incywincyhero: (spidey: it's tingling more than ever now)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[Spider-Man's mask isn't visible in frame -- instead, it's generic view of City skyline, no particular landmarks in sight. Still, you don't need to recognize individual buildings to see they don't look right. Skyscrapers are tall as a rule, but these seem taller than they should, relative to the visible number of stories.

That the tallest ones are starting to corkscrew round the tops should also be a giveaway.]


Please, someone tell me I drank some bad eggnog last night and I'm imagining this. I will gladly trade the public humiliation for architecture with a proper respect for the laws of physics. And if it's not asking too much, I'd also appreciate laws of physics with a proper respect for the laws of physics.

[He clears his throat.] Assuming lack of egg-induced hallucinations, I think everybody should grab a coat and get outside.

[Beat. The groan of tortured metal and concrete is audible.]

Right now. Help anyone around you who needs help, but don't waste time trying to pack.

[PRIVATE to Tony Stark and Valeria Richards.]

Tony? Val? If I don't hear from you in the next five minutes I'm heading to the penthouse.
incywincyhero: (peter: negative space)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
Just got a notification from Hank McCoy's export sensor. He set an automated goodbye message, so... some of you will probably have gotten that.

We got brought in at about the same time, almost three years ago. Man, if he doesn't come back, it's gonna be weird without him.

Anyway. Just thought people should know.
wild_roar: (tiger - happy)
[personal profile] wild_roar
[the video snaps on to an EXTREME CLOSEUP of Wild Tiger, visor raised, his expression teetering between a stupid grin and a rather proud, heroic look.]

Good evening, City, and welcome to a special edition of HeroTV, just for you!

[wow he’s never done that before. It feels great. He pulls back so he can aim the video at the important part of the scene: the back of an office chair. Spidey’s leaning on the smooth leather top.]

We bring you this little bit of breaking news...

...as some of you may remember, Tiger and I’ve been keeping our ears to the ground looking for the guy who sold laser weapons to Phantasm -- or those crazy kids pretending to be Phantasm, anyway.

[Spidey steps back enough that he can spin the chair around to reveal...

One David Xanatos, webbed into the seat.
]

Ladies and gents, someone’s been a naughty, naughty boy.

[Xanatos himself is obviously annoyed by this, but manages to keep a relatively neutral tone.]

Patronizing me? I expected something a bit more mature, Spider-Man.

I’d pretend to be offended, but honestly, have even you met me?

Guys, come on. [he wants some camera time, too] We did our homework and found someone who could tell us where they got the weapons. Turns out it’s this guy.

To the best of my knowledge, there isn’t anything illegal about selling weapons to private citizens. [even though they may not have been the most legal of channels...it’s a good thing he’s keeping up that poker face.]

Oi, did you even do background checks on those guys? Considering they shot at us?!

Next time, I’ll make sure the checks are more thorough

Background che -- background checks?! [Unimpressed Spidey is unimpressed.] Hello, lasers.

Yeah, lasers! And that’s why we’re bringing you in, for weapons violations all over the place. [not that he’s an expert. That’s for the lawyers. He peers into the camera again] Can you believe this guy? Thugs pretending to be part of Phantasm get his weapons and he doesn’t even care.

Yeah, it’s almost like he’s an evil mastermind selling laser guns or something.

[Now THAT gets a small chuckle.] Evil mastermind? A bit too cliche, don’t you think? I’m a businessman, nothing more.

Yeah, and that’d be the standard evil mastermind alibi right there.

The police are on their way, so you can tell it to them when they get here. [a wink for the camera. Cliche lines are so smoooth] Never let anybody say heroes don’t do anything useful around here.

[he taps his finger to his visor] ...Wild Tiger, over and out!



[ooc: oops! right! greenish is Wild Tiger, red is Spider-man, and blue is Xanatos. Just in case!]
incywincyhero: (spidey: eureka!)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[The video opens on Spider-Man, looking a little... singed. There’s a scorch mark blotting one of those giant, white mask lenses, and what looks to be an improvised web-bandage slapped around one shoulder. Despite these obvious marks of a fracas, he adopts a chipper pose, pointing his finger in the air as he says:]

We interrupt your regularly scheduled network programming to bring you a special announcement--

[just about there is where Ko...I mean Wild Tiger blunders into view just over Spidey’s shoulder, examining a slightly-bloodied slash in his sleeve and the burn mark on his bicep underneath]

Damn! Maybe I should have worn the suit after all.

