magicalworld: (Escape)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[A spinning, shaking field of stars fills the screen. It must be a particularly clear night, because there are more bursts of light in the sky than could possibly be counted, each of them sharp and vivid. There’s the sound of a cape flapping in a roaring wind. Calvin’s flying pretty high up, but he manages to make his voice clear over the sound of his passage.]

Do you ever look at the stars? I mean, really look at them? I’ve always thought that they’re really beautiful, but seeing the night sky like this can make you think, too.

On the one hand, it’s really exciting! There could be anything out there! Whole civilizations of aliens, or black holes that nobody has ever seen before, or cosmic events that we can’t even imag- oops!

[The view suddenly lurches and plummets. The wind becomes a thin whistle. The viewer gets a great look at the lights of the City blazing like the lights in the sky, getting bigger as the communicator falls downward. Then it stops, turns upward, and there’s a blurred glimpse of Calvin’s face before the screen fills with stars again.]

Sorry, dropped my communicator. Um, where was I? Oh, right. On the other hand, there’s nothing like watching the boundless cosmos to make you feel insignificant. I mean here I am, a genius kid with superpowers from another dimension, but compared to everything up there I might as well be a dust speck!

When you think about it, it’s hard to justify all the things we get so wrapped up in. What’s the point of being upset over a bad grade or missing someone or never getting to go home again? The stars don’t care about any of that. And no matter what you do with your life, they won’t care what you accomplish or how much money you make, either!

In the grand scheme of things, the worst thing in the world isn’t that bad, but the greatest experience of your life wasn’t that good! Compared to infinity, maybe even superheroes are just specks punching other specks to protect littler specks. So why does any of it really matter?

[Calvin is silent for a moment, thinking. The wind keeps roaring, the boy keeps flying. The stars burn in the sky.]

I think I’m going to be six forever.
smarterthandad: (We really have to get the Bridge shut.)
[personal profile] smarterthandad
[Hi, network. The last time you saw these two was right before they shrunk a number of you.

Only being as much of a sociopath as the average three year old, and having a much better understanding of consequences, Val realizes they have to apologize. And that it has to sound sincere. Fortunately, she's a great liar.

Calvin's on his own.]

Hi, everyone. According to my calculations, the Pym particle effects should have entirely worn off by now. As far as I know, no one was seriously injuried.

[Injuries to pride, dignity, and relationship status don't count.]

Yeah, and I'm sure everybody's really glad about that. I for one have spent enough time running away from ants to last my whole life!

[Calvin looks just thrilled about the whole adventure. He's standing next to Val, wearing his ordinary red shirt now instead of that ridiculous lab coat.]

Anyway, as the head visionary of this project and the original genius behind the experiment, I feel I ought to apologize to everyone...

cut for the Val 'n' Calvin Show running long )
magicalworld: (Babysitter!)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin is standing in what appears to be a StarkTech lab, in front of a distressingly large and fancy-looking ray gun mounted on a tripod. He is wearing a labcoat that is much too large for him, pooling around his ankles and with sleeves hanging off his little arms.]

Attention denizens of the Network! You are about to witness the next great scientific breakthrough! Any journalists and academics among you ought to start taking notes, because you are going to see something for the history books.

[From offscreen there's the high-pitched whine of some piece of equipment spinning up, then Valeria's voice.]

I don't mind you recording, but you don't need to narrate.

[Calvin shoots a look off to the side.]

Yeah, well you don't need to interrupt!

Anyway, thanks to my genius and some minor technical assistance provided by some other kid, I have perfected a stunning leap forward in shrink ray technology! You're lucky to see its first-ever demonstration.

cut for length and kids bickering )

Are you done? Finally! You're distracting everyone from all the science!

[Now Calvin can be the center of attention, as it should be. He hops back on the shrink ray, and peers at the complicated control scheme that could only have been developed by a member of the Richards family.]

Hey, where'd you put the 'on' button for this thing, anyway?

[Val finally turns around, and shrieks in a mixture of outrage and alarm.]

