into the future!?

[ before Jess is scrambling to pick up the communicator and it only shows a shot of some Converse ]

Oh my god, you guys. I'm lost in time.

[ sent from a different communicator than her Spider-Woman one. backdated early in the afternoon right after kid transformations went down. ALSO TIME TRAVEL IS TRIPPY. JUST SAYING. ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ video feed cuts onto a sight of a window that overlooks the city. pigeons are screeching rather angrily outside the window and it's pretty much the normal sight at this point. ]

I have been smacked too many times on my way out by angry, angry pigeons. Which could be a really awesome board game. Just saying.

Live action news aside, there's an essay I need to write where the prompt is, "Talk about the greatest hero that influenced you".

Yeah, the irony. I know it.

I know this is a little prying, but what are you guys' answer to this? For the lack of a better way to put it, who's your hero?

[ a pigeon flies away for a moment. but he's back a few minutes later ]
[identity profile] haki.livejournal.com
[ The comm clicks onto passerbys inside the 'illusion zone'. They ignore Luffy, of course. He's given them small shoves and so forth already. Now Luffy's trying to shove the comm itself in their faces, but they just... turn and walk away ]

Maaaaahhh. What's wrong with these guys? They don't talk or anything. They're so mmmmmmbbb--BORING!! [ whine ]

[ Soon Luffy steps down on a illusion!woman's dress end... Which she tugs from under his foot and continues on her way. Murrrr, so he starts picking his nose with his pinky ... :Ia ] BLEAH!!

[ Soon though, there's a scream from up above.. Getting louder and towards him? Then the camera turns around and up to a glimpse of a brunette girl dressed in red falling to the ground, obviously trying to keep from smashing into the ground. She twists and shoots a web line from her finger, swinging forward, only to crash directly into Luffy ]

Nuts!! [ The crash sends Luffy's pinky finger so up his nose that he starts getting a nosebleed ] AAAHHHHHHUUOOOOHHH!! MY dh'OOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!

Oh my god! I'm so sorry --

[ The communicator gets a slight glimpse of the girl's face, but it's blurry and hard to make out, before she's shoving the comm to the side so it's looking up at Luffy and his nosebleeding self and she's grabbing his eared-Sherlock hat and shoving it down over her face ] LOOK! My booger's all bloody now--

I need to borrow this -- oh my god, please don't die! HEY!! THAT'S MY HAT! GET YOUR OWN! [ Finally, Luffy drops his comm and gonna make a grab for his hat YEEEEEEEEEE ]
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ the video comes on rather suddenly suddenly and is now focused on someone who is obviously a thug, webbed to the top corner of two alley walls. he looks pretty beat up, but despite that, starts struggling against the web when he realizes he's on camera.

the camera zooms in and he's saying something but it's muffled because of the web around his mouth.
]

Say hi to your loving audience! Wave, sunshine!

[ because she needs to take her anger out on something.

the video holds on him though before turning away
]

Yep. Definitely more therapeutic than homework. So how do you guys deal with the inevitable stress that fills your hero life? Mass-buying stress balls?

[ the guy's muffled shouting grows louder and more frantic ]

Language! Really.
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ the camera's angled so that you get a view of a pair of red-spandexed calves and feet above a view of a busy street in the city ]

A job.

Or school.

[ long thinking pause. ]

You know, I think I could do that whole, teenager working a job thing that doesn't consist of spandex and badly-named villains. And with my multitude of skills and my charming personality, who could resist hiring me?

But I like school.

[ another pause ]

Alas, when confronted with a situation as dire as this, what would you do, people over the communicator? Because this is serious business.
[identity profile] arakhnes.livejournal.com
[ the video clicks on and there's a masked face peering in with large white spots over the eyes. it's impossible to tell what her expression is but she adjusts the communicator after a moment and leans back, crossing her arms. ]

Testing. One, two, three. Is this thing on? Maybe? Yes? Good.

As flattered as I am being considered hero enough to wind up here, a "please" and a "thank you" would be very much appreciated. Especially from creepy lady-voice.

[ she pauses. considering going on a giant chatterbox thing... and then changes her mind. ]

And for the audience out there watching, I'm Spider-woman. If that's not, you know, obvious enough.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
[identity profile] webpits.livejournal.com
[Anyone who has lived there will probably recognise a generic MAC room as the background in Jessica's video. She's sitting on the floor with her back against the end of her bed, holding her comm up with one hand and pressing a bag of ice to her face with the other. Her lip is split and there's some bruising around her neck, too.]

Hello, City.

[She removes the ice, revealing a large purple-green bruise around her right eye.]

I've been keeping myself busy, as always, but I'm feeling...I don't know. Lonely. So since I don't really do the whole deep, philosophical questions that people seem to pose at each other here, I thought I'd try something simple.

How are you?


[ETA: Because I'm dumb and it's only just occurred to me how poorly I thought this through, can I assume Jess called in the police after she beat the tar out of a few guys doing a drugs deal? It's not a plot I'm planning to expand or anything, and Jess would have known and complied with all relevant police procedure.]
[identity profile] webpits.livejournal.com
[The video starts with a shaky extreme close-up of Jessica, in which she's swearing softly under her breath. It then cuts to her sitting cross-legged in the middle of a bed in a small, anonymous room, facing the camera but never looking directyl at it. Her face is blank, but her eyes are red-rimmed.]

Uh, hi. I guess I'm back to being a hero again? It was a little touch-and-go for a while.

[She pauses to fiddle with a watch on her wrist.]

This thing is supposed to detect aliens, hah, which would have been super useful a few months ago. But it's going kind of nuts right now. I don't know if my, um, mandate, I guess you could call it, covers alternate dimensions or parallel universes or fucking delusional episodes, whatever it is that's going on right now. Maybe I'm still trapped in a Skrull stasis chamber and my life one huge ironic reality TV show for scaly green aliens.

So, yeah. Jessica Drew, private eye. Or Spider-Woman. Whatever suits the moment, I suppose. Are any other Avengers out there? Jeez, right now even the Great Lakes squad would be a welcome sight. Just a familiar face. Even a friendly face. Well, one that I can verify isn't a shapeshifter.

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January 2014

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