mocks: (pic#6483559)
[personal profile] mocks
Time for a non-scientific survey, folks.
What was happening in the City when you first ported in? I'm talking major current events, not just neighborhood gossip (though I definitely won't turn down a piece of juicy hearsay!)
I'll start. I arrived less than a month after the destruction of the HIVE. You remember them, right? Or at the very least you've heard about the military's firebombing of Los Angeles three years ago. Those 24/hr news shows couldn't get enough of that footage.
Basically it was kind of a big deal. It's still kind of a big deal.
So, gang, what was the big terrifying news story when you arrived in this universe?
mocks: (pic#6277636)
[personal profile] mocks
Now don't get me wrong, kids, I'm not there, so I can't say for sure what y'all are experiencing, but is suicide really a better option than waiting for Lachesis to catch up with her sister? By my count, it usually takes her under a week to bring everyone back. What the hell is going on over there that is making death seem like the more valid option?


Statrep. Where the hell are you and why the hell can't I get ahold of Julian?
mocks: (avenging lol)
[personal profile] mocks
I don't know about the rest of you, but I just love the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. Everything still looks so beautiful with the holiday lights up and the snow all around, but everyone seems to have relaxed by about two hundred percent. The craziness of the holiday shopping season is finally over and now we can all sit back and start planning all the ways we're going to drunkenly ring in the new year. I was thinking I'd throw a little party again, like I did a couple years back to ring in 2011, though maybe not quite as fancy as all that. It'd be a come as you are type affair, with nachos and guacamole and fun hats that say 2013 on 'em.

RSVP if you're interested. Or don't, it's up to you. I'll have enough to share if you wanna swing by the Mansion on the 31st.

[Encrypted to Nick Fury's "Alan Smithee" communicator:]

All's quiet on the Vulcanus front, far as I can tell. This can't be a good sign, Nick.

[Encrypted to Wonder Woman:]

I'm sorry to bother you, hon, but when you have a minute, I'd love to talk to you about Max Lord.
mocks: (pic#4143671)
[personal profile] mocks
Alrighty, I think it's been plenty long enough to call this one officially. It sound appear that my favorite handsome young cat-men, Ggio Vega and Tom Bronson, have both been Ported out. Sorry to those who knew them. Let's hope they've both found something happy waiting for them back home, shall we?

I'm not sure who all is left caring for Tom's bar anymore. Someone'll probably want to look into that, I guess.

[Private to Clint Barton]
The Mansion is starting to feel very quiet, don't you think?

[Private to Max Lord]
Just checking in, Boss Man. What's the word from Argentina?

[Private to Nick Fury]
How's operation steal-a-communicator going?
mocks: (pic#3386874)
[personal profile] mocks
[The feed cuts in mid-broadcast with dashing news anchor Bart Clinton reporting live from outside the Avengers Mansion.]

-- Argentine press has reported that two imPorts were caught on surveillance quote "mounting a hostile invasion into Argentine territory". The imPorts in question were identified as Barbara Morse and Pietro Maximoff, both known widely as members of the imPort superhero team The Avengers, Mockingbird and Quicksilver. Argentine officials claim that the pair were picked up by surveillance cameras outside of La Casa Rosada in Buenos Aires.

Earlier this evening, I was able to speak to Dr. Morse and Mr. Maximoff regarding these allegations.

[Roll footage of Pietro and Bobbi outside the Mansion from earlier this evening. It would appear that the pair were attempting to enter through the front gate when the reporter and cameraman catch up to them.]

Dr. Morse! Mr. Maximoff! What do you have to say about the allegations that you were in Argentina this morning?

[Bobbi looks surprisingly unfazed by this, giving the camera a brief but charming smile. Pietro looks annoyed as ever.]

Oh, that. . . See, what had happened was, my buddy and I decided to take a little trip down to Rio, to take in the sights and sounds and flavors and whatnot, and he overshot the landing just a smidge. Totally unintentional, and you can imagine our shock when we came to a full stop and realized the people around us were speaking Spanish, not Portuguese. [She gives an airy laugh.] Our bad! No harm meant!

