[video]

Jan. 5th, 2014 06:12 pm
notadartboard: (think and remember)
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[well, here's a sad sight. The ocean around the harbor where winter-sailors keep their ships has receded so much, due to apocalypse, that the boats are all just sort of laying in the mud. That includes the Dream of Blue, with its pirate flag hanging limp]

So much for trying to escape by sea.

This is all so odd to actually experience. The tides just stopping, the moon falling out of the sky. Never in all my years would I ever have thought...

[the video doesn't stop (even though he swore he hit the button) as Sanji sets his comm down, and then can be seen Sky Walking over to the mast of his ship to collect the flag. It's sentimental, dammit. He comes back, picks up the comm, and keeps talking while he walks away]

Ladies, I hope you're all still all right, wherever you are. If you want, I can come check on you, and bring you something to keep you nourished in case you need to evacuate too. Miss Nill, Miss Minako...Callie?

For the rest of you losers who aren't ladies, I have a pretty serious question. In all this chaos, has anybody gone to check on the Porter machine? It hasn't been ripped up and sucked into the sky like all the other tall buildings, has it? Because if it's destroyed and we're all stuck here for the rest of our damn lives...I swear I'll destroy what's let of this world.
notadartboard: (think and remember)
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[that's an odd video feed: a dark night sky and nothing else. But the stars. The stars. Not even the waxing moon can blot out the sight of billions of stars, a field more intense than most city-dwellers usually see. Then, one really bright one...no, that's actually the burning end of a cigarette]

Isn't it lovely? It feels like the middle of the ocean is still one of the last places in this world where you can see a sky like this.

I hope nothing tragic happened while I've been gone. Any more jaunts to new worlds lately? No? I also hope all my favorite ladies are doing well. I've discovered one very important thing out here: sailing alone is, unsurprisingly, very lonely. Pathetically so. So I'm on my way back and I'd love to go out with someone when I hit land. Any ladies looking for some company?

[there must be a reason for the emphasis on that word]

Alternately, if folks tuning in are looking for deep philosophical questions for the night, tell me about all the people you miss. Maybe someone from home, or someone you met here.
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[for a minute or so, Sanji just stares angrily at the comm, smoking like cigarettes are about to replace oxygen. So much for collecting himself before posting]

...shit.

Uh, right. I did this for a reason. Julian - and anybody else D.O.I. or whatever. Callie's gone. Again. [the frustration is tight in his tone] Flashed away right in front of me.

Start the countdown. I don't know what you guys need otherwise...

She better be back. If anyone needs me, I'll be at the pie place or on my boat.
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[indulgently posting from the deck of his ship, floating on the harbor as the city lights sparkle on the dark water in the background]

Well. Seeing as there was an article in the news today about a stolen historical ship being found abandoned off the coast of Spain, and seeing as he hasn't answered any of my calls, I'd venture to guess that this world is short one more pirate. If anyone had the fortune to cross paths with Red-haired Shanks in his brief visit here, sorry to say but it looks like he disappeared sometime while I was off in that other world. Shame, he could have really shaken things up around here.

Between that and our delightful visit [snort] to the watery world, I feel pretty lucky to have more than a taste of home to tide me over. It's been so long, I was starting to forget. Not anymore, though.

Those who spent any time with the pirates over there. What did you think? Better or worse than your romantic dreams of adventure?

[he grins; there's an ulterior motive for asking. He's still feeling smug and superior to the Tirisean pirates]
notadartboard: (swoon)
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[coming to you live! from the new apartment he shares with Callie. In other words, much swankier than his previous posts from the MAC]

Admittedly, I've been a little busy lately and it almost snuck up on me, but my favorite holiday is knocking on the door once again. Now, ever since I got yanked into this shitty world it's been somewhat obvious to me that a lot of guys really need lessons in how to treat a lady. What better opportunity to fix things than on Valentine's Day?

