trickshot: [art↺david aja] (pic#5975392)
[personal profile] trickshot
for those of you keeping score at home, we're currently down 2&3/4 avengers. or maybe just 3. so if you've been looking for a certain captain, a green lawyer, or the girl who stole my name, you're not going to find much.

also, don't mess around with shrinking crap unless you actually want to make best friends with ants. that's the only time it'll ever work out for you.

(growing's way better, anyway.)
trickshot: [art↺david aja] (pic#5975017)
[personal profile] trickshot
You know how the papers sometimes think they’re being clever and call us “Cityzens”? (Do any of us call ourselves that? If you do, stop, it’s not cute.) It’s weird. Since we’re not actually citizens. I was looking into documents and stuff—marriage licenses, it’s complicated, don’t bother with it if you can get away with it—and you can’t just put that you were born in whatever county in whatever state. Since technically, that’s not the truth, while you’re here.

Weird, isn’t it? Like that part of our lives didn’t happen, since we can’t prove it. You would think being alive would prove that you were born, right? Apparently not. I’ll never understand government stuff. Or paperwork. Especially not paperwork.

You can’t control a lot of what goes on, here. Guess that’s why we all go for human punching bags. It helps.

♞ five

Nov. 20th, 2012 04:03 pm
retconman: (daydreaming about pink spandex)
[personal profile] retconman
[ The feed turns on and Max steps away from the communicator, which has been propped up so as to show him and Clint standing in the Avengers Embassy. Max smiles and adjusts his tie, before he begins to speak. ]

Hello there. I know -- I know, before I start, let me express my gravest condolences about the tragedies that have recently unfolded. Let it be known that the Avengers, for one, are working on taking steps to lessen the chances of some kind of repeat performance in the future. Super-villains are an epidemic, but we can at least help better prepare our heroes for the fight.

[ Clint makes no attempt to hide his boredom as Max speaks; he rolls his eyes for a moment before pursing his lips as Max discusses the last week’s events. Eventually, he elbows his way to the forefront of the video feed. ]

Yeah, yeah, no need to dress it up so much. Basically, this is a City full of people with powers — and that means training tends to take a few bites out of the place.

[ Max clears his throat. ]

Right -- well, exactly, what we need is community, and proactivity. We need action. Which is why I'm -- ah, we're -- happy to announce that, through tireless negotiations, location scouting, and careful budgeting, we now--

[ The eye-rolling continues until Clint sees fit to interrupt, holding up one hand. ]

We’re putting together a place that won’t collapse if someone with super strength hits their punching bag a little too hard.

[ Max smiles tensely, hiding his irritation. ]

A training facility, endorsed by the Avengers, to give anyone at all the chance to practice or hone their… talents, as well as meet possible partners for team-ups down the road. If you train together, you'll at least be prepared to work together when the next crisis hits.

[ If Clint senses that irritation and is immensely pleased by it, you’d never know it from his face. He just raises his eyebrows a bit as he speaks. ]

Right, right, it’s a great idea. Not surprising, since I came up with it.

[ Max grinds his teeth, but pats Clint on the shoulder. ]

Where would we be without Hawkeye? Good ideas should be funded and made into realities, which I was more than happy to do. We won't get anywhere without a little support, we're all part of this situation -- every one of us -- and all our contributions are going to make a difference.

[ Clint gives him a look that could melt lead and sidesteps. Clearly they are not in the “comfortable with touching” phase of this relationship, yet. ]

Yeah, okay. Solving the world’s problems one gym at a time. We can go with that.

Er -- right.

[ Max's brow furrows but he smiles again, a bit more convincingly for the cameras. He holds a photograph up. ]

The address is ( location ) and it's available for any Imports to use, free of charge. Just do us a favor and don't try to blow it up even if it can take it. Damages mean delays, and everyone deserves to get started right away.

[ Clint huffs out a breath. ]

Play nice, kids.

[ And then he cuts the feed because if he doesn’t he assumes Max will keep talking forever. ]
trickshot: [art↺david lópez] (⇀ no i don't want no scrub)
[personal profile] trickshot
Okay. That was weird. Are all these missing days being kept on account for me, somewhere? Am I ever getting them back? 'Cause last time I checked, it was June. And sleeping my way through national holidays isn't something I wanna make a habit of.

I think the old robot owes me some ice cream and apple pie. At least.