I told you not t--GET DOW--


[Calvin shrieks, the shrink ray glows bright white, and suddenly there’s a crackling roar as a discharge of energy blanks out the screen. All that can be seen is the spreading cloud of gaseous Pym Particles filling the lab, as Calvin yells “It wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t my-“]

[ooc: No responses from either of the kids, as their world just got a whole lot smaller!]
magicalworld: (yay)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin and April are standing in front of a stage somewhere with a curtain drawn in front of it]

Guess what, City? Today is your lucky day! You all get to be part of artistic history. You're getting the privilege- no, the honour of viewing the first-ever publicly-sponsored piece of art produced by Calvin, Boy Genius! (That's me.) As part of my continuing quest to push boundaries, challenge convention, and shock the complacent, I bring you-

[The curtain rises dramatically, just as the theme music kicks up. What is revealed could perhaps best be described as a massive, warped diorama. The backdrop is what appears to be a rough mock-up of the City’s skyline, made from various cardboard boxes with hideous faces drawn on them in marker. On either side of it, two raccoons are dancing for some reason. Some kind of person-shaped effigy is smouldering in the center of the arrangement, smoke drifting up toward the ceiling. The effigy has been surrounded by pieces of garbage, like offerings around an altar: pencil shavings, a destroyed test tube, a smashed plate encrusted with burned food, a lump of clay that may have once been a failed sculpture, and much more. It looks almost like the abomination that might result from a night spent dumpster-diving at the Xavier Institute following very poor babysitting choices.]

[April looks dead at the camera, clapping her hands in front of her.]

We call it the Soul of the City. It’s, like, just the proto run. We need more interactive parts. There’s gonna be a teenager in a top hat trapped in a giant bubble. And a TV only showing home movies of kids crying from the 60s. And more.

[Calvin throws his hands up in the air look at all this enthusiasm everyone why aren’t you getting as enthusiastic as this come on.]

But we can’t do it on our own! Well actually, we can do all the art and creation and accept all the credit on our own, but we need something from you too! Specifically, money and material. We’re putting out a call for all the junk, trash, garbage and refuse that you think could be used to artistically capture the Soul of the City! And we want you to give us funding in return for taking it.

[Seems fair right.]

Also, does anyone know any teenagers who look good in top hats?
magicalworld: (read)
[personal profile] magicalworld
Hey everyone, it’s Calvin. I need to talk to all the artists out there and get some information. I’m teaching myself more about drawing so I can be a professional when I grow up. Right now my main instruments are pencil crayon and marker, but I’m looking to diversify.

I want to know all about what kinds of art you make, how you make it, and what kind of message you’re trying to send with it. Do you aim to shock and appall? Is your work shamelessly commercialized and generic? Are you avant-garde? Oh, and have you done anything with sculpture? I've had a lot of experience working with snow, but the impermanence of my medium keeps thwarting me. It’s hard to get famous when all your pieces melt in spring.

If anyone’s figured out how to make big bucks doing this, I especially want to hear about how you managed that.
magicalworld: ([adult] Happy)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Despite the drastic change he's undergone, it's no great mystery who's on the screen. Even at thirty-two, Calvin still wears only one shirt and his hair is still defies all discipline. He has set up the communicator so he could stand in front of it and show off his entire grown-up self: he has gone from a stubby little kid to a very lanky grown-up. Yet he's still very clearly himself, full of energy and grinning ear-to-ear.]

Look at this, everyone! Seems like I got to skip puberty, and Grades two through twelve. Look, I've got facial hair too! [He pulls at a bit of fascinating fuzz on his chin.] And look at how far down my feet are! Everything looks so different from all the way up here.

I don't know what's happening, and I don't care. I need to make the most of this in case it's only temporary. Someone tell me what the best sports cars available are, quick!
magicalworld: (fair)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[There's the sound of someone kicking something metal.]

Stupid! [Clang!] No-good! [Clang!] Lousy! [Clang!] Junk! [Clang!] Machine! [Clang!]

[The Porter gives a warning crackle of electricity.]

Fine! [No more kicking.] Can you believe it? This scrap-heap Ports me in for the third time, and she still forgets Hobbes! How advanced can one omnipotent machine be and still miss something that important so many times? By golly, if this thing had a suggestion box I'd have it filled up by the end of the day!

Oh, yeah. This is Calvin, by the way. How long was I gone for? Did you all go into mourning without me? Do I get a welcome-back party?
magicalworld: (sin)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin is standing in his (messy) room, facing the camera set up on his desk. For once in his life, he is not wearing black pants with his red t-shirt. No, today he is wearing something special: bright orange parachute pants with a plaid pattern in vivid purple. They are hideous. Deeply hideous. Blame Yuma.]