[strolling through the apartment while he addresses the comm]

Time for a quick lesson in pleasing your ladies before they kick your asses for forgetting or being a complete heel. Rule Number One: she always comes first. Some of you idiots are good about this, but the rest of you are selfish jackasses, so take the opportunity just once to try and do it right. What you want doesn't matter. Use your mouth - ask her what she wants. If she isn't sure or wants you to figure it out, then use your damn brain. If she's not the sort to like stuffed animals, buying her an ugly bear on Thursday isn't going to work. If you don't know whether she's allergic to roses, or is on a diet and can't have chocolates, or what have you, find out before the big day. Giving the wrong gift because you don't know your lady's tastes is more than just a faux pas.

Rule Number Two: if you screw up, apologize right away. Even if you're not sure what you did wrong. If she's pissed, it's due to something, and it's better to apologize now and figure it out later than to get into an argument on the spot and jeopardize your perfect evening.

That should get you started for Valentine's Day. Beyond that, you're on your own, unless you can bribe me to give you charm lessons. And I don't come cheap.

[as he passes through the kitchen, there's a glimpse of bottles of wine and red foil boxes on the counter]

I usually give out boxes of hand-made chocolates to my favorite ladies at this time of year, but I do have one special lady in particular to focus on, so I'm not sure I'll be able to spread the wealth out this year. Not to mention, I've lost track of several of them. The Porter seems to be nabbing them before anyone can even notice, lately. I tried sending a message to Miss Diana about chocolates and got no answer. That reminds me, has anyone seen those kids who were engaged and talking about a wedding?
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You know, I can't remember the exact day that first time around. I just know every time this holiday pops back up, it means it was sometime close to this. One of the first things I did when I got dumped into this place was help out at a soup kitchen because they were trying desperately to feed a bunch of hungry mouths on account of a holiday. I didn't hesitate picking up a spatula. [heh!] A nice old lady gave me a coat.

Third year in a row. Third time at that same soup kitchen. Three damn years in this shitty place.

'Course, I lived two of those years twice - here, and then back at home. Now I'm older, wiser, stronger...and people on the streets still can't get a good meal in their bellies unless it's a holiday.

Callie, darling, I hope you feel like going out for dinner. It's not that I'm tired of cooking, just that...well, you know. [he's actually smiling - what a way to pass an anniversary]
notadartboard: (youth - don't pat me on the head)
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NOT THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN!!


[small children swearing? Normal. Only Sanji is his 22-year-old self in his own ten-year-old skin. Awkward]

At least this time Usopp isn't around to take my kitchen knives away from me. [evil grin] Or my cigarettes.

Oi! If any of you kids don't know how to make food or anything, come to my apartment and I'll make sure you get something to eat. It's on the third floor of the MAC. I promise I'm really a chef and I'll make good food for you, in case you can't cook and don't have any money.
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[does this look familiar at all? It's like deja vu. Sanji addressing the camera with a little black Persian cat in one hand, holding it so it doesn't shed fur all over his dress shirt and tie]

Oi, Martin. Looks like you've got cat duty again. Little guy came snooping around, and sure enough, the monkey's been ported out again.

[cat, go down over there. Daddy needs a cigarette]

I get this funny feeling, he's not the only one. I know I was away for a while, but I had my comm device on me, so I could keep track if people were coming or going. But I haven't heard from Ms. Andromeda in ages. Or the glorious Lady Aphrodite. Or a few others. It's such a shame, you know? We can't all be social butterflies with lots of friends to notice when we disappear, I guess. But everybody's important to somebody. Even if it's just one person who'll miss them when they're gone. Not too long ago somebody said something about how much it sucks that we can't even tell a kidnapping from a port-out most days. I think I'm inclined to agree with that sentiment.

So, people. Who do you miss the most?
notadartboard: (thinking over a cigarette)
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Oi. It's pretty quiet, considering what just happened. What's the word? Somebody get that fat bastard? More importantly - are the hostages okay? I need to know. Miss Rapunzel, Miss Isabela, are you ladies all right?

