permavid; only registered name on the comm is "spider-man"

[remake]

[ The video is up-side down. It's hard to tell, because the guy in the video is also up-side down, sticking to the shiny, windowed side of an office building by his hand and feet. He looks distinctly spider-man themed, but the design is different and so is the voice. He sounds awful young. ]

Okay. Okay. I'm not freaking out but- [ A pause for some quick, audibly shallow breaths. ] -uh. I might be freaking out? Uh. There's- there's someone else living where my house is supposed to be which is really not cool, and I can't figure out what happened to the Triskelion. I'd like to help y'all out but.

If I had- uh, I don't know, directions maybe I could... knock on the door and get you some r-real- some better heroes. I kind of know Nick Fury? Sort of.

And it sounds like you need that. I-I mean, I can stop muggers and stuff, and I guess like The Ringer and Kangaroo (I'm so not making that up, there's a dude that calls himself "Kangaroo"), but this whole-- this whole alternate dimension thing is way over my head and-

[ Hitched breathing. ] And I'm still... working on it.

Comments

[elongates]

She can't tell you what to do. You're your own boy.

[ long. pause. ]

Sorry. Man.

[remake]

[ s-staring ] I-- I don't know what happened.

But she's on the Ultimates and stuff.

[elongates]

[ ffffuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ]

They'll really take anyone these days, huh?

[remake]

I guess. Why do you guys hate each other?

[elongates]

I don't hate her. Does it look like I hate her?

[remake]

Uh-- yeah. A lot.

[elongates]

I don't hate people. Enlightened people don't hate people.

Seriously, take my advice: Don't hate.

[remake]

[ rofl yeah it takes miles a second to process that
REED RICHARDS WHY ]

I'll... try?

[elongates]

Also.

Don't be in the same square mile as the Hulk. I think that's a lesson better taught than learned.

[remake]

He- he said he was from a different Universe. That he wasn't going to do the things the re- er, the o-other Bruce Banner... did.

[elongates]

Would a creature called the Hulk be calm and considerate in any universe?

You would believe he would be fitting to the namesake, at the very least.

[remake]

I-- I guess not, no.

[elongates]

There you go.

Bruce Banner might be believable, but the Hulk doesn't change.

gently threadjacks???

[hulk]

...Uh. Excuse me.

unsures........

[elongates]

Bruce.

[ so casually!! ]

He's young. I'm only making sure he takes proper precautions.

>T

[hulk]

Richards.

[ Um not casually!! ]

I'm taking the proper precautions. I know it's hard to believe I'd be that calm and considerate, but.

:|

[elongates]

I appreciate that. But I think it's for the best that you avoid the meeker and weaker of us.

[ yeah he said it!! ]

You're not your savage form until you actually are.

don't make that face at me!!

[hulk]

Really? I-I hadn't thought about that. At all. Wow. Thanks for that. Don't know what I would have done without that advice, j- Thanks.

[ rude ]

:/

[elongates]

You're welcome.

SIGH REED

[hulk]

...S- Guess you're not as smart as all that, can't figure out sarcasm when it's aimed at you.

:\\

[elongates]

I'm sorry you can't understand me brushing off your whining.

Oh, well. Nobody can blame Bruce Banner for missing social cues.

[hulk]

[ ...He'd say something but that's. Really more than kind of true. DAMMIT REED. ]

Whatever, l- I'm not about to go and look this kid up. And you don't have to go around, warning people about me. Th- Just don't.

[elongates]

Fair enough.

I'll just let them inevitably get squished by you when someone cuts in front of you in a line.

WOW REED, RUDE

[remake]

[ LMFAO KINDA OFFENDED OVER HERE ]

Uh, I can- I can pick up semi-trucks. So... you know.

[elongates]

Great. That's wonderful.

[ condescendingly!! ]

Good for you.