And what of the allegations that you and Mr. Maximoff were engaged in acts of espionage during your accidental trip into Argentine territory?

That is just utter nonsense! All I wanted was authentic Bobó de camarão! This was an honest mistake, a navigational error and nothing more.

You do realize that this is a violation of the ImBargo Act, a law prohibiting imPorts from entering Argentina's borders.

Our lawyer would probably advise us not to answer that, hon.

[Bart thrusts the microphone into Pietro's scowling face.]

And your response to President Agata Alvarez's earlier statements regarding your links to terrorist organizations in your world? She's implied that you, sir, are a threat to Argentina's national security!

The idea that I have any interest in performing acts of terrorism against Argentina, of all places, are as ridiculous as they are ludacris. I have worked for the entirety of my adult life to rid myself of that-- [Bobbi cuts him off from what is guaranteed to be a long and impassioned speech.]

I really have apologize for him, Bart. Pietro's English is not so good. Hahaha.

[Pietro raises a hand to his temple, feigning a headache.]

Oh, Bobbi Morse, do shut up.

[The scene ends before Pietro's entire sentence can be uttered, and it's back to the live scene of Bart Clinton again.]

As you saw, Morse and Maximoff claim this was simply a case of accidental tourism. Argentina claims otherwise. A formal response from the government is expected later this week. This has been Bart Clinton, reporting live from the Avengers Mansion.

[ooc: Blue is Bobbi, green is Pietro.]
mocks: (seriously depressing)
[personal profile] mocks
Right. So I've triple checked, and it looks like Carol Danvers has for sure been ported out.

[A pause, then sadly:]

Clint Barton, too.

[She's quiet for an awkward ten seconds or so. This just isn't her night.]

Can I get an Avengers head count, y'all? Everyone else, check if with me, would you?
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[Bobbi's voice is tight, as emotionless as she can make it.]

It looks Ggio Vega's been ported out. I've searched for hours, he hasn't turned up.

[She inhales sharply.]

Welp. I guess that's that. Sorry to break it to you like this, Tom.

[The feed cuts out abruptly.]
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[personal profile] superspeeds
[The video feed pops on to show a countertop. On it, a woman is making a list with a notepad and ballpoint pen.]

Let's see, we'll probably need two turkeys.

So that we can all black out from the tryptophan and hopefully forget this disaster.

Quiet, you. Two turkeys... Babe, do you want to make your own sauce, or should I have him buy some?

I'd rather make it.

Gotcha! So then we need ketchup, worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, cider vinegar, I think we have chili powder, some onions, we have garlic. Oh god, am I forgetting anything?

Anything at all of nutritional value. I'll be acquiring tofurkey if I'm to be involved with this.

You're such a brat. Tofurkey on Thanksgiving?

Tofu is an excellent source of protein and I won't suffer the same lethargy as you lot, or feel compelled to gorge myself.

I really don't want to barbecue tofu, Pietro. It just seems wrong.

Yep, you heard him, wrong. Moving on, I'll need three avocados and some limes, too.

Avocados for Thanksgiving dinner, indeed.

Clearly you've never been to Thanksgiving on the West Coast... Hey is your communicator on?

Bloody hell.

... We'll probably want tequila, too.

[And with that, the feed cuts. Bobbi is blue, Pietro is green, and Clint is purple.]
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
Did everyone survive in one piece?  Any casualties to report?
teaser: (glasses glam)
[personal profile] teaser
[It's just past 2am and a certain Avenger was walking home from having drinks with the Pro. Except she's no longer thirty-six, she's fourteen. So instead of going home to bed, she's wandering around near the Avengers Mansion, obviously impressed by her surroundings. Yes, that geeky brunette with the glasses is Bobbi Morse. If you squint, you should be able to recognize her.]