[Spidey half-turns in his direction, finger still raised.]

I did tell you, didn’t I? I said, “Tiger, I know you don’t want to be all intimidating--”

Yeah, but how was I supposed to know that we were gonna be walking into LASERS! Who the hell even uses laser guns anymore? Honestly!

Phantasm, apparently. [To the Network:] That’s right, folks. Our friendly neighborhood homegrown wannabes now have laser weaponry. And they’re definitely not afraid to use ‘it.

More! )
incywincyhero: (peter: negative space)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
One week, give or take? That's one heck of a New Year's hangover. And I wasn't even drinking.

Sooooo. How's 2013 treating everyone so far? Did I miss any city-and-or-nation-and-or-worldwide catastrophes?

[ENCRYPTED to KATNISS and PRIMROSE EVERDEEN.]
Are you two all right? I know you're both pretty good at taking care of yourselves, but I'm sorry I disappeared like that. Did you find the money in my desk drawer?

[ENCRYPTED to CAROL DANVERS.]
I usually don't take bathroom breaks that long, for the record. Sorry I left you with the bill.

[ENCRYPTED to MORDIN SOLUS and SHERLOCK HOLMES.]
Did you get the sensor data?
incywincyhero: (spidey: i've got a spider in my head)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[Wherever Spider-Man is, it's outside and it's dark. Though not dark enough to hide the glint of far too many glossy, marble-round eyes as something very large and very hairy jerks away from the screen. The communicator drops onto a hard surface with a clatter. The microphone picks up scraping sounds as it gets shoved around a couple of times, but the screen shows only sky.]

You know, considering our demographic someone really needs to make network communicators in a "lacking opposable thumbs" edition. Damn fiddly buttons... [Spidey's voice is almost unrecognizeable, hoarse and gutteral with an overlay of clicks.]

The science team is getting close to a cure, I promise. Maybe the next day or so... [Beat.] I can't wait that long. I'm scared that I -- that if this goes any further I'll be a danger to somebody. More of a danger, I mean... [Harsh laughter, which trails off into rasping breaths.]

I could have stopped him, you know -- a long time ago, almost before it began. I had him dead to rights, and I let him go. I played judge and jury when it wasn't my place and decided a man with amnesia didn't have to pay for committing crimes he couldn't remember. Or maybe I was just scared. Scared of living with the consequences, scared of what losing his father would do to Harry -- like he wasn't better off without him anyway, right? And I was afraid of what he might not have forgotten.

[A dark shape looms closer to the camera, then jerks away again. Not before the headlight of a passing car casts its form into all too sharp relief: Spider-Man is now far more spider than man, eight eyes, eight legs and all. The clicking sounds are explained by the mandibles which clatter together when he speaks, somehow still intelligible.]

It doesn't really matter. Everyone Norman Osborn has killed, every single person he's harmed since that night on the waterfront... I share the responsibility. I could have stopped him then, and I didn't. No one's sorrier than I am, but that won't bring Gwen back -- that won't bring any of them back.

[A long, long silence, then:] Oh, god.

[The video disconnects.]


[[Responses will be ICly delayed!]]
incywincier: (pete: aww awone (in a sweater vest))
[personal profile] incywincier
So, this is magic, right? 'Cause I'm pretty sure if I'd reverted back to my younger self for the second time I wouldn't still have my-- my memories. And if it were some kind of deaging ray I wouldn't be back in my good ol' school outfit again. [Thirteen-year-old Peter is dressed in a fetching sweater vest-and-tie ensemble, and from the way he keeps plucking at Aunt May's finest efforts in knitting, he's not too happy about it.]

I mean, I might -- I might be missing something. I'm not thinking too clearly right now -- not sure if it's the hormones, the side effects of whatever it was, or that thirty-year-old me really, really needs to cut down on the caffeine... [Beat.] And stop talking about himself in the third person.