Hey, this post is for everyone who knows about pranks! Everybody else should just ignore it. No, really, go ahead and turn off your communicators.

[Beat while Calvin waits for his audience to oblige.]

I want to know what kinds of jokes you think you could come up with if- this is just an if!- you had the means to get really super creative. Like, if you had an enormous supply of magical gag products, just for instance. What kind of fun do you think you could pull off with that? The sky’s the limit here!

At least, it would be the limit if anyone had that kind of arsenal. Which I sure don’t.

[Sloppily private to Angelica Jones and Pietro]

I want to be homeschooled.

[Sloppily private to Jenny Quantum]

So... do you still want to fight crime?
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin is in his room, grinning evilly while waving a few dollar bills at the camera]

Guess who just joined the working world? That’s right, me! I’m now making money as part of the glamorous, fast-paced private sector! I’m a product tester for Weasley Wizards Wheezes, an important part of the mighty corporate machine.

I can’t wait for my career to really get started. From what television has taught me, within a few weeks I’ll probably be getting raises and promotions and backstabbing my colleagues to get ahead. It’s wicked! [This is Calvin’s favourite word now. Blame the Weasley twins]

Now that I’ve got a high-paying job with an up-and-coming company, soon I’ll be able to afford my own home and car! Since I’m new to the real estate market, I thought I should ask for a little input. Should I start out with a high-priced condo downtown, or head straight to the suburbs to buy the largest cookie-cutter house I can find?


[Calvin puts his money in his pocket, reaches down off camera, and comes up with two plates of pie. Delicious-looking pie.]

Surprise! I got everyone pie!

Well technically a really nice waitress at the Pie Hole is paying for all the pie. But it was completely my idea! I figured I should do something nice for everybody, since I’ll be moving out on my own soon enough.

Now, if anyone doesn’t want any for whatever reason, tell me now and I’ll, uh, take care of it.
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
Hey everyone, I have a purely hypothetical question for all of you. What would you do if you accidentally, through absolutely no fault of your own, you did something really bad? Wait, no, not did something bad, just caused something bad. Say you, oh, I don’ t know, accidentally doomed a City or something. What would you do? Try to fix it? Find a way to make up for the demise of a major metropolis? Flee the country? Commit hari-kari to escape becoming a hunted pariah and despised by everybody? I was just, you know, curious about ethical dilemmas and thought I’d ask. Part of a growing boy's curiosity about life's complexities, haha, no other reason!

By the way, and this is completely unrelated and also hypothetical, which is further away from the City? Mexico or the Yukon?

Man, I’ve got to get that stupid pirate to tell another story...


May. 31st, 2011 08:53 am
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Hey City, it’s your friendly morning newscaster, smiling his unnaturally bright, flawless smile behind his desk. The window behind him shows a great wide view of the City on this beautiful day! There’s a glass of water in front of him.]

Good morning City, it’s Channel 4 Morning News with Ian! We’ve had another eventful week, but right now it looks like the City is still safe.

[Whoom. The water in the glass ripples slightly. No one seems to notice it. Instead, they cut to footage of snow goons shuffling around a skating rink. Ian speaks over it.]

These creatures and others like them have been wandering the City for two days now, and although they seem hostile, amazingly no one has gotten hurt. The same can be said for those affected by the strange cardboard inventions reported over the weekend. Officials are calling this one of the most harmless warpings of reality the City has ever seen, with the body count still at zero.

[Back to the newsroom. WHOOM. Ian frowns at the sound, but doesn’t see the water shaking. He keeps talking.]

In what may be related news, reports are coming in this morning of dinosaurs, yes, you heard that right, dinosaurs spotted in the City. We are currently working to verify whether this is some kind of illusion or an Import power malfunctioning, or whether we are actually seeing prehistoric creatures walking the earth here in-

[WHOOM. The water almost spills over the rim of the glass, and the picture vibrates noticeably. Now Ian is staring wide-eyed at the glass. Behind him, through the window, strangely-proportioned F-14 jets can be seen zooming through the sky]

That’s an... that's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here.

[WHOOM! The water leaps right out of the glass and spills over the news desk, the cameraman can be heard shouting as the picture goes askew, and then suddenly there is a head blocking the view of the City. A big head, full of sharp teeth, filling up the entire window, scanning the room with a yellow reptilian eye. Brown pebbled skin, striped with red. The dinosaur snorts, and the breath from its nostrils fogs the glass. Ian turns around, dumbfounded.]