Unbelievable! This can't be real!

[She pauses, admiring the front gate of the Mansion for a moment before turning back to the communicator.]

I'll tell you one thing, we sure as hell don't have houses like this in Rome. Where am I? Is this New York?

[A pause.]

Is there anyone listening to this? Hello?
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
Out of curiosity, how many different sentient species are now inhabiting the City? If you're not a human by birth, what is your species? Similarly, if you don't consider Earth your home, what is your home world like?
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[The Saturday matinee showing of On A Clear Day You Can See Forever is interrupted by a stern reporter at the news desk.]

The streets have been the scene of rioting and violence yet again today, with brothers fighting brothers and friends fighting friends, all due to the so-called "hate gas" that's been unleashed upon the City. But thanks to imPort superhero team, The Avengers, the end may very well be in sight.

Bart Clinton joins us from the Avengers Mansion with the details of this alleged cure. Bart?

[And here's Bart Clinton's flawless sun-tanned face and veneered teeth, cheesing it up for the camera from his post in front of the Avengers Mansion. Beside him are Hank McCoy and Bobbi Morse, and visible on the roof of the Mansion is an out of place looking machine.]

Good evening, Randy. I'm joined here by Avengers members Beast and Mockingbird, who claim they've developed a counteragent to the "hate gas" that's been ravaging our fair City. If you don't mind, would you explain to us what exactly the hate gas is and how you were able to develop an antidote for it?

The hate gas is a variant of a type of nerve gas that causes irrational hostility, fear, and anger in those exposed to it.

Beast and I used our backgrounds in science and medicine to analyze samples of the gas, along with provided samples from individuals affected by the gas to isolate the chemical agents in the gas and create a counteragent. We were greatly helped in this task by fellow imPort, the Blue Beetle, and we would like to extend our gratitude to him for his assistance.

And how is the counteragent being distributed throughout the City?

We've had our teammates construct a machine to distribute the counteragent into the air.

And how exactly does this distribution device work?

If you'll direct your attention to the vanes on the side of the pump, those connect to three tanks kept within the mansion, full of our counteragent. As that is being pumped out, it seeks out the hate gas in the air and the bloodstream of infected Cityzens and filters it out. Then that inert gas is pumped back into the machine's powerful ventilation system where it can be properly disposed of.

Fascinating stuff! So what's sort of time frame are we looking at? When can we expect things to get back to normal around here?

Normal is an interesting word to pick, Bart. In this particular instance the machine has been operational since yesterday evening and will be in continual use until all signs of the gas attack are no longer present.

And I would point out that the hate gas has indeed been in the City's air for nearly a week by my readings, so there is quite a bit of cleaning for our little filter to do!

We estimate that the threat should be over by Sunday evening at the latest.

That's wonderful news indeed!

[Bart turns back to the camera.]

And be sure to continue watching the Action News team for further developments in this breaking news story! Back to you, Randy!

((ooc: Dark blue is Hank, light blue is Bobbi.))
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[personal profile] mocks
This message is for Wonder Woman and Batman of the Justice League.  This is Mockingbird of the Avengers.  I've been advised by Zatanna to contact you.

The matter isn't urgent, however I'd appreciate hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

[Private to Max Dillon]

Hey.  Answer me, dammit.  Where the hell are you? I've been by your place five times, you're not there.  And you're not at my place either, so what gives? 

[A dramatic pause, followed by whining.]

Dammit, Max.  Don't play with me.  We're both too old for this crap.  Just tell me where you're hiding!  God!
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[Tired Bobbi is tired. And she sounds it, too.]

How is it that there are literally two hundred TV channels and all that is being broadcast right now is soft-core pornography and infomercials?  Whatever happened to re-runs of 'I Love Lucy' and 'Green Acres'?  Why's it all been replaced by adult-themed fairy tales and advertisements for Tajazzle and Forever Lazy?  I can't find a single episode of 'M*A*S*H', but I can watch an hour long special on the Ultimate Rock Ballads and order it for a hundred and twenty bucks, and I can get Skinemax in English and Spanish.

