01 - text

Oct. 14th, 2012 09:39 am
justica: (★ hmmm)
[personal profile] justica
W3LL NOW
WOULD SOM3ON3 M1ND T3LL1NG M3 WH4T 1S GO1NG ON H3R3
R34LLY, 1 4M PL34S3D YOU CHOS3 4N 4SP1R1NG L3G1SL4C3R4TOR L1K3 MYS3LF TO 41D YOU ON TH1S GR34T M1SS1ON OF 4PP4R3NT PUBL1C S4F3TY
BUT 1 H4V3 SOM3 BUS1N3SS TO 4TT3ND TO 4T TH3 MOM3NT
1RONS 1N TH3 F1R3, 1F YOU W1LL
4ND TH3 1RONS DONT ST4Y HOT FOR T1NY K3YBO4RDS L1K3 TH1S
4S MUCH 4S 1D L1K3 TO ST4Y H3R3 4ND PL4Y R3DGL4R3 FOR YOU 4LL TH1S 1S MUCH MOR3 1MPORT4NT
1F SOM3ON3 KNOWS D1R3CT1ONS OUT OF H3R3 YOU SHOULD PROB4BLY T3LL M3 R1GHT NOW
1F P4R4DOX SP4C3 H4PP3NS TO B3 S4V3D TH3N 1LL GL4DLY W4LTZ B4CK 1N H3R3 1N TH3 FUTUR3

4LT3RN4T1V3LY 1F MY ST3Y H3R3 H4PP3NS TO TURN 1NTO 4N 1N3V1T4B1L1TY
WH1CH 1 SUSP3CT 1T M1GHT 1F MY 3XP3R13NC3S W1TH 4LT3RN4T3 D1M3NS1ONS PROV3S TRU3 
DO3S 4NYON3 KNOW WH3R3 TO G3T SP1D3R P3ST1C1D3S?
1 H4V3 4 BUG TO SQU4SH

13. video

Jun. 19th, 2012 11:07 pm
somethinglawful: terezi sniffs a scalemate (your deceit reeks!)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
[the scene is a bedroom which has to belong to either a creative teen or a twilight mom, because its contents consist almost solely of fabrics and sewing materials, and the walls are adorned with a tasteful amount of posters depicting scenes from trashy romance novels.

it is, in fact, kanaya's bedroom. and the bearer of the camera slowly moves toward the bed, where three trollish figures are slumped over in a deep, drunken slumber. karkat and aradia are sleeping on top of each other and slowly covering each other in an incredibly unattractive layer of drool. on the floor next to the bed, kanaya herself is sleeping at an awkward angle, drool dripping down her chin. probably at least one of them is snoring. terezi allows everyone watching a chance to really take the scene in by focusing on this picture of terrible teenage decisions for about thirty seconds before the video ends. below the video, there is a text message.]


cut for trolltext )

[and that is all there is to that. it should be noted that terezi waited a few days to post this, so that the parties involved would be sober enough to appreciate it. the video was, in fact, recorded on prom night.]

12. audio.

May. 15th, 2012 09:21 pm
somethinglawful: terezi staring at her computer with a bored expression on her face (oh calendar man is talking again)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
[there's a lot of resignation and just the tiniest bit of hope in terezi's voice here.]

Has anybody seen Finn the Human lately? His dumb little computer thing is in his respiteblock, so...

[so he's probably gone. but there's always a chance he's just being especially stupid and has disappeared somewhere without his communicator and without contacting terezi for an entire day...even though he usually calls her multiple times a day for no reason at all....yeah.]

I have drawn a picture of the missing party in case you don't know what he looks like!

[terezi turns the video on. she's not visible, but a few of her fingers are as she holds up a drawing she no doubt slaved over for at least five minutes. the video lingers on this masterpiece for about fifteen seconds, then the feed ends.]
somethinglawful: (ring ring ring ring ring tereziphone)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
H3Y

[this extremely short and entirely stupid message is brought to you buy Troll Drama, everybody's favorite brand of teen angst. coming soon to a supermarket near you.]
glowsferatu: smile, ashiah (Default)
[personal profile] glowsferatu
[ the camera clicks on to show kanaya, her glow slight and gentle, wearing something rather modest, considering the subject she'll be discussing today. she smiles as she begins her address. ]

You'll pardon the intrusion, I hope, but I thought I might share one of my own passions today. ...Ultimately to your enjoyment, perhaps, should your interests fall along similar lines. I'm speaking, of course, on the subject of fashion. And to that end, we've prepared a small presentation on the topic!

[ she turns the camera around seven girls fancily adorned, aradia, nepeta, rose, feferi, jade, terezi, and nill. she passes the camera down the line, then it moves to the side of a small pathway she'd laid out earlier as a makeshift runway and motions for them to begin their march down it. ]

ooc cut for length because good lord is this long )

So, I hope the show didn't too poorly occupy your time, and I'd like to take this opportunity to note that prom is only two months from now, I believe, and so I will be taking commissions for any outfits one may wish to have prepared for that occasion! I can typically be reached here over the Network, and my fee shouldn't be difficult to negotiate. So, I welcome any clients who may be interested.