Okay... everyone keep absolutely still. Its vision is based on movement, like a frog’s. It can’t see us if we don’t-

[The T-Rex roars, a scream from another world. The glass shatters from the sound of it, blowing inwards all over the room. The last shot of the morning news is of Ian and other staff panicking, and then the feed is cut]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin is wearing a newspaper hat on his head. Calvin is waving a water pistol. Calvin is standing on top of a pile of boxes roughly resembling a fort, surrounded by water balloons. Calvin looks serious.]

ATTENTION DENIZENS OF THE CITY! We've all been worried about this kid thing for so long that we've lost track of the really important things we ought to be focusing on! And I am going to fix that, right here, today!

[Calvin points at a building behind him with the KaibaCorp logo on it.]

WATER FIGHT! It's happening right now at Kaibaland, and everybody's invited! Even the girls, against my better judgment. Everyone who wants to be on my side has to wear a hat like this one! [Pointing at his head] Everyone who isn't on my side might as well be wearing bulls-eyes, haha! Don't hesitate! Bring your friends! Bring your toys! Bring lots of water! Get down here now!

[Calvin waves the squirt gun over his head again, then runs forward to turn the camera off]

[ooc: log is up here. Have fun!]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[The communicator is propped up on an armrest, and the video shows Calvin slouched on a couch in a posture more commonly associated with certain invertebrates. The room he's in is dark. A a flickering glow bathes his face. In the background, a chattering announcer is explaining how you can improve your life today by wearing the proper brand of athletic shoe. Calvin doesn't look away from the television as he talks.]

I read that this guy called Mill said that the only reason anybody can interfere with a person's choices is to keep other people from being hurt. According to him, nobody has a right to force anybody to do anything just for their own good! There has to be somebody else at stake!

So according to that, how can anybody justify restricting someone's entertainment? Who cares if television rots my brain, desensitizes me to violence, and bombards me with commercial slogans! Unless I'm somehow hurting somebody else by sitting here, it ought to be my own choice to watch TV until by eyes melt!

[A new commercial has started playing, this one describing how you can improve your life today by chewing the proper brand of gum. Calvin is able to tear his eyes away from his lord and master long enough to look in the camera for a moment.]

This is a very important principle that I think should be defended at all costs. I want to know who wants to back me up on this!

Preferably before my bedtime.

[ooc: Calvin's talking about this thing, for reference.]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
Hey, everybody listen up! Angelica’s back and I’m gonna celebrate, which means it's time for a game of Calvinball! Also known as the Best Game Ever because I invented it! Everyone who wants to have fun has got to meet me outside Xavier’s this weekend. If you don’t come, you’re not cool! Got all that?

Oh, and you have to bring a mask.

[ooc: log's up!]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[The video shows Calvin standing in his (very messy) room at the Xavier’s Institute, smiling.]

Big news, everybody! The results are in! It was a really tight race between lots of strong candidates, but the swing vote of the six-year-old demographic proved crucial in deciding the outcome. It looks like I’m going to be staying with Miss Angelica and, um, that one really fast guy she lives with. Hold on, I’ll show you.

[Calvin darts out of the picture for a moment, then comes back pushing an easel into view. He then grabs a pointer stick and starts describing the chart mounted on the easel, drawn in marker and crayon.]

cut for image )

Anyway, I just want to thank everybody here at the Xavier’s Institute for putting me up and taking care of me and stuff. You’ve all been really great to me, and I promise to come back and visit! I mean, I don’t have any choice since I go to school here, but you get the idea.

[Calvin takes a moment to shove the easel out of the way of the camera, giving an unobstructed view of the appalling mess in his room.]