So... yeah. Guess I'm back. Even though I didn't go anywhere...
trickshot: [art↺david lópez] (⇀ trying to think)
[personal profile] trickshot
( it’s about three am and there’s a good deal of ambient noise in the background of the feed: the flick of a light switch, a refrigerator door opening and then being slammed shut, the soft pat-pat-pat of steps against cold tile. another shuffle, a sigh, and then finally: )

Say you got to go home for a day, no strings attached. What would you do?

And don’t give me any of that you won’t remember or you wouldn’t know it was just a day crap. That’s not the point.
trickshot: [art↺david lópez] (pic#3110887)
[personal profile] trickshot
( the video opens to show clint, standing knee-deep in a clear, blue ocean. he doesn’t look like he was particularly prepared for that, however, because he looks nothing short of pissed off as he shuffles over to the shore, water-logged clothes weighing him down all the while. as the camera shifts, it becomes clear what—or who—he’s moving towards: lockjaw, the self-styled leader of the pet avengers, who is sitting calmly on the beach. but just as clint reaches him, the giant dog is surrounded by a glow and disappears. you’ve really got to love teleporting inhuman dogs. )

No! Are you kidding me, you stupid—!

( clint’s voice breaks off as he fumes. a moment later, he finally looks back down at the comm, and glares at it as though it—and the network, and all you people watching—are directly responsible for his plight.

he manages to calm down for a minute, huffing as he runs one hand through his hair. )

So. Right. I think I’m in… Guam? Somewhere near there at least. And in case my ride forgets me here, I’d appreciate it if someone would come get me. Quietly. Without saying a word.

Oh, and everyone else? If anyone ever asks you to explain things to their giant, teleporting bulldog, say no.
trickshot: [art↺butch guice] (pic#2540114)
[personal profile] trickshot
( here on the screen is one clint barton, arms crossed over his chest and expression rather annoyed. when he speaks up, it's terse. )

Listen up. I need to know if anyone's seen our resident She-hulk around. You know, seven feet tall, bright green, kinda hard to miss?

( he pauses, lips pursed. it's almost an empty question, since if she'd been around the city he would have been able to get in contact with her. but he asks, anyway. )

Right, so if you have seen her, tell her whatever joke she's playing isn't funny, and that her pack of crazy pets is getting worried.

( and with that, he cuts the feed. )
bests: (Default)
[personal profile] bests
[ the video opens up on the avenger's work-out room gym thing. it looks a bit messy, like a fight went through it, which... it did! after a moment carol manages to get the video where it's supposed to be and, oh look, it's her and clint. she's got clint pinned to the mats in the gym and they both look a little worn out, but carol's grinning. ]

Alright, City. Important question here. What's better for take-out, Thai or Chinese?

The correct answer is the one that gives out fortune cookies.

Fortune cookies are not the end-all, be-all of what makes good take-out. You wouldn't want fortune cookies from an Italian place.

Yeah, but you get pizza at Italian places. So it makes up for it.

[ lineface ] That doesn't make any sense.

Sure it does.

Why don't we just let Network decide which of us has the better argument?

Your argument doesn't come with inspiring messages inside a cookie, but sure.

[ ooc| purple is clint, black in carol. they are idiots and you should laugh at them. ]
trickshot: [art↺david aja] (Default)
[personal profile] trickshot
( okay there is a lot going on this feed—the clatter of drinks and the murmur of various conversations, and also some music that sounds distinctly tropical. eventually, clint’s voice can be heard. )

So, we’re in Tahiti. We should be back in a few days, but I thought we’d ask if anyone wanted a souvenir, or something.

It's a well-deserved va-cay-tion. Don't miss us too much!

Happy New Year, I guess—see you later.

( and on that sheepish note, the feed cuts. purple is clint, green is jen, etc etc. )
superspeeds: (Default)
[personal profile] superspeeds
[The video feed pops on to show a countertop. On it, a woman is making a list with a notepad and ballpoint pen.]

Let's see, we'll probably need two turkeys.

So that we can all black out from the tryptophan and hopefully forget this disaster.

Quiet, you. Two turkeys... Babe, do you want to make your own sauce, or should I have him buy some?

I'd rather make it.

Gotcha! So then we need ketchup, worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, cider vinegar, I think we have chili powder, some onions, we have garlic. Oh god, am I forgetting anything?

Anything at all of nutritional value. I'll be acquiring tofurkey if I'm to be involved with this.

You're such a brat. Tofurkey on Thanksgiving?

Tofu is an excellent source of protein and I won't suffer the same lethargy as you lot, or feel compelled to gorge myself.

I really don't want to barbecue tofu, Pietro. It just seems wrong.