[ and she walks back in front of the camera to shut it off ]

10. audio

Apr. 9th, 2012 10:36 pm
somethinglawful: terezi laments the state of her life dramatically (genuine distress!!)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
Oh my gosh, I need advice right now!!!

[gee, terezi sure does seem to be worked up about something. she sounds terribly distressed!]

I'm in big trouble!! I had a sleepover with my matesprit and gave him a kiss and now I'm going to get teen human pregnant and the clap!!! What am I gonna do??

[a pause. playing a hideously stupid prank on matt is not enough, she must drag finn into this too!!]

Finn, you'd better get a job so we can support our mutant hybrid wiggler!! Or baby!! Oh man, I don't even know what it's gonna be!

[and with that, she ends the post! this is her way of getting back at matt for telling her a lot of ridiculous things concerning boys and girls and what they ought not be doing with each other. trollgirls will always have their revenge.]

[video]

Mar. 21st, 2012 09:20 pm
rhombus: (Ah ah ah ah)
[personal profile] rhombus
[The camera turns on and it's in night vision oo how fancy. You know Finn somehow accidentally found that setting and never managed to turn it off and turned it back on for this very thing he's filming. And what he appears to be filming is a very, very abandoned building full of holes in every surface, broken timber, dangerously collapsed structures integral to the building's ability to remain standing--you know, the typical sort of place a ghost hunter show will go to hunt ghosts!

Which is what Finn and Terezi are doing! You can't see Finn because he's holding the camera, duh, but he's filming his gal scrambling up a particularly filthy and large pile of rubble. The camera pans in to her crazy close as he scrambles up it, too, and crashes into her.]


"Haha! Okay, found a creepy building, now what, Terezi? We don't have those weird boop-doop-boopy doohickies they use to talk to ghosts."

[Terezi stumbles forward, right into the camera's proper line of sight, and then spins around and laughs.]

"The answer is obvious, Finn!! We have to get onto the level of these so-called ghosts and draw them out by other means! Physical means."

[Boy, Zizi is so pretty all green like this! The camera tends to linger a little too much on her face, even as Finn leans down and picks up a board the proper size for whacking things. He waves it in front of the camera.]

"Like a ghost stick?"

"Uh, sure!" [But that small hesitation is glossed over as she hits her stride. Making things up on the fly is a hallmark of a good RPer!!] "Everybody knows ghost sticks are the most effective way to draw out a ghost! It is pretty much proven by movies and shit."

"The ghosts on my world are super friendly, I don't get why the ones here are all shy!" [And to help them overcome that shyness, you obviously jam a board into a large hole in the wall and thump it around, screaming:] "Come out! Come out, ghosts! I have cookies!!"

[Yes that is definitely how you lure out ghosts!! Terezi kind of smacks aimlessly at some part of the building with her cane, because that is also a tried and true ghost hunting technique!]

"Good one, Finn!! Make them think we're not going to capture them and do horrible things to them in the name of science!!"

"But I don't want to--WAIT, SHH, BRO, YOU HEAR THAT?" [He stops screaming and beating, there's a distinct scratching sound coming from his hole. He leans in very close, waving Terezi over.] "Zizi, c'mere, you hear this?"

[Terezi does indeed scramble over, and she can hear the scratching!! She slowly extends one hand toward the hole, drawing things out as dramatically as possible for Finn's sake.]

"I am not your bro, Finn! Now observe! Holes in stupid dank abandoned hives are a well-known hiding place for ghosts! I think we definitely have one here, all the signs are present."

[He pats at her mouth to shush her and leans in even closer with her, the camera showing both of them. The scritching noises coming closer, closer, Finn's eyes get bigger, bigger with awe, then--

Oh. It's just a raccoon barreling out of the hole to attack their faces.

Terezi squawks and flails in response to this unexpected attack, probably smacking Finn in the face in the process, but then she takes up her cane to try and counterattack!!

Finn was indeed smacked in the face, and down the rubble pile he falls, the camera flying out of his hand and shutting off, thus ending the first episode of the Finn and Terezi Epic Ghost Hunting Extravaganza Show. What do you think, audience?]
somethinglawful: terezi stares at the camera with disdain. (this is what disdain smells like.)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
Okay, hypothetical question time. Let's say somebody has a, uh, for the sake of avoiding multicultural understanding let's say girlfriend. And their girlfriend is a...vampire, I guess, what a stupid word.

[she huffs a sigh. this is sounding a lot more stupid than she intended it to!]

And, uh, even though this somebody is totally in a position to provide some blood for her vampire girlfriend or whatever, it isn't enough and said girlfriend is still stalking other people like they're little woolbeasts ripe for the slaughter, except not really because she just wants to drink a little blood I guess--

[suddenly she regrets hitting record so soon!]