Oh, and I’m gonna need some help packing. Who wants to give me a hand? [Note: by ‘give me a hand’ he means ‘do it for me.’]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin is sitting in the Institute’s break room with a mug of cocoa... and a graph set up on an easel behind him, drawn crudely in different-coloured markers]

Hello everyone! I’m Calvin, and I’m here to talk to you all about the wonders of democracy! Democracy is a system of government that operates under the principle of ‘one person, one vote.’ In this case, I’m the person, and it’s my vote. You see, now that I’m back here, I’m going to have to make some hard choices that could affect my life in a lot of ways. Like where I’m going to stay and who’s going to take care of me! And in order to help the electorate make a careful and informed decision in casting his vote, I’ve been polling local six-year-old super geniuses on past, present, and future homes in the City. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Cut for image )

So who else wants to be included in the poll? [He taps the easel with the stick] C’mon, there isn’t much time until election day, and anyone who takes care of me will automatically get to be included in my biography some day! Look, I drew a line for what the perfect place would look like on the graph so you know what you’re shooting for. Tell me how close your line would be to this one- [tap tap]- and why, and we’ll see what the polls have to say about your chances of getting to have me in your home! Let democracy speak!
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[The video comes on to show a little kid with messy hair glaring into the camera. He’s shivering on account of being outside in December wearing a red striped t-shirt.]

Hey! Hey, is anyone there? That darn Porter brought me back here without Hobbes! AGAIN! Can you believe the nerve? And she couldn’t have taken me while I was wearing my snow suit or something, noooo! Whose bright idea was it to give a computer sadism programming anyway?!

[He turns around and shouts at the Porter building behind him]


[Calvin faces the camera again. He rubs his arms and his teeth chatter a little]

Man alive, it’s cold! Everybody is still here, right? You didn’t all get turned into bugs or something while I was gone, or anything? Boy, I bet something like that probably would happen! Billy? Mister Summers? Harvey? Is my room still around? Somebody just tell me someplace to go where there’s a furnace! I’m freezing!
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
C'mon... c'mon... just gotta get the angle right and-


NO! Aarrrrrgh, not again! Stupid figurine! How hard can this dumb thing be?! C'mon, it's just a lousy piece of wood!

[Video comes on to show Calvin in his room with a brutalized lump of wood lying on his desk, surrounded by knife-marks and with a crayon picture labeled 'Cal-van, ULTIMATE WARRIOR' next to it. The wood may once have vaguely resembled a humanoid figure, but it is more sawdust than man now. Calvin is scowling at the camera and seems to have a couple band-aids on his fingers]

Okay, fine. I was going to make this post all about presenting my latest artistic triumph to the world, but apparently wood isn't as rich and rewarding a sculpting medium as snow! So instead I guess I'm gonna ask you guys for advice. How many artists have we got here? Especially ones with carving or sculpting experience? I need to know what I gotta do to get this darn thing right! Do I need better tools, you think? There's a store I know that sells axes...
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
Hello? Hello, I need to talk to any and all lawyer guys and civil liberties advocates right now about something horrible being done to my fundamental human rights! I'm being oppressed! And repressed! My freedoms are being trampled! An unaccountable authority has inflicted grossly disproportionate cruel and unusual punishment upon me beyond all semblance of reason or mercy! Someone has to help me!

I am going to go through the Constitution and the Bill of Rights WORD BY WORD until I find a way to get out of this, mark my words! I'll take this all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to! Heck, to the White House! This is unacceptable! This is unconscionable! This is an outrage!

You're not gonna get away with this, Mister Dacosta! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO TO PROM!

[ooc: As a result of this.]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
Hobbes? Hobbes, are you here?



...Oh, darn it. This isn't fair!

Um, hey everyone, it's Calvin. I'm back. You all had darn well better have missed me! Listen, I need to know something important. Has anybody seen a tiger? His name's Hobbes, he would have gotten here really recently, I guess. He's generally kinda quiet and thoughtful, aside from frequent homicidal episodes. He really likes tuna and pouncing on people.

Oh, and Harvey, are you still here? You better not have rented out my room! Or sold my stuff! Or let Billy chew on everything!
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
Okay, I'm back to normal now everyone! I, uh, don't really remember everything, so I apologize to anybody Tracer Bullet may have worked over while he was here. He's a really gritty guy.

Anyway, apparently the guy who takes care of me has been messed up too and is running around doing who-knows-what because no one will tell me what's going on with him. I'm the one that lives with him, I'm the one that has a right to know, you guys!

But my point is, I'm all on my own for now and I'm not in the mood to do my own cooking and stuff. Bakura's already offered to look after me for a while, but I figure 'hey, where's the fair and open competition in that?' I'm sure there's lots of people out there who'd want a great kid like me, and they all deserve a chance to make their case why they're the best candidate for the position. That's the democratic way. Think of it as an opinion poll, except my opinion's the only one that matters!

