video;

Dec. 4th, 2013 08:57 pm
amoray: (pic#5327978)
[personal profile] amoray
I'm in a good mood.

[ which should be enough of an indicator that he did something wrong. anyway, this is eridan in his penthouse, having set up the comm on the small table in front of his couch! a fatass persian cat lords from his obnoxiously large cat tree off to the left. eridan steps back from the comm, kicks an unlabeled cardboard box out of view (it rattles in a metallic fashion), and flops down on the couch at his back.

completely shamelessly, in rumblr coolkid fashion, he is wearing this sweater. except it has a persian on the front. HOW EMBARRASSING.
]

In fact, I'm in such a good fuckin' mood I'm actually gonna buy you filthy plebeian animals holiday presents this year. That's a general you, a course, I do kinda hate the fuck outta some of you. Not gonna commit to anythin' here, but you can try me. Drop some Congo wishlists on me, or just giwe me some kinda idea what you want; I'm probably headin' out for the holidays, so I ain't gonna be here, and if I'm gonna bother I need a horn's up in adwance. Maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't, but there ain't no harm in askin' me, right?

No islands, no guns, nothin' illegal. Since I know somebody's gonna ask. [ pffffft. he rolls his eyes. ] What do I look like, some kinda fuckin' psycho? Puh-leeze.

[ apparently done (why did he even bother setting up the comm, anyway?) he steps back in, killing the feed. ]

voice;

Sep. 25th, 2013 07:42 pm
amoray: (pic#5793433)
[personal profile] amoray
Alright siltsuckers, listen up. Matter of grawe import here.

[ DRAMATIC PAUSE. ]

I'm throwin' another imPort Halloween party this year. Here's a list of people who aren't inwited.

CUT FOR BREAKING UP MY POST COMPOSITION )

Now, I know last year's choice in entertainment wasn't to eweryone's tastes, the particular tastes it was in apparently bein' kinda traumatic, and people might still be feelin' a little finhurt ower gettin' inducted into the festiwities without bein' told ahead of time. [ NERDS. ] I'm gonna go ahead and clear up any rumors by sayin' that I'm not the type to go beatin' a gimmick into the ground, whether or not it was clewer, creatiwe, and righteously kickass. Which it was.

You got nothin' to worry about.

Same place and time an' all that noise, costumes mandatory, kick up any fuss and I'm kickin' your ass and then kickin' you out. Much as I sympathize with wantin' to murder half the cape population around here, do it on your own fuckin' time.

[ a brief pause, like he's reflecting on how poorly worded that was. OH WHALE. ]

On an off note, I'm considerin' hawin' a gladiatorial pit off to the side or somethin'; traditional highblood get-together fare, nothin' special. You think I could get away with usin' dogs instead a bums if none of 'em kill each other?

People get real huffy about that for some reason.

audio;

Jul. 7th, 2013 04:41 pm
amoray: (pic#5784376)
[personal profile] amoray
You know what we did back on Alternia? With criminals.

[ yep, just an abrupt snap into conversation. he sounds reasonably like himself during the whole address; some inflections are a little too sharp, his words come quicker than normal, but nothing too alarming. ]

Most folk who fucked up an' got themselwes caught with their graspers in the ceramic grubpaste container, so to say, ended up winnin' themselwes a fresh fuckin' hole or two courtesy a the legislacerators. Sometimes they'd get their claws on a real useful gutterblood, though - somebody worth the hassle of keepin' in less than three pieces, usually 'cos of their powers; maybe some sad rustblooded fuck with a little extra kick to their pan. So they'd slap on some chains, and they'd work 'em down to the marrow doin' somethin' or other, for the benefit a the people they were tryin' to fuck ower in the first place. Kinda like an apology, if you think about it. A real compulsory one.

I'm kinda curious why we couldn't do somethin' like that here.