[He tugs at the vest again and adds, mostly to himself:] At least I don't need the glasses any more.
heal_or_execute: (Developing new tech)
[personal profile] heal_or_execute
[The video opens with Mordin and Peter smiling at the camera, apparently in a lab of some sort. Given the height difference between them, Mordin is stooping a bit and Peter is kind of on his tiptoes to get them both in frame.]

Have announcement to make. Culmination of joint project. Upgrade to communicators. Could change the way Port-outs are handled.

[Peter rolls a small, penny-sized disc across his knuckles, then catches it between his first two fingers and holds it closer to the camera.]

What we have here is a sensor which, when attached to your communicator --

[He peels a little film off the back of the disc with his fingernail, grabs a comm from offscreen, then sticks the disc to the back of the comm, turning it so viewers can see how it’s attached.]

-- is designed to send out a signal to our computers here at the moment you get exPorted.

Calibrated to particular form of energy emitted by Porter. Very distinct. Records on communicator as well as sending signal. Should eliminate uncertainty after disappearance.

Right. [He nods.] No more worries whether your friend has been sent back to their home or if they’ve vanished off the face of the Earth for, well, an entirely different reason. Or that’s the idea, anyway.

[As Mordin taps his chin:] Of course, can’t entirely account for Lachesis. No way to tell if she’d be able or inclined to sabotage upgrade. More research required.

That’s where you guys come in.

Asking for test volunteers. Would receive upgrade, allow us to see whether sensor works after Port-out.[Pause, blink.] Obviously, don’t hope to see you Ported away. Unless you want to return home. In that case, wish you luck.

[It sounds like Mordin’s getting on a roll, so Peter interjects hastily:] Either way, if you’re interested, speak up in the comments or you can reach us privately through either one of our comms. And thanks for participating in the scientific method. [Yes, he said that in complete earnestness.]
incywincyhero: (peter: thoughtful)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
I feel like I've been making a lot of these posts lately, but -- Jessica Drew is gone, again. Between her, MJ, Gwen, Johnny ... when I signed the contract for this house a month and a half ago there were supposed to be nine people moving in. Right now there are five. [He sighs.] Of course, the way Lachesis plays her game we'll probably get everyone back by the end of the summer with a few more thrown in for good measure. But then there's the superstitious part of me that wonders if we didn't jinx things somehow by moving out of the MAC. [A faint smile plays across his face.] Not that being crammed like sardines in standard imPort housing was a survivable long-term solution, especially not with eight teenagers and your standard New York -- sorry, City -- summer weather, but still.

[For a few moments Peter stares off into the middle distance, tapping a pen against his lip. Then his gaze firms again and he continues:] Tell you what, I really want to know whether it's only confirmation bias or the clustering illusion that makes it seem like more imPorts have been disappearing lately, across the board. Especially now that Vulcanus is sticking its head out of its shell again. [His face twists. He really doesn't want to think about this, but.] Seems like what we really need is to figure out a way to know for sure that people have been sent home, as opposed to ... well, the alternatives. I've been bouncing some ideas off Professor Solus -- not literally -- but if any of you other sciencey types want to help brainstorm, we're game.
incywincyhero: (spidey: what.)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
Jessica Drew is missing, presumed ported out.
incywincyhero: (peter: mope)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
Has anyone seen Gwen Stacy today? I thought we'd just missed each other this morning, but ... I'm back from work late, there's no note, and she didn't call. And -- all her stuff's here.

Just -- if she's hanging out with one of you and somehow forgot her comm, let me know, all right? And tell her I'm dedicating my next gray hair to her name.

[An intake of breath, like he's about to add something else -- instead, he disconnects.]
incywincyhero: (peter: *SCIENCE!*)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[Peter's sitting cross-legged in one of those swanky mesh office chairs, what looks like a scientific journal propped open on one knee and a mechanical pencil held loosely in one hand. Judging from the camera perspective he's propped up his communicator on one side of his desk, but it's hard to see where he found the space. The rest of the visible surface is covered in the detritus of research: a half-open laptop; scattered print-outs; coffee mugs both paper and ceramic; graph paper notebooks open to half-completed diagrams of molecules and circuits both; a haphazard stack of journals with arcane names like PNAS, Biopolymers, Advanced Materials and the like. A couple of empty sushi cartons are balanced on top of the stack, chopsticks and a crumpled napkin tucked inside.]