So make me an offer! Why should I let you be the one to take care of me until this blows over?
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Piano music plays in the background, along with the sound of shoes in slush. The speaker's voice is rough, gravelly, and tired, from too many smokes, too many bourbons, too many cases.]

I've been making the rounds of this City for days now, and the pieces still aren't fitting together. Never found myself in a strange place with no explanation before, not without a lead pipe, a flask or both being involved somehow. Listening to you all yak on this thing day in, day out has just given me more questions. Who's this 'Porter' dame everybody's looking to tune up? Why doesn't this joint have an actual name? Why do you use this thing as an advice column?

Looks like this is what I get for wishing for a case. I probably should have mentioned that I never work pro bono. Getting dumped into this burg with no idea and no clue and no paycheck to make up for it probably goes to show that there's somebody up there watching me, and that He's got a heckuva sense of humor. But it's hard for me to say for sure. After all, I'm no priest.

[Video turns on to reveal... what appears to be a six-year old in a trenchcoat and fedora with a cigarette in his hand and a frown on his unusually-stubbled face, standing in front of a scummy-looking bar in the snow.]

I'm a private eye.
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[The altitude of the video and the roaring of the wind makes it clear that Calvin is flying as he takes a video of his trashed school. Even from this high up, it's clear that Xavier's has taken a beating- the doorway Emplate blasted open can be seen, as can a vaguely Sam Guthrie-shaped hole in the roof.]

Wow. Just wow.

You know, I've spent a lot of time thinking about something like this happening. School getting canceled on account of mass destruction, I mean. Sometimes it was dinosaurs, sometimes fighter jets, sometimes dinosaurs in fighter jets... but man, now that it's actually happened, it's really not that great. Should have made the fort bigger, I guess.

I mean, what the heck was that guy's problem?! 'Bring me what is rightfully mine', what does that even mean? Whatever he wanted, couldn't he have gotten it another way without messing up a school? Why are so many of the people in this City such whackos? There's no reason for so much of what happens here. Even if a bad guy does kill someone, they just come back! Why do they keep bothering?

People can be such jerks for no real reason. I just don't get it.

This isn't gonna happen again, is it? Because I've decided I don't want off days that badly.
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Video shows Calvin in the park putting the finishing touches on his latest masterpiece of sculpture. If the definition of 'masterpiece' were to be expanded to include 'pouring acid over a snowman's head and watching with satisfaction as the unfortunate sculpture's face boils away into a thing of disfigured liquid horror.']

[Satisfied, Calvin turns around and picks up the communicator, and zooms it out to reveal that this snowman is just one of the many victims of art in this park. There are dozens of mutilated snowmen about, some dismembered, some decapitated, others dyed from chemical explosions, and at least one of them appears to be on fire. Also, parallel poles with masking tape connecting them have been set up around the 'sculptures', forming a sort of path]

*Ah-hem.* Hey everyone, it's Calvin! I know you're all super glad to see me again, but I need you all to hold your wild adoration for just a sec so I can make an important announcement. The world's first Calvin Museum of Fine Modern Art is now officially open for business! I wasn't able to get real velvet rope on such short notice, but, well, you get the idea, right? Our first sculpture exhibit is completely free and open to the public! Although the Museum would very greatly appreciate any and all donations to help the arts. We're also hiring, in case anyone wants to be an usher or curator or anything. I can't do everything myself, you know.


Because it got long )

[ooc: If there's any other kid-characters attending Xavier's Institute that Calvin should have included in this, let me know!]
magicalworld: (Default)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Video comes on to show Calvin making a snowman outside. The snowman himself is fairly standard aside from his stick arms being posed in a thoughtful, stroking-his-chin expression. The snowman is positioned in front of a raised 'table' of snow with a single test tube filled with something red on it. A small snow fort is also visible behind the sculpture. Calvin finishes patting snow into place on the snowman, then turns to address the camera.]

Ladies and gentlemen of the City, you are about to witness the beginning of the next big thing in avant-garde sculpture! Using snow as my medium and chemistry as my, um, science, I intend to craft works of art to astound, provoke, intrigue, and perplex! My art isn't cheap or commercialized! My art is original and daring! It asks the hard questions while instilling a deep, profound emotional response!

Take this piece for example. I call it 'The Dangers of Science.' It is a cautionary tale of how man's pride and thirst for knowledge can be his downfall. It asks the viewer to contemplate the inherent risks of meddling with natural forces in the quest for truth. Behold, the Dangers of Science!