[ a beat. ]

New Wesuwius was a shithole, but it was a clean runnin' shithole. Think maybe that'd work for us too, if we took somethin' outta this whole affair. Put imPort criminals in some kinda second class citizenry status while they work off their time, make 'em put the city back together with them nifty powers a theirs. Rebuildin' Central Park ewery couple a weeks, pickin' cats outta trees. The kinda good Samaritan shit we're too busy to be botherin' ourselwes with. Hell, pair it up with that whole C.O.C.K. affair, bridlin' the capes. You'd have natiwe folk eatin' that shit up.

Might not be agreeable with whatewer piss-poor set a morals you people might be draggin' around, but I personally think a year or two a indentured serwitude'd be a whole fuckin' lot of reason to keep courteous around here. Can't go makin' an omelet without grindin' a few squallin' lowblooded grubs into a fine paste, et cetera.

[ another beat! this one is shorter, and rather than ending with the usual theatrical flair, it ends with a whimper. or more accurately, an audible shrug. ]

Just sayin'.

audio;

May. 3rd, 2013 04:45 pm
amoray: (pic#5793430)
[personal profile] amoray
Now, let's say a brinesucker's puttin' serious thought into purchasin' himself a yacht. Like a nice one, not no fuckin' piddly squat rowboat. Somethin' he can liwe off of when shit starts blowin' south around here.

What should this metaphorical sucker a salt consider namin' this metaphorical yacht of his?

audio;

Jan. 27th, 2013 04:07 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
So as of a week ago, this backwater little ball a mud you lot call a planet mowed into the best sign a the year, in the best age a the year. Mine. I woulda announced this fortuitous fuckin' turnin' of the tides a week ago, but I had better shit to do. Now that I don't... well, there you go actually. Tide-turnin' well and thorough announced.

You're welcome.

[a puff of breath.]

So, line up - who's mine? I see a fat fuckin' lot of you come and go ewery year, so the question bears repeatin' now and again. Line up Aquariuses, I got some not-so-metaphorical rings that need some possibly metaphorical kissin' here.

Eff-why-aye, smartassed Scorpios are banned from commentin' on this memo. All of 'em. Whether or not I'm actually capable or possessin' of enough shit to give for bannin' them outright, it's the thought that counts.

So do us a fawor and piss off.

[click! and then, a few minutes later:]

...And I suppose it's my wrigglin' day in about a fortnight's time. Birthday. Whatewer. Holiday celebratin' your local Lord a the Seas if you want to get technical. I'll be acceptin' gifts, tributaries, sacrifices - not human, I get enough of you sand stompers as is - all a the abowe in adwance, though. So look sharp.

[click.]

voice;

Sep. 22nd, 2012 05:48 pm
amoray: (105.)
[personal profile] amoray
So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

video;

Aug. 18th, 2012 05:08 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.
]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

voice;

Aug. 9th, 2012 07:55 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
So what are you gonna do when they outlaw all that superheroin' nonsense you all lowe so damn much?

[to his credit, he's trying to sound grave. (it isn't working.)]

We take this - and we're goin' to, since we got such big pushers for mustard-bellied diplomacy in charge around here - they ain't gonna be satisfied 'til they got us all on leashes. And at the first signs a dissent, they're gonna hang us by 'em. I sure hope you lot can handle the usage a our powers bein' a criminal offense, since that's the next thing to go. A Wulcanus gun in ewery Natiwe hand and a trackin' chip in ewery filthy imPort, right?

[a theatrical pause. contrary to his usual habit of getting worked up in his tirades, eridan's been very calm (albeit smug in his "my unreasonable paranoia was entirely justified" kind of way) but no less intense throughout.]

We start goin quietly into that good fuckin' nocturnal phase and we aint newer gonna stop.

video;

Jul. 13th, 2012 04:43 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
And a course I end up missin' all the fuckin' fun.

[here's eridan!! distinctly not in a prison jumpsuit anymore (and notably scarfless), and he's looking irritable as ever.]

I expect one a you psychopathic shits out there is already plannin' some manner a slaughter to try and top it, and I ain't exactly discouragin' any such plans, but try and hold off until I got my bearins again. You know how I hate missin' social ewents.

[beat.]

Joke.