You know what, forget everything I just said. I need a lot of blood, preferably in a form that's easy to store for extended periods of time. Where can I get that?

...That's not a hypothetical question, by the way, it is totally serious business!

7. text

Feb. 6th, 2012 06:05 pm
somethinglawful: terezi staring at the sky with a blank expression on her face (welp)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
troll text actually )

[and a few minutes later, private audio to kanaya maryam and delivered in a shaky tone of voice:]

Kanaya, come get me. Please.

6. audio

Jan. 16th, 2012 12:03 am
somethinglawful: terezi staring at the sky with a blank expression on her face (Default)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
[terezi doesn't waste much time getting out of the Porter building once she realizes where she's been rudely transported to. to her it's been no more than an hour since she was last in the City, but still her memories of the City are taking their time reestablishing themselves.

her redglare outfit is thin, and it's below freezing outside. but that doesn't stop her from accessing the Network on her glasses and sending out the clearest of messages:]


Hehehehehehe!

[and just when one might think that's the end of the transmission, she adds in an amazed tone:]

Wow! It's really cold!!
somethinglawful: terezi staring at the sky with a blank expression on her face (Default)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
cut for teal and numbers in inappropriate places )

[and so ends the public part of this post; clearly Terezi is feeling better if she's getting her party on... the rest is voice, filtered to Matt Murdock.]

Matt!! I can't come over for schoolfeeding today, something came up!

But you should come to my apartmentblock because someone really awesome turned up and I want you to meet them!

[she sounds...incredibly enthusiastic about this. probably because she's having vivid hallucinations of her lusus, thanks to Mr. Creepy Meat Flute.]
caprihorn: (Default)
[personal profile] caprihorn
[Nothing but a black empty room is on screen for about five seconds.

Then the view switches to a toothy yet thin smile. The scars, the small amount of purple blood trickling down from the mouth, and the white makeup against gray skin are more than enough to tell that it's Gamzee.

Gamzee who is now opening his mouth and saying in what would be a joyful tone if not for the biting hiss in it:
]

You motherfuckin' know what's at being wicked funny? Motherfuckers who think they can get at touching what's at being close to your ownself without getting at paying. Them same motherfuckers are easy to motherfuckin' all a joke played on them, though.

[The view zooms out as Gamzee moves, there's flecks of teal on his hand.]

Mostly because they think they're on knowing all of what's up at with the world and it turns out they're not in knowing what wicked shit they're needing.

She should motherfuckin' have gotten in at her thinkpan how not to fall at tricks, but she did.

This is the bloody bit. )

Next motherfucker who gets at attacking Eridan gets motherfuckin' worse than this wicked shit.

[OOC: Gamzee's going to be gone before anyone gets there and Terezi will live thanks to Tavros and company.]

2. video

Aug. 14th, 2011 07:10 pm
somethinglawful: terezi staring at the sky with a blank expression on her face (Default)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
[The communicator is pointed at the ground when the video starts; Terezi is walking down a mostly uninhabited street. It's not the clearest of videos, considering that the picture bobs up and down as she walks and is also probably just a tad blurred because of the layers of spit covering the camera. But although the quality is low, it is still a serviceable video. Terezi has decorated the sidewalk with various chalk drawings that look something like these, and appears to be using the video as a means of showcasing them. Occasionally the end of her red-and-white striped cane (sweeping back and forth to keep things from Happening) or her well-worn red tennis shoes can be seen at the bottom of the screen as well.]

Okay, so, I read the "welcome to the City" manual. I appreciate the choice of font color, hehe! But I have a question. Consider this an open memo to express your opinion on it!

It mentions something about gaining or losing superpowers when you get transportalized into this crazy human festival land. So what I'm wondering is this! Does existing count as a superpower? Is that why I'm stuck in this stupid fleshy pink body?

I mean, I don't think I gained any superpowers at all! Talk about lame! I could have at least gotten transportalized with the ability to fly or shoot laser beams out of my eyes or something.

I guess I'm also curious about how many other poor schlubs got stuck in human bodies. It can't just be trolls, right? Let's hold an investigation! Hehehehehehe!
somethinglawful: terezi staring at the sky with a blank expression on her face (Default)
[personal profile] somethinglawful
[this post seems to be oscillating between video and audio--the camera picks up intermittent blurs of red and blue as Terezi turns the communicator over and randomly presses buttons, trying to figure out what it's for. through all of the cutting in and out, Terezi can be heard speaking:]

Hehehe, hero! You don't know the half of it, lady! Now what's this thing...it's too small to do anything with...Ugh!

[the video cuts on and stays on just in time to broadcast a close-up of Terezi's tongue as she licks the communicator to get a better look.]

Leth havth a look...hehehe! [and you can just make out the top half of her face as she laughs.]

Wow! What a tiny keyboard!

[the video cuts off at that, and the rest of the post is in text.]

cut for trolltext )

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capeandcowl: (Default)
WELCOME TO DREAMWIDTH, HERO...

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