I've been buried in research lately, and it just occurred to me that other than Carol's book I haven't read anything that's not in a cover like this-- [he picks up the journal off his lap and flaps it to demonstrate; it appears to be an issue of Physical Review Letters, whatever that is]-- in, what, six months?

I think I could use some help breaking out of my rut. What kinds of things do you read for pleasure, Network? Any recommendations? For those of you who are big readers, anyway-- I know not everyone is. [Though he clearly doesn't get why not.]
webline: (Default)
[personal profile] webline
[ the camera shows a sleeping peter parker sprawled on the couch. he’s wearing only a black t-shirt, boxers, and a shabby-looking blanket dangling off his left foot. his face is pale where it hasn’t been creased from being smashed into the cushions and he’s dead to the world -- or at least to the person wielding the camera, who’s creeping closer and closer. ]

He’s totally out of it, isn’t he? [ oh, look! it’s gwen, whispering as she carefully ducks into the frame and kneeling down in front of peter. she stares at him for a moment before waving her hand in front of his face. ]

[ a voice speaks up from behind the camera, stupid queens accent clear. oh look, it’s clearly our friendly neighborhood jessica who does not... sound happy doing this. ] Yeah, I guess he’s really stressed out or something. We should leave him alone.

[ gwen turns to the camera and gives an epic eyeroll as she takes a marker out from her pocket and uncaps it. ] Him being stressed is why we’re doing this. Either he’s gonna laugh, which is something he could use about now, or he’s gonna yell and that’d be good venting. It’s a win-win for him. [ and with that bit of fail logic, she turns back to peter and ever so slowly draws a twisty handlebar moustache on his upper lip. in bright blue. ]

[ the camera zooms in on the handlebar moustache and Jessica’s heard muttering: ] This is all going to be on you, by the way. All of it.

[ gwen laughs quietly. ] I’m okay with that. [ and, oh look, now she’s drawing stuff on his eyebrows. because this is clearly the best idea ever, amirite? ]

[ except now peter’s scrunching up his face, snuffling a little as he cracks an eye open and lets out a sound best transliterated as ] Hnnnn … guh? [ blink, blink. ] Gwendy, what -- hey!

[ and then the ever so useful: ] Yikes. [ coming from Jess as the camera zooms out and then immediately cuts ]
incywincyhero: (spidey: it's tingling more than ever now)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ENCRYPTED to Carol Danvers and Hank McCoy.]

Please tell me one of you is responsible for, or knows who is responsible for moving the Skrull body. 'Cause it sure ain't here.
incywincyhero: (peter: decisions)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ ENCRYPTED from CAROL DANVERS, JESSICA DREW, GWEN STACY, JOHNNY STORM, MAY PARKER and REILLY TYNE. Except not, because his comm is glitching. Oops?]

[ Peter's sitting on his MAC-standard couch, the communicator evidently set up on the coffee table. His hands are clasped in front of him, though that hasn't reined in his nervous thumb-twiddling. ]


So, uh. I started seeing someone recently, and I'd like to do something nice for Valentine's, but ... I'm wondering if it's too soon. It's only been a few weeks, and we've been taking it pretty slow and casual, especially since we both have a lot on our plates right now.

It's been going pretty well so far, I really care about her, and, ah -- [ He glances off to the side, an utterly soppy grin curling up one side of his mouth.] I'm pretty sure she feels the same way ... [Abruptly he seems to realize what he's doing and coughs, sitting up straight and focusing back on the camera.] Ahem. I don't want to mess things up by coming on too strong or being a creep, you know?

Guess what I'm asking is, one, is it too soon, and two, if it isn't too soon, what kind of low-key but suitably ... Valentine's-y thing could I pull off on short notice?
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
Spider-Woman is missing, and presumed 'ported out.