Anyhow, I'm loose. Somebody come get lunch with me or somethin' akin so can quit feelin' like an ex-con for a while.

voice;

Jun. 29th, 2012 03:57 pm
amoray: (all your anger,all your love)
[personal profile] amoray
[he doesn't start speaking right as the feed starts! there's a solid second or two of eridan trying to find his train of thought, the occasional heavy, expectant breath or two the only signs of his false starts.]

Well, Mexico was a shipload a fun. Don't know about anybody else's impromptu as fuck abscondin'.

Not my point of makin' this point though, so listen up, landlubbers.

[there is a decided lack of flair in eridan's voice, despite the (sharp, direct) pun/nautical reference or two. he's purposeful.]

They say they're cuttin' me loose soon, probably on account a my bein' such a charminly well-behawed prisoner and all. Due to personal circumstances, I'll be needin' to get a few affairs in order before my date a release.

I need a place to liwe, a tutor for the upcomin' schoolfeedin' year, and hopefully enough, some manner a profession. If you're willin' to hire a sewen solar sweep year old like myself, a course, don't want to go about misleadin' folk. Lyin' to 'em. Suchlike.

[a stale beat.]

No nosy hiwemates. Roommates, whatewer. I don't fuckin' like most a you and I probably won't giwe a shit about your problems, so keep your cartilage nubs outta mine. I got more than enough beetles in my coffers to keep me afloat for a while, so rent ain't gonna be an issue. Probably.

[a beat. he sounds like he means to say something dramatic or heartfelt to top off his posts like usual, and then:]

Preferably cat friendly. But I'm flexible.

video;

May. 15th, 2012 10:02 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
[video!! the backdrop is a superjail cell, with one very human Eridan sitting on a bed looking very, very bored. in his super fashionable superjail jumpsuit.]

For all the terrifyin' talk I hear about this prison thing, it's actually kinda borin' as fuck in here. Particularly in solitary.

I mean, you go all the way upside the thoughtbox a certain fellow inmates with a lunch tray - well within your rights in doin' so, I may add - and they throw you in the fuckin' brig. Who knows how long I'm gonna be rottin' in here ower that little snafu.

[he folds his ringless hands, eyebrows raised.]

So, as the Prince a Hope and with a excess a Nancy Drew books serwin' as my only readin' material Ed, I figure I oughta get more intimate with my realm a affluence. You know, get real comfortable with the scope a it in these parts and suchlike officious and productiwe horseshit. Not like I hawe anythin' better to do. Think a me as a lesser Endless, if you're so inclined.

So. What do you lot hope for?

[for anybody answering with voice or video options, please fill this out! eridan will be actively snooping throughout this post.]

audio;

May. 4th, 2012 04:58 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
[there's no real hurry or spectacle to this post - not even a theatrical, outraged diatribe on the gory details of his death, as much fun as that would be. for once, eridan sounds halfway like he's taking the entire matter seriously.]

Well, congratulations goin' out to certain notable slimesuckin' halfwits. You finally managed killin' me.

And it only took four a you. Three and a god, if we're gettin' into technicalities.

[he drawls every word, sounding as bored as he can. the only background noise is the constant clicking of a pen, to the william tell overture.]

I'm turnin' myself in for the accidental killin' a Karkat Wantas. Lawfolk type can find me at [DIFFICULT TO FIND AND PURPOSEFULLY OUT-OF-THE-WAY LOCATION] whenewer they feel like comin' around, so we can get this hot mess sorted out. Don't keep me waitin'. And do yourself a fawor - no rookies. There's a decent chance I'm goin' to hawe another attempt on my own personal life, just sayin'.

[a brief pause.]

And before anybody asks, that's all I'm turnin' myself in for. Figured I oughta clear that up, since my murderer's a god damn liar and has leweled some mightily untrue accusations my way and all. I'd appreciate untoward and magnificently pointless questionin' to that end be sawed for a day I didn't just end up comin' back from the dead, if that ain't goin' to impinge on anybody's schedule.

And hey, I wasn't kiddin' about sendin' experienced folk. You newer know when some freak with a grudge is goin' to come try an' lop your head off, after all.

[CLICK. then, a moment later:]

And Di, thanks for the pep talk. Good to be back.

[CLICK.]