[pause. Lighting a cigarette. Smoking. Tight control of emotion, for once]

I vaguely recall some time ago, people said things about their powers being different when they got here. I kind of want to talk to anyone who's been through that. Not for advice, or anything, I guess just to bitch about it. Damn Porter can't leave well enough alone. Oh well, it's not like I can't survive without it - I'll be fine. It's just the principle of the thing, having something that's a part of you taken away like that.

Boy, when this place goes to Hell, it doesn't go gently. I think part of me missed that. I didn't get too scuffed up, though, so anybody 'round the MAC who's too tired to get food, I'm cooking today.

[third floor of the MAC, there's an apartment with the door open and the scent of fabulous food coming out of it. Allcomers are welcome]
notadartboard: (hot shit)
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You know what's a great way to make sure you have the best sailing vacation ever?

[hi City! Follow the camera, it's pointing up at the Straw Hat flag at the top of the Dream of Blue's mast. One might note that in the background, one can see the Statue of Skrullerty. That's right, he and Callie are home]

...doing that flag proud.

I hope nobody missed me too badly. As long as nobody starved to death, I think we're fine. Ahh~ and a hello to all the lovely ladies whether you missed me or not. I brought back presents! Mostly to make up for missing all the good parties and birthdays that went on while we were down in the Caribbean. My dear Callie and I are safe and sound, we missed all the tropical storms and simply had a good time. I'll let her handle her own hellos, though.

Especially since I think I'll need to stop and get some groceries before I end up back at my flat. [GOKU.]
notadartboard: (shitty everything is shitty)
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[see Sanji. See Sanji puffing away on a cigarette, comm in one hand, a cat in the other.

...it's a very cute cat, mind you, but it's just sort of under his arm at the moment]

Dammit. I had a bad feeling about that.

Looks like the monkey - I mean Goku - is gone. His damn cat kept coming around to my door looking to be fed. I was going to come give him a piece of my mind for not feeding it but...

[pause. Furious smoking]

On the plus side, I have a surplus of food now. Anyone want to have a picnic at the MAC?

And somebody come take care of this thing. I hate cats.
notadartboard: (so not amused)
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Ugh...I hate making these kind of posts.

Unless this is the thrilling start to yet another round of Our Favorite People Get Kidnapped, Callie...my darling Miss Callie Maggotbone is gone. Somebody from the D.O.I. called me to see if she was blowing off work to spend the day with me, but I haven't seen her in a couple days.

So. [long sigh, the blowing of cigarette smoke]

It's no wonder we keep getting taken totally by surprise by 'bad guys' who like to kidnap, we're so used to writing off a disappearance as someone being teleported home, instead of actually missing. But I'm going to take the wait-and-see approach this time. Maybe she'll come wandering back this way sometime soon. I'll give it a week before I kick down any buildings, this time.

[a looong pause, weighty, like he's going to say something else, but then it clicks off]
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[Sanji probably looks a little more bedraggled than usual - shirt unbuttoned, smoking a slightly-crushed cigarette. He would have posted earlier but he's hungover~ ♥]

It's funny, how this place works. You show up, you pass your time, mark your anniversaries and all that. Then you go home and it's all erased, you're back where you started. You could very well be celebrating the same birthdays twice over.

Not me, somehow I got lucky. I lived the last two years of my life over a second time, but I still made it back on schedule for a regularly-timed birthday. Twenty-two today, isn't that something? I'm really starting to feel like I'm not some shitty little eggplant anymore.

My darling Callie helped me celebrate last night, though, so I'll pass on any offers for dinner or drinks tonight. There's a whole weekend ahead if anyone would like to do anything. As for me? I'm just going to have a sip of wine and a little snack and toast my own memories. You know? Share some if you have them, it could save your life. My memories were all I had to sustain me for two years in Hell...oh, not memories of this place, no. Completely disappeared from my mind. But now that I'm back I remember most of it. And all the people who've gone. [siiigh] Miss Maggie, so sweet and cute, good taste in books. She's gone, again. The Lady Ysera, who gave me my ship for my last birthday here. Haven't felt her presence in my dreams lately. The fine Lady Liadrin, one of the first to make this place worth living in. And Miss Dazzler and Warren. Good people. Real good people.