If you have reason to think otherwise, please drop a line to me or any other Spider-Person of your choice. I'm not going to stop looking.
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
S'funny, time sure does fly when you've been cross-dimensionally abducted. It doesn't feel like I've been here a whole year. Though quote-unquote "missing" a few weeks here and there might account for that.

All right, all you long-timers, fill me in here. Is there a rite of passage? Do I have to go on walkabout in the wintry wilderness armed with nothing but a knife? If said wilderness is Newark, can I at least have a machete? I mean, let's be realistic here, an uninhabited desert or mountain range is one thing; New Jersey's entirely another.
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[Unlike most of his previous videos, the Spider-Man in this one looks subdued, his perch on the top of an anonymous water tower more of a weary slump.]

I wish I didn't have to make this announcement, but those of you who were his friends should know. Darkdevil died earlier this week, sometime during or shortly after all the Halloween goings-on.

We -- we still don't know yet whether it was an accident or ... something else, but we're going to find out. In the meantime, if anyone remembers seeing him around that time or knows what he might've been up to right before he died, please let me, Daredevil, or a member of law enforcement know.

[Silence, as he gropes for the right words.]

Thanks.
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ ENCRYPTED to MATT MURDOCK.]

Matt ... I'm at [location], and I think I've found ... Red, I'm sorry. I think Reilly's dead. I -- I need to run the DNA to be sure, because there's no identifying this body otherwise, but it definitely looks like him and it's -- he's been here a couple of days.

I'm calling the police, don't know when they'll be here, but if you want to -- well, honestly, I don't know if you should even see this. But we'll be here a while, I think.

[ ENCRYPTED to the SPIDER-FAMILY and CASSANDRA CAIN. ]

oocly cut for length )

[ ENCRYPTED to CAROL DANVERS, HANK MCCOY. ]

I've just found a body that I think might be Darkdevil's. He's been missing for the past few days, and ... [Starting over.] I'm taking some genetic samples for comparison at the mansion labs, to make sure, and then I'm calling the police. I'm not really sure what their forensics people could do with this --- [for a moment it sounds like he's barely holding hysterical laughter at bay] -- but I can't exactly not report a dead body. Especially not an ... exploded one.

I know Darkdevil didn't really hang with the Avengers, but he's from one of our universes, and I just ... look, this could be some kind of horrible accident, but it might not, and if it wasn't we don't know why he was targeted, so spread the word, all right?

[ ENCRYPTED to POLICE INFORMANT FILTER. Timestamped later than previous messages, also forwarded to 911. ]

I ... need to report a dead body at [location; a comparatively deserted part of the City], possibly belonging to the superhero Darkdevil, who's been missing the past couple of days. [Beat.] Whoever you send, make sure they have a strong stomach. It's ... messy. I don't know if your forensics people will even be able to get a good read on this.
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
SUBJECT: Video; mid-afternoon City time

[The camera pans around to show a beautiful, yet desolate view: a snow-covered glacier plain lit softly by early morning sunlight.]

Well, we may be about to die of exposure, but at least the view’s nice.

Yes, because I always go anywhere for the view... [Sherlock’s voice from somewhere off screen cuts in, with biting sarcasm. He is hardly happy and doesn’t really care who knows it.]

I guess it could be worse. At least our comm GPS is working. Any luck with the website?

If you are interested in supporting them with a financial donation... otherwise no.

[The camera flips around to show Peter Parker, holding his communicator at arm’s length, his free hand tucked under his armpit. Evidently his thin button-down shirt and jeans aren’t warm enough for the weather conditions, despite the thick, expensive-looking blue scarf slung around his neck. His cheeks are a little pink and every once in a while the view jiggles when he bounces in place.

Over his shoulder is Sherlock, leaning intently over his comm. Luckily he is dressed in his usual dark wool coat, immaculate suit and white shirt. He’s lost his scarf, though... He is perhaps just a bit paler than usual, but otherwise he looks much more annoyed than he does cold.]


OOCly cut for length. )
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ MONDAY: ENCRYPTED to KATURIAN. ]

Katurian, you there? Get in touch as soon as you can, it's urgent.