PRIVATE MESSAGES )

voice;

Apr. 19th, 2012 05:07 pm
amoray: (IRRITATION.)
[personal profile] amoray
[the only preamble the feed gets this time around is Eridan briefly clicking his nails on a hard surface, and an uncharacteristic pause.]

Say somebody tries to kill you. And I mean kill you, as in rip your fuckin' guts out and you don't come back kinda kill. Not like what we got here. This is permanent. And it's gonna be nasty.

But you're faster.

Do you put 'em down and get it ower with? Do you maybe just blow off a limb and disarm 'em? Somethin' else?

[an irate beat.]

Is it really that big a fuckin' deal to you people to kill 'em for ewen tryin'?

[it's been bothering him since his blowup with Namora, and the lack of pomp in his delivery might betray it.]

audio;

Apr. 4th, 2012 06:52 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
Now let's say somebody in particular, that somebody bein' a prince who shouldn't hawe to deal with this horseshit, is gettin' threatened in a psychic manner by their fuckin' malewolent psychopath of an ex. Gettin' terrorized, in a manner a speakin' that ain't hypothetical in the least, by a freak whose meddlin' is causin' all manner a...

[beat.]

...unfortunate side effects. Damage.

An' this particular harangued-as-fuck sea dweller is in the market for psychic protection to keep it from gettin' worse.

[another beat UGHHHHHH HE HATES ASKING FOR HELP]

Where do they get it.
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
You know, I'm all for free Condesce-approwed flappin' a protein chute ducts much as the next guy. I really am. And I want this bein' known in case anybody gets a rogue stick up the hindquarters here.

[it's just audio for the moment, the crunch crunch crunching of his shoes on gravel, distant traffic, and Eridan's vaguely irritated drawl. he comes to a stop, pausing briefly for effect.]

But I can't be the only one gettin' just a mite pissed off at all a - well, this.

[a flash of video; IMPORTS GO HOME is scrawled across a dingy brick wall, along with various other anti-import graffiti.]

Fuckin' ungrateful goddamn scum - the majority a us got no plans to conquer the fuck outta their kind or wipe 'em off the face a the planet and sink the parts that don't matter muchly, and I still get dirty fuckin' looks on the subway.

The nerwe a some people.

[a pause. he flickers over to CHILDKILLERS, which is in large and prominent red.]

Though I gotta admit, I admire the wisceral edge a some a these.

[gradually he settles on an entirely different message, written in fuchsia. there's a pause as he bristles at DEATH TO THE INVVADERS.]

And others, not so much.

Wrong shade a fuckin' purple, for one.

[and the feed is finally on him, leaning against the wall.]

So what are we gonna do about it?

private to Quentin Quire )

video;

Feb. 28th, 2012 06:12 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
Do I get to say I told you so yet?

[video! of Eridan (looking just a little bit crankier and disheveled than usual) and his room, again. with his gigantic ridiculous portrait in the view, the feed positioned just so. enough to be a conversational piece, but not the focus (besides Eridan).

it's almost as if someone was enough of an egotistical tool to do that on purpose.
]

"No, Eridan, despite all a your tactical experience in conquerin' the fuck outta enemies, we're goin' to up and fuckin' ignore all those warnins a yours pertainin' to properly handlin' the Skrull threat. Includin' the ones suggestin' that you'd be a probable target, bein' as close to the city's seats a political power as you are and ewerythin'. Let's just throw a sickeninly obwious target for Skrullin' like Ed or Norm in our human penal containment buildin' and call it an ewenin'."

Oops.

[he folds his hands, narrows his eyes, and scoffs in what is possibly the most condescending manner possible.]

Now, if we're all feelin' so kind, how about a lesson in what I missed? Consider it like an apology for fuckin' up so bad.
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
BORING PURPLETEXT PREAMBLE )

[video of Eridan's room! after a quick blur of Alternian-filled notebooks, a suspicious pile of metal and tools in the corner, and a godawful amount of purple decoration, it focuses on... well, pretty much this with some minor discrepancies, leaning up against the wall.

after setting up the comm, Eridan strolls over and leans against it proudly.
]

I'm thinkin' we set it up in the dinin' room.

voice;

Feb. 2nd, 2012 01:15 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
So.