Life goes on, I suppose.

[he reaches out of screen to take his wineglass, raises it to the comm, and switches it off]
notadartboard: (swoon)
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This thing seems to be working all right, again. Just in time.

[he sets the comm down so it takes a wide shot of the table stacked with red boxes full of chocolates. Hand-made chocolate truffles, his tradition. Sanji himself wanders back and forth in the background as he talks]

I appreciate that the machine brought me back in time for this holiday, if it had to bring me back at all. It's my favorite. Took me a bit to remember but then it all came back to me. Link and Usopp and paper Valentines, the Lady Aphrodite in all her glory, and making deliveries of my special hand-made chocolate truffles to all my favorite ladies. Ah, what a wonderful time!

[deliberately leaning into the frame] This time is no different, even though it's been a couple years since I've done this. I've been through a lot, and the only way to show my appreciation for the ladies who didn't forget me and are so sweet to me, all the time, is to give every single one a gift. Of course, I had some issues trying to use this device to search back and find everyone and make a list, so I just made chocolates for everyone. All of you. Even if we never met before, I want to give you chocolates for Valentine's!

[beat] ...everyone of the female persuasion, I mean. Men, don't even bother.

Come by my place, third floor of the MAC, or else I can come to you. Just let me know when and where and I will personally deliver a small box of my best recipe - almond amaretto, citrus-mint, dark chocolate coffee, and white-chocolate raspberry. Each one lovingly hand-crafted by the prince of cooks, nestled in their own boxes and tied with gold ribbons. Nothing is too good for the beautiful women of this city who have always brightened my heart~!

[he sweeps up the comm and gives it one of his suave smirks]

My dear Callie, your gift is above and beyond. I didn't forget.

I know Lady Aphrodite isn't here anymore. Ah, some days I really miss her presence! But we can carry on and love without her. We shall have to. [mood change! Frowning now] ...and if any more of you guys feel like being jerks and hurting women, I'll be glad to give you a lesson in chivalry via my foot up your ass. Fair warning.
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[at first it's just voice, the start of a word followed by a hiss and the clatter of the comm being dropped. Faint, distant cursing, then it clicks off briefly. A few minutes later...]

[THAT is the face that suddenly comes on screen, having just lit that cigarette by the looks of it]

So it's this shitty world again, huh? Nobody mentioned the damn headache you get after being gone so long.

Uh. Shit. I'm sorry, it's been two years and some, so I'm going to be a little slow at catching up. The damn greeting's still the same, at least. Is anybody still...I mean, if there's anyone still here who remembers me from two years ago...er, hello? I know there were a lot of lovely ladies in this place and boy, most of you would be a sight for sore eyes right about now. Forgive me if I don't instantly remember names. The pounding headache is getting in my way, and most of what I remember is a blank compared to the Hell I've been in.

[he takes a drag and breathes out the smoke] ...at least it had better timing this go-around. But I was all excited to see the New World at last, not show up back here! Dammit.

[it clicks off as he's leaving the porter building, looking extremely thoughtful. There's something he's forgetting and he just knows it, but what?]

[ooc: sigh, forgive the lack of timeskipped icons. He looks dramatically different from what he used to, the info post is here on his canon-update. Let's play pretend he has a new icon set!]
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[he's set it up so anyone can see his well-stocked kitchen in the background. Sanji himself has his sleeves rolled up, though he doesn't appear to be cooking at the moment]

All right, since so many people had questions about food a couple weeks ago, and now even more questions are rolling in across this network thing, I figured I'd do you all a service. These holidays are a big time for food, I've noticed, and for folks who don't usually cook to take a crack at it. I'm all for this. But you need advice, so why not turn to the first-class chef right in your midst?