[ALSO MONDAY: ENCRYPTED to VIC SAGE. ]

Q, you there? Could use your input on a thing, and anyway I haven't heard from you in ages. Let me know what's up.



[ TUESDAY: ENCRYPTED to AMANDA WALLER, ZATANNA, GHOST, JACK BAUER, NYMPHADORA TONKS, JIM GORDON and SELINA KYLE. ]
[attached: autopsy_comparison.pdf, riddles.txt, alibi.txt]


Has Vic Sage been around lately? Haven't seen or heard from him in the past few, bit worried he's been 'ported out. I hope he's just been 'ported out.

Anyway, I cross-checked the autopsy reports you good officers of the NYPD were kind enough to provide and did some nosing around. Uh, Ghost helped. There's a definite similarity between the recent killings and the MAJESTY murders committed by Fugue. See attached file for details, etcetera.

[A pause.] I called Katurian -- he was giving talks at a college at New Hampshire from the 20th to the 22nd. Lots of witnesses, lots of documentation.

According to Catwoman, Eddie Nygma has been riddling again. He obviously knows something, I'm just not sure what or why.

[Another infinitesimal pause, then Spidey disconnects.]

[[OOC: The "riddles.txt" link is OOC; the document itself is a transcript of the riddles and known answers. "Alibi.txt" is more detailed information on the exact time and whereabouts of Katurian's trip.]]
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ ENCRYPTED to MAY PARKER. ]

May, Electro's kid from your universe -- Allison, right? How's she holding up?


[ ENCRYPTED to POLICE INFORMANT FILTER. ]

Officers, I'm doing some looking into the recent deaths we've had. I'll pass on anything I can dig up, but in the meantime is there anything the department's at liberty to share with its, ahem, freelancers?


[ ENCRYPTED to AMANDA WALLER. ]

I'm checking out all these imPort deaths lately. (Boy, I was hoping we'd have another few months before I'd have to say a sentence like that again.) Want me to keep you and the rest of Team Waller in the loop?
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
ENCRYPTED to the SPIDER-FAMILY.

Kids, get in touch as soon as you get this, all right? I need -- just let me know you're okay.

This also applies to all you self-designated non-kids.
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
Sent from PETER PARKER'S communicator, and ENCRYPTED to TONY STARK and MORDIN SOLUS.

Tony, a colleague and I need to pick your brain on something. Got a minute?

009 // Text

Jul. 8th, 2011 10:57 pm
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
ENCRYPTED to JESSICA DREW, MATT MURDOCK, MAY PARKER, REILLY TYNE.

Didn't hear from MJ yesterday, so I stopped by her apartment. Looks a bit neglected. Any of you heard from her recently?
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
As often as I get yoinked in and out of this place, you'd think I'd get Frequent Porter Miles. Sure, I'm not paying for the privilege of bouncing around the space/time continuum like a koosh ball on a string -- and here I brace myself for the inevitable, "What's a koosh ball?" questions -- but there's always SkyMall. I mean, who doesn't need a $200 water pitcher, am I right? Not to mention a towel spa, on sale for only $64.99!

So how many disasters did I miss?

LOCKED to the SPIDER-FAMILY.

Looks like I've been out of town for a while. Roll call?

Forward-dated to Friday, sent to AMANDA WALLER on Peter Parker's communicator.

Boss, it's Peter Parker, 'ported back in. Again. Belated congrats on the promotion! Erm. [The barest pause.] Still (re)hiring, by any chance?

[[OOC: Links are OOC, for your amusement.]]
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
Hey, Avengers! And affiliated heroes therein, I'm not exactly picky right now. Maybe I'm jumping the gun just an eensy, weensy bit, but what d'you guys say to a bit of Assemblage right about now?