[aside from the distant-ish sounds of traffic and the regular scritch of pencil on paper (and his voice duh), it's very quiet. there isn't even any music from a band nobody's ever heard of playing softly in the background!! and as soon as he starts again, it's pretty obvious he's been practicing this entire spiel in a mirror or something so it doesn't sound lame (it still sounds lame).]

I'm hearin' chatter concernin' this upcomin' human festiwal a romance and whatnot. Somethin' circlin' around the quadrants.

Which, you know, considerin' how much shit your species stole off mine it's not totally unexpected, but I'm still feelin' all tinglinly fuckin' pleasantly surprised and whatnot. Kinda.

[pause.]

Pink is not the right color for flushed feelins, eff-why-aye.

[PAUSE...]

...So. What's the deal with it around here, anyhow? What sorta festiwties do I gotta expect? I'm assumin' you don't do anythin' like sacrificin' somebody to appease the Handmaid or warious flawors a mythological bullshit like that by natural course a bein' borin' humans, but that's okay. I wouldn't anticipate excitin' shit like that anyhow.

[yep there's another pause, where he stops writing. then, lamely:]

I'm just curious. Don't go gettin' the wrong idea or anythin'.

[LIKE HE'S TRYING TO WWOO SOMEBODY. THAT WOULD BE DUMB.]
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
So I hear we're enterin' the Age a Aquarius nowadays.

[video! of the clear sky, occasionally marked by a circling seabird or two. or a lot. because there's a lot of them. Eridan's shoulder is just barely visible in the edge of the feed, his voice accompanied by rhythmic scraping noises. also, there's totally the sound of the ocean and shit behind all that. none of that is as loud as his stupid magenta swim trunks or hideous green and purple scarf, though!!]

Well, by human standards, naturally - it's always the Age a Aquarius for me personally - but I digress. [A SMUG "HEH".] How fuckin' fortuitous for your race, though; honestly, I can't think of a better age to be enterin'. Says a lot a good things about what's comin'.

[scrape scrape scrape. he holds something up in the sun to examine, before going back to work.]

You know, my sources tell me humans consider this particular Age "marked by philanthropy, weracity, persewerance, nonconformism, rebellion", and all that other good shit. 'S just too damn bad some a us might be missin' it from here on out, dyin' horribly as a late and all. I consider bein' locked up like some manner a animal just as bad. For the record.

[SUDDENLY, BIRD. Eridan is still drawling on about how great he is, unaware until the bird starts pecking at the comm. he whirls around, hisses, chases it off; the comm is jostled, enough to see that it (and Eridan) are resting on something fleshy. there's blood (bright red, not his) streaked from Eridan's hands all the way up to his elbows. he pouts frowns at the feed, put out by the loss of ~*mystery*~ in his post.]

Fuckin' flybeasts. [SIGHHH. he picks up the comm, focusing it on himself again, and makes it obvious he's not sitting on a bunch of dead people or something. just a dead whale!! he makes an obvious show of drawing attention to the nasty scar on his face and the even worse ones on his belly, since this is the first time he's shown them on the network. LOOK AT HOW BADASS HE LOOKS NOW!!] Anyhow, I'm back in the City all proper and whatnot, in case any a you got a reason for glubbin' with me personally. I might be inclined towards makin' room in my schedule for you, ewen.

[he waves his recently finished whalebone wand at the camera nonchalantly, smirking. COME AT HIM, TROLLBROS.]

Enjoy your next couple a thousand years, landlubbers. No need to thank me.

[click!]
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
Okay, let's hypothetically hypothesize that somebody is currently embroiled up to their fuckin' nook in a contentious goddamn present purchasin' one-upsmanship. You know, for Earth Jegusmas or whatewer.

Now if they were potentially lookin' for somethin' that'd knock Ed Nygma's tacky green socks right the fuck off - that bein' metaphorically or otherwise, I'm not reel picky - what should they look for?