So, here I am. Ask me all your cooking questions. This is a one-time service, I don't usually do this, but... [a tiny moment of sober] ...since I'm not cooking any huge meals these days unless that damn brat busts down my door looking for meat buns, I have the time. You want to know where to find ingredients, what recipes are best, or even just what wine to pair with which dish, I can tell you.

...or you can hire me to cater your holiday parties, I'll take that too. Just no freezing me into a hotel again, or infected mistletoe, or whatever shit might go down this year.

[BIG STUPID GRIN TIME] Ladies~? If you want something particular for a gift, do let me know. Don't worry about telling me sizes, I'm pretty good at guessing.
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[the comm is set up to take a shot of the expanse of a dining table. Also Sanji's waist as he walks past a few times - check out that. Um. Chain on his belt. Yeah. That. No, now there's something else: bottles are being set on the table, one after the other. A short bottle of frosted glass with Japanese writing on the label, then a very typical-looking wine bottle with a Napa Valley label, followed by Dewar's whiskey, a single bottle of Guiness, and a dark-glass bottle at the end without much labeling on it. Sanji speaks from off-camera through the entire thing]

Among the other ridiculous things people around here seem to believe about pirates, the one where all we drink is a lot of rum is at least not that offensive. Stupid, but not the worst. I happen to be a connoisseur of all kinds of alcohol and serve most of them onboard the ship. Zoro tends to prefer sake [he picks up the first bottle and wags it] even though he'll drink anything I've got on hand. This pinot noir reminds me very much of the native wines of East Blue I used to serve at the restaurant. We've also been known to enjoy whiskey, beer, and...well, all right, a little rum from time to time. [he passes his hands over the other bottles in turn. Visual aids!]

We drink for perfectly good reasons, too, not just to become drunken sots. You ever been on a heavy sea while drunk? It's not pleasant. I don't know why people think it's how pirates are, I can't think of anybody who'd choose to make their seasickness worse. No, we usually have a good reason for it. We drink with dinner, we drink to celebrate. We toast new crewmates, we seal promises...we drink to the dead. It's even used in important parley negotiations, I've heard. All very good, very natural reasons.

[a pause, and then the hand comes down on the bottle of whiskey and drags it away] And then there are those other reasons to get drunk.

[the other hand reaches to shut off the camera]
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[Sanji's looking pretty beat up, no coat, shirt shredded, blood on his face, but he's still standing. Only the cigarette in his mouth is remotely clean]

Oi.

If anybody's still alive and hungry. [pause for smoking] I'm breaking down the door of a restaurant downtown. One of those Asian places with the gas-powered grill that'll still work. If you need to eat, I'll be there cooking for a few hours.

Patch your asses up and come get some food before you fall over.

[he pulls the camera back just long enough to show the sign on the building before he hauls back and kicks the door open. He's dead serious...but that wince means the act of kicking was painful for him]

...if any police types want to get on my case about it, do it after you've had something to eat.

Looks like the world didn't end after all. Not bad.
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What do you say to someone who shows up here even though you know they're dead back home?

[abrupt question is abrupt, sorry]

'How's it going?' seems like an asshole-ish question in that situation. But you have to say something, it's only polite. Especially if they're going to be hanging around for who knows how long in this place. Eh, not that it matters anymore. At least he got a few extra weeks. Some good food and good rum, and a little time with his brother that he didn't get before.

[a pause for a deep, indulgent drag off a cigarette. There's more than one of those in this post]

Speaking of the formerly dead...Doc McCoy. I've got a question or two about the school.

Oh. I got the weirdest phone call earlier today. Seems one of the former cooks from All That Jazz passed my name along to some producer or something from the cooking TV channel. Anybody know anything about appearing on television? I'm debating whether to say yes...I don't really give two shits about proving my cooking skills to anyone but at the rate Luffy goes through food, I might be able to use the money.
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Phew! Damn rain slowing me down right in the last hundred miles.

[have a Sanji! Walking, though, and briskly. That means he's on land. He has the comm in one hand to address it while he walks, the other is carrying a stuffed bag over his shoulder that faintly clinks now and then]

I promised a lot of people I would let them know when I got back, and here I am. Came ashore less than an hour ago and had to batten down the Dream of Blue for a nice nap first, but I'm on my way back to my place. Who's looking for lunch already?