[An exhausted sigh.]

And don't even get me started on QVC and the Home Shopping Network. Who the hell actually buys this stuff? Who amongst you is to blame?

((ooc: Links not IC, they're just for reference.))
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[Someone is obviously having a rough week.]

Please tell me someone here has heard from Steve Rogers in the last week or so.
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[Guess who just realized she's not a vampire? Bobbi looks absolutely miserable, though there's a definite look of determination in her eyes.]

Great news, everyone. Turns out I'm not a vampire.

The downside? I think I may owe y'all a few apologies.

[A pause as she clears her throat.]

To everyone who played witness to yet another one of my screw ups, I'm very sorry. I can't even begin to explain how embarrassed I am over this. I hope y'all can find it in your hearts to forgive me for the mess I made and all the problems I caused.

And Danny, I'm so sorry I bit you, sug. And you too, Luke. I'm so sorry I broke into ya'll's apartment. And I-- I hope you can forgive me. If there's anything I can do to make this right, you know I'm good for it.

((ooc: I'll be able to respond to this tonight, but will be in transit tomorrow, so responses might be delayed!))
[identity profile]
[Hi City, have a video with a shirtless, just-woke-up Danny nursing what looks to be a bite mark on his neck. In the background, Luke is wearing tight red booty underwear (his pajamas) while restraining a hissing Bobbi. You can hear Luke's disgruntled voice in the background, but not his exact words. Both men look a bit miffed.]

I think it's about time we start thinking up a cure for this whole 'I'm a Vampire!" thing. I mean, maybe I'm just saying that because I was just bit and it's... [He turns, looking at a clock on the wall.] ... 1:22 AM, but still.

[He sighs. Jabs a thumb back at Bobbi.]

Is there any kind soul that would be willing to come pick up Bobbi right now? She's trying to bite Luke and the last thing I need is another Count Dracula in the apartment.
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[The camera turns on and shows nothing for a moment. It's just darkness. Then, after about thirty seconds of black nothingness, an off-screen light turns on and  Bobbi appears. But she looks slightly odd. Perhaps it's the bright blood red lipstick she's wearing, or the fact that her skin is ghostly pale.]

Need blood.  Need to hunt.

[She licks her lips and stares longingly into the camera for a few seconds before she shuts it off.]
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[The broadcast is interrupted by a overly smooth looking news anchor, shuffling his papers on his desk.]

We interrupt this broadcast of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown to bring you breaking news. Trisha Takanawa is live at the scene in downtown Manhattan where a building has seemingly disappeared into thin air. Trisha?

[Cut to Trisha standing in front of a... well... a vacant lot.]

That’s right, Bart. I’m standing here in front of what was the head quarters of the Coffeepot Action Committee, a conservative lobby group known for it's anti-imPort platforms. According to eye witness reports, the three story building simply vanished off the face of the Earth.

[Cut to a recorded statement from the eye witness, a drunken frat boy, describing the scene.]

At first I was like, “Whoa!” Then I was like, “Dude!” And my bro Hambone was yelling, “The building, bro! The building! Dude!  Brosef!  The building is gone!”  And I was like, "What the #$&*!"

Hey! Hey! Am I on TV? Yeah! Yeah! Hambone! I’m on TV!

[Cut back to Trisha.]

According to a statement issued by the Coffeepot Action Committee confirmed that three members of their janitorial staff were inside the building at the time of it’s disappearance. Their whereabouts have yet to be determined. Emergency response officials would not issue a statement to us at this time.

[Cut to a firefighter shrugging, and then back to Trisha.]

The source of the disappearance and the fates of the janitors, none of whom were members of the Coffeepot Action Committee, will remain a mystery for now. Back to you, Bart.

[Cut back to the anchor at his desk.]

