capeandcowl | eight □ video. joint.

[ The video opens on a sub-basement laboratory of the Xavier Institute. There stands who else but...Sydney Greenstreet? He gives the audience a small, knowing smile as he stands there in his rotundity in a black suit, holding a cigar. ]

Mm hmm hmm. I distrust a man whose trust for other men is determined more by his trusts than his distrusts. There is no trust without discretion, and in that scrutiny we develop the distrusts that determine our interactions with the world at large. I do like a man who tells you upfront that he distrusts you, saves the time of founding a trust that only disguises the true distrust present.

[ Once he's done he gives his audience a very stern look that holds for all of five seconds before it starts to crack, erupting into a hearty laugh. When he continues, his voice is different, now a rich, purring baritone that may sound familiar. ]

I'd like to present to you the X-Club's latest invention, a new take on an old classic... [ He fusses with something on his wrist, and his black suit turns with with a small red fez on his head that's more Casablanca than Maltese Falcon, until finally the illusion dissipates to reveal the slightly hunched form of Hank McCoy. ] ...the image inducer!

[ Hank straightens himself to his proper height, and the camera pans out to accommodate, now including Madison Jeffries in the picture to his left. ] This baby brings back memories. It works by projecting a hologram over its wearer, allowing them to appear however they like, and voice modulation to complete the disguise. Back in the day, those of us whose mutations were more visibly apparent used to use these to facilitate our free movement through society. These days, it doesn't really come up as often.

[ Madison cuts in, fiddling with something behind his back -- his hair looking a little off, pulled away from his face. ]

We still reckon it’s a highly utilitarian tool that might come in handy for imPortkind, if we iron out the kinks. Uh. We got a handful of secondary and tertiary projects bein’ worked on; most a’ them are distraction-like. "Distraction-like" only in that we have other primary projects, but they all have their applications. No matter how seemingly frivolous.

Actually! [ Hank nudges Madison with his elbow with an excited grin. ] Why don't we show them that other one we finished yesterday?

Aaah. [ For a second, Madison looks rather uncomfortable -- mortified, mostly. ] We don’t gotta show them everythin’. [ Hank spreads his arms, his smile growing wider. ] Ohhh, none of that now! There's no need to be shy.

[ Madison throws him a mildly despairing look, then reaches behind his head to pull off what appears to be a rubber band; his hair falling down in a rather luxurious, white-streaked wave. Hank beams. ]

He’s buyin’ me a haircut later. Entirely worth it. [ Madison sighs, blowing a loose strand away from his face. Vaguely, with a wave: ] It’s a, uh. Hair thing. T’sall. Enzymatic overdrive a’ follicular cells, yadda yadda. Whatever. Guaranteed to give you hair like Ka-Zar overnight! [ Hank says it with a wink. ]

Anyhoo, we’re on the tail end a’ publishin’ the results a’ the headline project, but if y’wanna donate a hint a’ tissue for the sciences... it’d be much obliged, yeah? There were some concerns last time it came up that I wasn't... [ In the mood to deal with. ] ...available to answer, that we'd like to be more upfront with now. What we're looking for for is proof of physiological connections between imPorts that are absent in the native populace, so obviously we'll need a reasonably sized sampling pool of imPort volunteers.

So, y’know, with that lil’ hint a’ clarity -- please? We got cash, alright?

[ They both give big, slightly desperate smiles for the camera before the feed cuts. ]

red is madison, blue is hank

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There's a more missing in that sentence. Really, I think I've got enough to share already! Maybe we could spread it to the other patrons.

I'm sure the indie punk rock kids would go for it. Wait, is punk rock still a thing?

And how badly did I date myself even asking that question?

It would probably be worse against someone with even a passing familiarity with indie punk rock. Luckily, you're talking to me instead. I don't hear the students go one about that nearly as much as, say, Carly Rae Jepsen.

[Does this mean Hank has done his research on Call Me Maybe? The dude has got to stay relatable, he pays far too much attention to Top 40.]

Aaaaand earwormed. Thanks for that, pal.

Hey, I didn't even hum the tune! You can't blame me for that.

But where would the fun be in not blaming you?

I'm sure we could find it if we dug deep enough. Or should we be climbing above it? I'm sure we could find a waterspout around here somewhere.

Or maybe the point of this conversation. Seriously, what were we talking about again?

I think we'd begun with Fabio and just wandered off from there.

So, Spidey! Not much for volunteering, then?

Yeah, sorry, Hank... I'm not big on the whole "donating genetic material" thing. I mean, it's not that I don't trust you--

Just that the mask stays on at all times? You know, sometimes I wonder what kind of life you do get up to, so caught up in the secret identity issue that you probably don't even browse the Network when you're in whatever normal life you're leading.

Edited 2013-02-20 00:04 (UTC)

I, uh, have to plead the fifth there. But I like to keep my two lives separate. It's just safer for everyone, even here.

I'm not going to judge anyone for keeping their secrets, I guess I've just never understood the impulse myself.

I think I already put my webbed foot in my mouth talking about this with your buddy-slash-research-partner, actually.

Oh, don't mind him! But I guess it does raise the question of how many people your identity might endanger have followed you to the City.

... It's a little more complicated than just that.

And how's that?

Well, think about it. Who do you know who lives in the City right now and would have a vested interested in knowing who I am?

Okay, fair point, but...not everyone is the Green Goblin, either.

One of him's enough.

[Plus there's also Electro ... though ol' Maxie hardly scales in comparison.]

Granted, though I have to wonder what that says about the rest of us.

Huh? I don't quite follow.

You wear a mask to hide from one man, and I guess your average mugger, but that's beside the point. Where do the rest of us fit in with that?

I mean, the two of us are teammates, aren't we? I know I certainly have no reason to blab your secrets to him.

Beast -- Hank. It's -- it's not that I don't trust you. But you're an X-Man, I mean, you get things like -- well, like mind reading, mind control, good old-fashioned surveillance... torture.

[He's a bit tight-lipped at the last point. Does Spidey know about that? It would be odd to be so hesitant to say it while discussing Osborn otherwise. Maybe it isn't about him at all, it could be something more personal to the Webhead, of course. Stop being so paranoid, Hank.]

Mind reading means I've worked with some of the most powerful psychics in the multiverse. I'm not without training there.

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