Miss Robin, I'll be there as quick as I can. I live on the third floor, come down and see me! Miss Lua, I haven't forgotten - if you want, I can stop by as soon as I'm sure Robin is okay. Miss Jessica, you'd better be staying out of trouble. Ace, where the hell are you? Ah, and Miss Callie...

[tryyying not to grin like a naughty, naughty boy]

...I'm glad I didn't make any promises I would have to break. But tonight, once everyone's been fed and taken care of. I'd suggest dinner first but something tells me that's not a priority.

[beaming for other reasons now] Oh! And I have presents~! Rum for Miss Angelica, beautiful seashells for the ladies who asked for one, and a few other things. It's been a hell of an adventure, believe it or not. Hurricanes and warlords stealing cyber-keys and...oh, and this. [give him a second to pause his journey and rummage through his bag until he comes up with a piece of paper. It's mostly in Spanish but the photo of him is pretty clear, as is the dollar amount across the bottom: $150,000 US] My last day in Curacao, I saw this being tacked up. Looks like somebody didn't like my act of self-defense. [grinning so hard you don't even know] It's a piddling amount compared to my bounty back home, but a bounty's a bounty.

Beat that!
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[so he's got a small cut on his jaw and blood on his shoulder, but Sanji's all business as he addresses his comm. He's on the deck of his ship but it's anchored alongside a much much larger yacht that appears unmanned. In his other hand? A Cyber Key fragment]

So, uh. I figured this would be the place to ask, since there are people who have probably seen things like this before back in the City. It looks sort of cyborg-robot-like. Any cyborg-robots missing a piece of themselves?

If not, well...I found something pretty damn interesting. Or, well, I suppose technically the gentlemen who own this ship [head-bob toward the yacht] found it, but it really doesn't look like something that ought to belong to them. I've got it, now, safe and sound. If nobody pipes up with important information, I'll just be hanging onto it for the time being.

Now here's hoping whatever this weird thing does, it doesn't knock out my navigation. I sailed pretty far off course to get it. [smiiiirk] Totally worth it.



[ooc: there's a solo log of how this came to be here if anyone is curious. No, he didn't look at his comm at all today. Mindy lemme know if anything is off in any way!]
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Is it finally...? There!

[zoom out on a slightly ruffled and very casually-dressed Sanji. Like, t-shirt and board shorts casual]

Ah, sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but I had a hell of a time getting a signal out this morning. I just wanted to let certain very important~ people know that I'm safe. As is the Dream of Blue, she came through fine. Only took on a little water, that's it.

[sigh]

I finally get to set sail and there's a hurricane right where I'm headed. My luck sucks.

[and that's it. CLICK. No wait! addendum a moment later, with sheepish!face]

Oh, right, I did forget one thing before I left. Er, one of the apartments connected to mine...might have some plants in it that need looking after. Or disposing of, before the oversized bok choy that likes to eat fair ladies finds them and adopts them as his kids.

...they're not very nice plants. Just to warn you.
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[no, not the ship - his apartment in the MAC. It's unusually clean - cleaner than it's been since probably November. Only the hole in the wall visible over his left shoulder exists as any indication anyone else ever lived there]

Never thought the announcement would come out this way. Oh well, here goes.

Two, three months behind schedule, maybe, but we intended to set sail with the ship Lady Ysera gave me, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to keep that plan even though it's just me now. Miss Jessica was right, when she said the other night that Luffy was gone. Chopper and Brook too, so I'll be sailing alone. I...think Luffy promised crew positions to others, but without him as captain it wouldn't be right. Unless you really want to go along...I'll be gone for a few months, I think.