A spooky Halloween mystery, and excellent reporting, Trisha. This is Bart Clinton from the Action News team wishing you a good night. Enjoy the rest of Charlie Brown!

((ooc: this is part of Wanda's undoing the world a little bit at a time plot, details of which can be found here!))
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[personal profile] mocks
[The comm turns on the show the ceiling and the frantically bobbing head of a small mockingbird. The mockingbird is apparently trying to switch the comm on, and when she realizes, she stops, hopping into full view of the camera, before letting out a shrill chirp followed by several other seemingly random sounds, all in rapid succession before she starts fluttering around the room. After less than a minute, the feed cuts.]
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[personal profile] mocks
[Encrypted to Tony Stark]

I need some time to myself. After what happened-- after the illusions and the Skrulls and all the brainwashing-- I need to take a break from the Avengers for awhile.

You can always call me up if you need back up.
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
[You can't see Bobbi at all, but you can clearly hear her sobbing hysterically, gasping for breath. The camera is shaky, and the lighting is very poor, but quite obviously, she is holding the communicator out and away from herself. On screen is a convenience store, with chips and sodas, and an unusual amount of ice cream all over the floor. Also on the floor? Three unconscious civilians, all three clearly having endured a severe beating.]

You see?! You see them?!

[Slowly, she climbs out of her hiding spot, which was apparently a large freezer. Bobbi's teeth are chattering, and she scoots over to inspect the civilians.]

Skrulls! Clint! Look at them! They're here! They're here too!

[One of the civilians starts to stir, apparently coming to. This causes Bobbi to panic and she drops the communicator. A second later, from the skewed angle, her boot can be seen connecting with the woman's head.]

Stay down! You monster! I'll break your goddamn neck! Stay away from me!

[She snatches up the comm again, and the connection cuts off.]

((ooc: Bobbi has indeed attacked those civilians, while under the influence of Lyra's illusions as seen here! Any responses will be from a distraught Mockingbird and will be permavoice.))
mocks: (Default)
[personal profile] mocks
I know everyone has been preoccupied by the electric unicorn this weekend--not surprising, you should be--but please tell me someone else caught the news piece on fish bones washing ashore. Maybe it's just the biologist in me freaking out, but why isn't anyone looking into this? Is anyone looking into this?

And am I the only one who saw that insane pundit spouting that crap about imPorts being the cause of the fish die-out? Good lord!  Would somebody teach him how to make origami cranes or paint pewter figurines? Isn't there some public garden he can putter around in?  Somebody find that man a hobby besides drafting flow-charts that make no goddamn sense.

[ooc: News report #1 can be found here, & new report #2 can be found here!]
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[personal profile] mocks

[The camera flickers on to reveal the looming image of Mockingbird against the backdrop of a busy City street. The reflection of the communicator is easily visible in her oversized sunglasses, as are the headlights of passing vehicles, and despite the fact that Mocky has a smirk pasted on her face, it’s obvious that she is totally pissed.]

How many years of my life were wasted on that planet, huh? How much time have I spent on my own, on the run, trying to get back to Earth, trying to get back to reality. I had it, I was home. I was reclaiming my life, I was home and now this?! No! No, no, no! I don’t even know what this is, but I don’t want it!

[It’s getting hard to tell if she’s more heartbroken or angry, enough emotion is coloring her voice and expression. Even her body seems slumped and shattered. This is a humbled, defeated looking Mockingbird. After a moment though, she seems to have collected herself, breathing in deeply and standing up straight and tall.]

A person can only take this so many times and just bounce back. You can only get your heart ripped out and have your dreams trampled so many times before you just want to give up. Maybe next time will be my time, maybe next time I’ll give up. But I guess I’m stuck here, and if I’m gonna be stuck here, I may as well put myself to good use.  If you know me, you know what I can do. And you probably know who I’m looking for, too. If you see Barton around, send him my way, will ya?

In the mean time, anyone wanna fill me in on what the hell is going on? Whose ass do I need to kick today?


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