notpredictable: (O__O // aw hell)
[personal profile] notpredictable
[Because of the glitching, this audio post comes over all communication devices at over 9000 decibels, courtesy of Megamind.]


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[personal profile] notpredictable
[bum bum bum - video clicks on. There is SILENCE AND BLACKNESS for a few moments, and then an EXPLOSION OF BLUE that might have once been quite a few dehydrated something or others - trash, probably - tediously stacked on top of one another before it was, you know. Blown to bits for show. Guy has to make an entrance. From the rabble, MAN IN BLACK, STAGE LEFT.

He's looking quite pissy, and is dripping water.

Citizens of The City.

It is I, Megamind - here to make a public service announcement.

[He straightens and punches the air with a finger.]

You have just kidnapped the wrong villain! And when I say kidnapped, I use that term particularly loosely, considering I feel a bit like I just squeezed through a wormhole - take that Stephen Hawking.

[His mouth flattens into a line.]

I am no hero - and I demand to be returned at once! Immediately! I have things to do! Real heroes to destroy! Buildings to flatten! City Hall to plot nefarious things of horror and fear!

[Cape swish.]

...That will be all.
[identity profile]
Thesity, I am scandalized! [ More like scan-duel-ized ]

Someone told me that there are supposed supervillains here, but they're not following the rules! Or even worse, that there are no rules! How do you live? That's not how it works, and I would know! I've been in this business since I was ten! [ He's getting worked up ]

And that's another thing! Where are the lights? Where's the mystique? Where's the [ dare he say it? ] presentation!?

This place has the lamest superheroes I've ever seen! I'm a better one with no superpowers! And, I'm better looking!

[ CAPE FLOURISH! Camera shuts off. ]
[identity profile]
[ THIS VIDEO HAS A ROOM. It is packed with all kinds of things! Like leather upholstery, and spikey furniture. It looks very... METAL. There is also a lot of machinery and stuff that probably could kill you on accident. But there is very obviously no person in the picture. None! ]


This is just a curiosity, because I have a [ he trails off, and there is a long pause here ] friend! Yes, a friend who is in trouble, and despite my vast experience with heroics, I am afraid I am unable to help him!

[ This all comes from a very disembodied voice. That might be in the middle of the room. ]

How do you turn off powers?
[identity profile]
[ Megamind is on the camera! He's looking...just a little bit bashful. ONLY SLIGHTLY ]

Hello, citizens of Thesity! I have slowly come to the realization that the money on these [ Yes, there is a dramatic jutting of his arm out, and those dogtags from the porter are swinging in his fist. He might have etched giant laserbolts on the sides of his name, if you have really really good vision ] simply aren't enough to fund a campaign against the forces of evil!

Therefore I! Megamind, the greatest genius of all time, am bringing you an offer, Thesity!

I will build you things! Great things! All you need to do is ask, [ A pauuuse ] and pay me, and I shall create for you great works of genius! I can create anything you could possibly imagine! Great wonders are in store for you, future consumer [long u] if you will simply step into my mystical shop. Of genius! [ By the end, he's a little worked up, with a finger in the air, and his eyes are wide. He's even breathing a little heavy! ]

Now! To work!

[ And... then a quiet hiss of background noise is quickly being turned up to the dulcet tunes of Rush's Tom Sawyer being turned up right on that wicked electronic intro, pretty much to deafening levels, and then the camera shuts off.

MAC residents who may be living within his proximity will probably be able to hear him still. Pretty much all night long, actually.
[identity profile]
[ The little camera can baaarely pick up the eye that's pretty much taking up all of the screen, except for random instances when the lights in the background flash bright enough to make enough light. In the background, this is playing. ]

Oh isn't this exciting? There's a whole group of these blue men! A whole group!

[ Oh god he's so excited. That comm camera keeps going back and forth between the stage with the BMG and Megamind. ]

Do you think they would let me join them? I could be their first superhero member! Think about how much better they would do! [ Pause. ] They even have good taste in music! Even if it sounds a little soothing. We could fix that! Make it even better! They could use more lasers! And smoke machines!

And I would build them! It would be the most terrifying and exciting team-up this world has ever seen!

[Blame Greer you guys. Blame Greer. ]
[identity profile]
[ Someone might have programmed a brainbot to be his new communicator...and this might be on a lot of TVs. BUT HEROES ONLY HACK HEROICLY. Every now and then, there's a faint 'bowg bowg'. All you see at first is what looks like a stage. Did he really build a stage? Why yes, yes he did. They're obviously on the City equivalent of Times Square. The people milling around are looking a little curious, but nothing much is happening, until there's pretty much a huge explosion of smoke, and lasers. This song starts playing on a very large speaker system that looks custom made off to the side. There are several more zipping around back and forth, and the super observant would probably notice there are more working the smoke an lasers.

FINALLY THE HERO ARRIVES. He's jetting in on a jetpack, in full leather and spikes clothing, and finally, he cut's the music off mid-song.

Good evening, Thesity!

As I have already told the network, your greatest hero has arrived! [ No, really. Complete enthusiasm on his face here. ]

Now you, the helpless citizens of Thesity must let me help you! I've devised a particularly ingenious way of allowing me to help you!

[ There are several boxes off the stage, and the bots are picking them up now and tossing what look like little black cylinders with big blue buttons on top. ]

These are Megamind communicators! [ some of the people are walking away. This might look like a promotion. ]

Since Thesity obviously refuses to grant my request for a signal light, you, the helpless people of Thesity should have a way to get into contact with their new hero! These are free of charge, a gift to you people!

Thank me!

[ Except he's not waiting for thanks, he's flying off! The Commbot starts to follow him, before he makes a cutoff motion with his hand, and the feed cuts. ]
[identity profile]
Hello Thesity! [ There’s a big, blue looming face in the camera. One with wide eyes, like he might have spent the past 5 minutes maybe screaming. ]

I was already informed by your machine that I’m supposed to be a hero. Well! I’m sure it was waiting just for me, and now here I am! You can close down now! Your savior is here!

[ He pulls the camera away, and brushes his hand across his chest, like he’s brushing back dust. There’s a pretty good view of his clothing, which looks is pretty much black leather, spiked, and includes popped collars. ]

Well then! I’m off to save you! All you have to do is call for Megamind, and I'll be there faster than any rookie hero could get there. [ Pause, and then he squints. ] Well that actually might not work. I would stop up the phone lines with how many people will need me! Is there a signal light emporium around here? Do I need to place an order? Can I get it expedited? I would suggest you don't make Thesity wait for my help, or lives could be forfeit! [ Did that sound foreboding? Oops, too many years being the dramatic villain. It may have. ]


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