[a pause for a drag on his cigarette]

At least a month. Probably more. I've been doing some reading on this world's history, and you really did have pirates, once. A lot of them sailed in the Caribbean Sea, so I think I'll head there and find out what's so great about it. Luffy would have loved exploring this mystery Triangle, but I guess it's not up to him anymore. I gave it a few days, to see if it was one of those out-and-in situations like what happened to me, but...I don't think they're coming back, this time.

[mustering up a more cheerful, charming smile] In the meantime, all of my favorite ladies, take care of yourselves since I won't be here to take care of you. Miss Maggie, be sure to make yourself lunch once in a while. Miss Jessica, Miss Rapunzel, Miss Giselle, please stay safe. Miss Rikku, I'm sure you'll be fine with rockface back. Lady Ysera, my eternal thanks to you for the Dream of Blue, she handles beautifully and I can sail her by myself. Lady Aphrodite, I will find you the biggest pearl I can as an offering for all you've done for me. All the others I've met and had the pleasure to speak with, don't worry, I'll still be in contact. Do take care. Ah, and my dear Callie...

[trailing off because lol what do you say, there?]

...I'll be back.

I'll still have this device, so I can keep in contact. Here's hoping nothing dreadful happens while I'm away. If anyone with the right powers wants to join me~ say, in the Bahamas? Drop on by. I'll come back when I feel like it, and I'll be stronger. That's a promise. The Dream of Blue will raise sail in the morning, so tonight I say goodbye.

[a wave, and then click]
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[see Sanji sit on a curb, soaking wet from the rain he's been under for the last, oh, hour. His cigarette just sort of hangs out of his lips, no longer lit, and his grocery bag got wet and busted and now there's groceries all over the sidewalk. It's like a drunk post only not, thanks to the Brides and their fog of misery]

I know I'm late for dinner. I was on my way back but I'm just...tired. I'm so tired. There's zombies around and I just don't feel like fighting them. I mean, they're women, so I can't fight them anyway, but I just can't bring myself to even lift a foot. What's the point?

Stupid zombies. They're all over the place. Why zombies, again? It's always zombies. I hate zombies. [all of this is just mumbled, there's none of his typical passion in it] They should've killed me on Thriller Bark. But nooo...I'm stuck here, now. I'm never going to get home to see the mermaids. I'm never going to see my beloved darling Nami ever again. I should just give up...

[his hand covers the camera. In the background there's definitely a rising swell of heavy metal music - the Brides and the rest of Ophelia's troops are on their way toward him]


(ooc: if you want to harass him in person, it's here!))
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[it's a video to show off the ship again, though the sails are furled at the moment - anyone can still see the pirate flag with the Straw Hat Pirates' emblem at the top of the mast, though. Sanji is....not in a suit?! Nope, he's wearing a t-shirt and board shorts]

So. Miss Rapunzel gave me a brilliant idea.

[he hops down from the top of the sailboat to the deck - sorry about that jiggly video]

As much as I wanted her maiden voyage to be when we finally set off to explore the oceans, it occurs to me that it might be wiser to make a few practice jaunts. Day-trips, out past the islands, so I can get a feel for the handling of this ship. Without a real navigator...

[pause. Sadness. But he banishes it pretty quick]

Anyway. There's no reason to sail alone! If anyone wants to take a day-trip with me out onto the open ocean and back, come on by the harbor and look for the flag. [point] She still doesn't have a name, but we'll christen her when we're ready to take off. I already promised Miss Rapunzel~ a trip. This weekend, Miss Rapunzel? Any other takers? It'd be a hell of a way to cool off from this damn heat. We just have to be back by dinnertime every day. I have a crew to feed.


[ooc: he's actually been with the boat pretty much every day since Zoro left, between mealtimes. I may ask to handwave trips because I'm very busy but if anyone really wants to log with him, just ask!]
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[the camera is focused on a little corner scrap of paper on a table, which is doing exactly what little scraps of paper ought to do - just sit there. With the name "Rayleigh" neatly written across it. However, certain people ought to know that this particular scrap of paper is behaving very oddly for a scrap of paper]

I was afraid of that. Luffy. Looks like I was right. I'm sorry.