[ Locked to SPIDER-FAMILY. ]

Check in as soon as you get this, please, and let me know where you are and if you need any help. If there's any chance you can stay at home for the foreseeable future, I'd go with that. I'm pretty sure these guys are just getting started.
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ The camera shows Peter standing outdoors. Behind and around him are rustic-looking stalls from which people are hawking their wares to the bustling crowd. Everyone in the background is wearing at least one item of vaguely Medieval/Renaissance-styled attire, but from what can be seen in frame, Peter's outfit is entirely contemporary. ]

Are you guys getting this? There's something wacky going on at the Renn Faire. It's like everyone's forgotten they're playing pretend. I know getting into character is part of the fun, but there's no way in heck that every single person at the Faire is that good an actor. Plus I've run into people I know, and ... [ He chews his lip thoughtfully. ] ... not only do they not recognize me, but it's like they're translating what I'm doing into something that fits a pseudo-Renaissance worldview.

Here, let me show you what I mean.

[ He turns, still holding up the communicator, and gestures towards one of the closer passers-by, a woman in simple but bright peasant's attire. ] 'Scuse me, ma'am, could you tell me what I'm holding in my hand?

[ Though seemingly puzzled by his request, she leans in to take a close look. A moment's pause and she smiles brightly, nodding at him approvingly. ] Oh, aye, that's one of them wizard's orbs for far-speaking! Better keep hold of that, good sir. Wizards' trifles can fetch a pretty penny, and there are pickpockets all 'round these parts!

[ After thanking the woman and letting her go on her way, Peter turns back to the camera. ] I've asked ten different people that question, and they've all given the exact same answer in slightly different words. Like I said, there's no way everyone here could rehearse that perfectly.

Any ideas for what's happening? Anyone else at the Faire, and as confused as I am? Come find me -- I'm doing circuits around the grounds.

[ OOC: Posted (and answered) from Peter's communicator, not Spidey's. Both magicked and non-magicked characters are welcome to respond! ]
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ Spider-Man's voice fades in and out as he talks, like he's not keeping his mouth quite as close to the communicator's mic as he should. The flapping noises, outraged squawks and frequent thwip-thwip of webshooters in action certainly aren't helping the audio quality any.]

Pop quiz for all you fine Network folks. Question one -- oof -- is my status as friendly interdimensional boomerang: (a) validation of my long-standing paranoia that -- oi! -- the multiverse really is out to get me? (b) the self-fulfilling prophecy of aforementioned paranoia? -- [ a thudding noise ] -- (c) because the Porter finds my misery tasty, like one of those peanut butter-filled puzzles you give to a -- Eat web, fluffball! -- to an unruly dog? or (d) all of the above?

[ A pause. More flaps, squawks, and thwips in the background. ]

Whoof. I think that's the last of this batch. Second question is long answer. Speaking of chewtoys, since when am I an extra in a Hitchcock movie? Someone fill me in here, I've been on a leave of absence for the past few days.

[ Another pause. When he starts talking again, he's speaking much more quickly. ]

Third question: did you know it's conjectured that there are seven million pigeons in this cit-- hold that thought, back in a jiffy.

[ The message cuts off abruptly. ]
incywincyhero: (Default)
[personal profile] incywincyhero
[ Look! Up on the screen! It's ... a youngish, nondescript white dude! Now how about that. ]

All right, I hate to live the cliché, but I've come to realize that while I'm here, for however long I'm here, I have ... responsibilities I need to live up to. Now, I'm not knocking temp work -- I know I'm lucky to have even that much going for me in this economy, as an imPort -- but it's not panning out into anything long-term, and long term is what I need.

[ He spreads his arms mock dramatically. ] And so I come to you, Cityzens, invisible hat in hand! Looking for any and all leads into paid employment of indefinite duration.

As far as the all-important yet completely unverifiable job experience goes, I've spent most of my adult life as a photographer working for a newspaper called The Daily Bugle, if that means anything. I got my Bachelor's in Physics at a university that doesn't exist here, and have a couple years of post-grad biochem work under my belt. I've taught science at both the high school and undergrad levels.

I can also juggle, knit, and work a sewing machine, but somehow I'm thinking those aren't quite as much in demand as far as job skills go. I hope not, anyway.

So there you have it, Network. Hit me!

[ He reaches out to turn off the communicator, then pauses and points at the screen. ]

And for those of you not familiar with 21st century American vernacular, that does not mean you should actually track me down and punch me.

[ OOC: Characters who know Spider-Man's civilian identity will notice that he's using a different communicator than he does as Spidey. ]

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