[Calvin produces another test tube filled with something blue and quickly pours it into the first.] FIRE IN THE HOLE! [Calvin runs for it and dives behind the safety of the fort seconds before the test tube explodes, spattering the snow all around with steaming purple liquid and reducing the snowman to a misshapen, disfigured, partially-melted purple lump. Calvin emerges from behind the fort, beaming.]

This work of artistic vision can be yours right now, but only for a limited time! Unless you have a freezer or something to put it in when spring comes, I guess. I'll be taking bids immediately starting at one hundred dollars.

On a related note, anyone know where I can get more test tubes?
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[personal profile] magicalworld
Hey Billy! Harvey! Look! We're going to the circus! [Calvin is excitedly waving three circus tickets that mysteriously appeared in an envelope on his window last night.] Santa must have come early to reward me for putting that thing back on the Moon! This is gonna be great.

Which reminds me, I have a philosophical quandary I wanted to run by everyone. How do you all judge and reward good behavior versus bad behavior? Or, to be more specific, how do you think Santa judges and rewards good behavior versus bad behavior? Like, do you think he takes extenuating circumstances into account?

I mean, let me give you this completely imaginary example. There's this kid, hypothetically speaking, and okay maybe he hasn't got the best track record in the world, you know? In relative terms, at least! So speaking objectively, maybe he shouldn't get so many presents. But there's a whole bunch of special context that has to be considered! Like, maybe the kid has experienced some really big stuff over the past year, like for example getting zapped into an alternate dimension and a near-death experience or three. That sort of stuff would have changed the way he'd behave, right? He'd have to react somehow to the stress of all these huge things happening, even though all of it was totally out of his control!

I think that if Santa can really tell who's naughty and nice all the time, then he also ought to be able to realize that there are different grades of responsibility for certain things that might look really bad if recklessly taken out of context, and his gift-giving should be accordingly generous. Good and evil are all largely determined by circumstance! What do you guys think?
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[personal profile] magicalworld
[Video shows Calvin in his room, nose pressed against his windowpane. After a second he sighs and turns back to the camera, sitting on the edge of his bed, looking cranky.]

Y'know, after all those leaves I burned in the fall, you'd think we'd have a lot more snow on the ground by now! At this rate I won't be able to make a decent fort forever. Clearly the snow demons are angry.

Anyway, I wanted to ask you guys. You ever feel like your life's peaked? Like you've already hit your high point and there's nothing that will come after that will ever really measure up? I mean, the feeling that there's nothing to look forward to cause the best has already come and gone.

There's a lot of old people here so I'm guessing a lot of you know what I'm talking about. I think it's supposed to be part of a midlife crisis or something, but I'm still just a kid! I'm supposed to have loads of stuff to look forward to! But the fact is that I went to the freaking Moon in a glowing green spaceship, and it was incredible. So now what? What the heck else is there? How do you even try to top that?

Oh yeah, before I forget. [Calvin reaches into a drawer and pulls out a piece of metal/plastic which appears to have an awful lot of moon dust on it. And the US flag. And the letters 'NASA'.] I swiped a souvenir for Billy and Harvey while Mister Gardner wasn't looking. Anybody got any ideas where I should put it? I was thinking over a door or something.
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[personal profile] magicalworld
[Video shows Calvin looking much as he does in the icon, except A ROBOT, complete with spiky metal hair. He's flying high over the City, and you can hear the roar of his brand new ROCKET FEET]

Hey everyone! I just thought of something great! I was kind of freaked out to be turned into a robot at first, until I realized that robots don't have to go to school! I don't have to do any homework as long as I'm like this! Hahahahahha, sayonara math!

[In the hand not holding the communicator, Calvin has his math book. Which he just dropped into the Hudson from high altitude while laughing. Video shows it going down, down, down...]

The rocket feet are amazing too! Man, I hope this isn't another of those things that just lasts for a week!
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Attention all shapeshifters, time travelers and teleporters! It's Calvin with a special opportunity for you! How would you like to bring joy into the life of a child?


So, you like having me and Billy around, right? You ever think about adopting another kid?
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Hey! Hey everybody! I know a lot of you are busy with the power problems and stuff, but this is important too! Does anyone know how I can get a hundred and fifty bucks on short notice? It's really, really urgent!


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January 2014

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