Everybody ought to have one of these. It's a great way of knowing for certain that someone's been teleported home.

[he swings the video to him - may as well]

Miss Rapunzel, and all the other beautiful ladies I've been watching out for? I hope you're all doing well. Let me know if you need anything and I'll be at your side in an instant. At least until we sail, which I hope will be soon. It better be... Though we still have to settle on a name for the ship. I can't decide.

Oh. Guys - you lot of idiots. If I have Miss Sally over for dinner I want all of you on your best damn behavior. That includes you, moss-for-brains. She's a very good friend and I want her treated well around my friends.

[crisp nod, end feed]
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Er. I know these sorts of messages can be annoying, but has anyone seen Miss Rapunzel today? I came upstairs to bring her some recipes but...well. I've had more than my share of people teleported home on me so I know the signs - communicator laying around, nothing disturbed, and so on. But then I found this little guy.

[he totally holds up a panicked-looking Pascal into the camera's view]

Miss Rapunzel wouldn't leave her pet behind if she was ported home, would she? I've never had anyone around with a pet so I wouldn't know.

I know the machine has been on a rampage yanking people out of here left and right...but then we got a rush of replacements. So I'm not sure what to think.
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[it clicks on to show Sanji's face, drawn and thoughtful. The fact that his hair is longer and his goatee thicker these days is really obvious in the sunset light. He just gazes into the camera and smokes for a minute at least before he slides the comm to one side to film the sailboat behind him, over his shoulder.

It's a decent-sized sailboat, all freshly remodeled, and the unfurled sail bears a skillfully-painted skull logo looking rather like this. A black flag with the same design is at the top of the mast]


He didn't tell me it was finished. He did a good job.

[pause for smoking. The sails in the sunset look almost blood-red, don't they?]

Luffy. We ought to go soon. Before either of us is gone, too.

Before we go though. City-people, heroes, what have you... [Sanji looks back into the camera] ...we need a name for our ship. It's nowhere near the size and majesty of the Thousand Sunny or even Going Merry, but it still has to have a name before we sail it.
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[if he looks like he's been on a bender, he has - last night he was out late with girls he knew from the club. But that's not what he's here to talk about]

Two in a week. Again.

That's it, City. I'm done with you.

I'm sure it'll come to a great relief to some that the damn idiot marimo-headed swordsman is gone. Vanished right in front of me. The machine took Chopper, too, earlier in the week, but I was too young and stupid at the time to mention it.

But that pretty much does it for me. I'm done with this damn city and its shenanigans. I'm done waiting around here for it to be my turn. As soon as our ship's mast has been repaired, I'm going out to sea, and I don't care who goes with me. This shitty world has screwed me around enough, it's time I took a little something back from it.

[sigh...and time for a fresh cigarette on-camera]

Luffy, Usopp...you'd better not abandon me again. I'm liable to snap if I lose the crew before we can sail.
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[mini!Sanji is actually...sitting on the edge of the MAC's pool! With his feet in the water, just because he can (he found it earlier today). And pouting like the nine-year-old he is]

I hate this. I really hate this. I know this isn't right, I remember being...bigger. I remember the Grand Line, sort of. I used to know how to fight! I know that much. But now I can't! I can't even cook for my friends because I'm too short and my hands are too small and I already cut myself once. [he sticks up a thumb wrapped in bandaids]

And Zoro's a big jerkface and Usopp keeps laughing at me and I don't know what to do. I hate it! Even though there's nobody in the stores to stop me they won't let me get cigarettes! They're being so mean to me. I don't know what to do if I can't cook...I suppose I could read books but I don't like any of the ones I have. I want new ones. Story books, with fairy princesses in them and stuff!

[super sadfais pout into the camera] ...am I going to have to stay like this? Do I have to grow up all over again? I can't...I can't! When we go back to the Grand Line I'm going to be too small and they'll kick me off the ship and...

[no, no, man up, Sanji. He thinks of something and then briefly grins] ...but then Zoro will be an old fogey next to me. Heh, that isn't so bad.

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