I'm directin' this in the general current a his Gotham slumber buddy circle in particular, but you know, whoewer's familiar with this kinda situation is welcome to makin' dumb bubbly fishnoises on the matter, since I can't particularly fuckin' stop you anyway.

[paussse.]

Somethin' for Felicia Hardy too. Kinda leanin' less on the facetious side, for her.

[another pause.]

Anybody spills the unripe legume fruits to either a the aforementioned and I'll fuckin' skin' 'em.

voice;

Dec. 11th, 2011 08:43 pm
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
Alright, because I'm wery generous and kinda don't hawe a lot a options otherwise here, I am goin' to warn the lot a you that this is a priwate-type matter between Gam and myself. It's got nothin' to do with anythin' that's happened here, none a his killins, nothin' at all - so don't feel obligated or anythin' such to eawesdrop. Really.

In fact, it's shit from the Weil, troll shit, which is neither here or there really. Borin' shit, you probably wouldn't wanna hear it anyways.

Basically it's got nothin' to do with none a you fuckin' nosy types, so ewen though I know somebody or other is not goin' to fuckin' bother heedin' my warnin', know that I would not be offended if you... you know, just kinda pissed off from here onwards.

Okay, with that said, let's mowe onto the matter at fin.

[pause. then, with outrage:]

Gam, what the flippin' fuck do you mean you cut off my head?
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
Alright, ewerybody tune your auricular sponge clots in and listen the fuck up. I got somethin' of a announcement here, it bein' of a pressin' and important nature to all a your own personal selwes.

Obserwe.

[video! Eridan, in troll form. and a ~*stylishly hip*~ ensemble, but you know, troll form.]

Feast your eyes, landlubbers. [FLOURISH. his scarf flutters dramatically.] This is what a real troll looks like, newermind any a my assblooded ilk you mighta seen around. Gam included.

Unlike them, I'm basically perfect.

[BACK TO VVOICE.]

Alright, show's ower. Go back to whatewer inconsequential shit you had goin' on beforehand.

[HOPE READING PERMISSIONS PLEASE...]
amoray: (Default)
[personal profile] amoray
cut for purple courier, Eridan declaring himself leader of everything in the upcoming eldritch invasion, and also a bunch of shit he made up )

[AND A SWITCH TO VOICE because his royal text color should be reserved for serious goddamn business.]

Now, aside from that, I realize we got a lot a new arriwals around here. So I got a question for the lot a you.

What's your sign?
[identity profile] disillusionists.livejournal.com
[ there's Eridan and Rose sitting together on a couch. Rose is dressed in her soccer team uniform and not looking very happy to be there. Eridan's disgruntled and pissy like always. in Rose's hands, there's a dry erase board and a large pile of markers. ]

Now, it's been brought to my attention that certain indiwiduals are throwin' around the names a the magnificent quadrants without knowing quite what they are. Some a you miserable sons a beaches [HE WENT THERE, EDDIE] don't ewen know what the quadrants are in the first fuckin' place, and my bein' the most romantically educated a the trolls around here means I got a certain responsibility in informin' the lot a you.

[Eridan sighs and makes some random stupid gesture with his hand for no particular reason, aiming for disaffected but landing on douche. as he usually does.]

I understand wantin' to emulate the fuckin' majestic nature of 'em in your own personal liwes and all, but I been seein' 'em used in manners that quite frankly don't make a god damn lick a sense, or just end up bein' offensiwe as fuckin' fuck. So me and my wolunteer here took the liberty a transcribin' ewerythin' anybody's ewer gonna need to know about their own personal romantic liwes.

[he smirks viciously into the camera.]

And we were ewen nice enough to go prowidin' examples.

[back to pomposity!]

So if you're in any sorta way thinkin' a usin' the quadrants, sit the fuck down and listen.

[ rose's face just..... flatlines even more than it already is. the epitome of ":|" ]

I believe being taken and held against your will isn't under the definition of "volunteer".

[Eridan shoots her a quick but nonetheless dirty look over his shoulder.]

Rose, be a fuckin' team player for once.

this shit is four pages long YOU WANT US TO CUT IT also it’s filled with stupid and horrible drawings )

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