Yep, you heard him, wrong. Moving on, I'll need three avocados and some limes, too.

Avocados for Thanksgiving dinner, indeed.

Clearly you've never been to Thanksgiving on the West Coast... Hey is your communicator on?

Bloody hell.

... We'll probably want tequila, too.

[And with that, the feed cuts. Bobbi is blue, Pietro is green, and Clint is purple.]
trickshot: [art↺david aja] (Default)
[personal profile] trickshot
( The feed opens to a view of Clint standing outside by a practice range—because he has a total of three hobbies, alright—leaning slightly on his bow as he glances down at the communicator. )

So, I had a thought. We’ve got, what, a couple hundred people running around this City, all or most of them with powers, and probably at least a slim majority that are trying to fight the good fight, right? And I’m sure at least some of you know what you’re doing, or at least I’d hope so.

But I know there’s a bunch of you out there who are kids, or teenagers. It’s pretty much a given that what we do isn’t always the safest thing, but I know that won’t stop you, if that’s what you’ve decided to do. What I am saying is that you should be trained, at least in the basics, so that if things do get tough, you can deal with it.

( He pauses for a moment, like he’s mulling something over, then continues: )

So I figured that we might open up the grounds a couple times a month and run through some things with whoever wants to learn. We’ve got the time for it, and I know a couple people who could use something to do. Just for... things other that what you’re getting in school, I guess you’d say.

( There's a pause, and when he speaks again, it’s on a completely different subject. Clearly having productive thoughts can only last so long. )

Hey, Bobbi, what are you doing after—

( Clint might be about to say a bit more, but then he looks down at the communicator and pulls a face, like something's gone wrong. )

Damn it, not again.

( Just before he reaches down to cut the feed, you can probably see the reflection of the comm in Clint’s eyes—it has inexplicably turned purple again. )
trickshot: [art↺david aja] (Default)
[personal profile] trickshot
( forward-dated to about 3am tomorrow morning!

the feed opens to a rather dimly-lit view of clint lounged on a couch, presumably in the avengers’ mansion. he’s in a t-shirt and looks pretty tired, and there’s the distinctive glow of the television reflecting light back on him. there’s a gray cat sleeping in his lap and bee-pug is nuzzled against him on one side. clint isn’t paying much attention to them, however, as he’s flipping through the channels with a dead-eyed look. )

Three things I’d like to know—

One, what the hell is a Sham-wow and why does it have enough money to buy all the commercial space from 1 am onwards?

Two, is “Deadliest Warrior” always this full of bull? Because there’s no way a Spartan would take down a ninja. Joan of Arc taking down William the Conqueror, sure, but this? No way.

And three, should I even bother trying to read the subtitles on this drama when I know someone’s about to get slapped, no matter what they’re saying in Korean?

( clint just shakes his head after this, and stops flipping channels. the sounds of the korean drama are fairly audible in the background. it looks as though he’s leaning down to turn off the feed, but at the last moment clint turns to the comm and glares darkly. )

By the way, Shulkie, I’m going to kill you.

( and on that happy note, the feed cuts! )
trickshot: [art↺david aja] (Default)
[personal profile] trickshot
( surprise, it’s a video! see clint standing a little ways outside the porter building, looking none too pleased. his mask is on, his face is scrunched up in a scowl, and he’s shaking his head in disbelief. )

You know, just once, I wish someone would ask before yanking a guy away from what he was doing and dropping him down somewhere else. I had some important things to get done today, too. I made a list and everything. Grab some coffee, get some training in, get ready for a date…

Speaking of which, I have to be back by tonight, or someone’s going to be pretty pissed off. And believe me, whatever this place’s problem is, it’s nothing compared to what I’ll be in for if I’m late.

( he breaks off that line of thought with a fond sort of chuckle, then rubs the back of his neck with one hand as he glances down skeptically at the communicator. after a moment, he heaves a sigh. )

Alright, alright. Can I at least get a roll-call, or something? Sound off, who’s here, who’s missing, and what the hell are we doing about all this?
[identity profile]
I keep forgetting that I have this thing.

Maybe it's because no one's said anything stupid on it lately. And certain people have been quiet. Too quiet.

I thought about saying something stupid for shits and giggles. Maybe plan a highlighting party.

Yeah, so I'm gonna head out on patrol.
[identity profile]
[ Video ]

[ Clint looks thrilled to be back in the wonderful City. Actually, he looks like he's spent an hour locked up with nothing but the sound of nails on a chalkboard for company. He's not wearing the facemask, although the distinctive purple material can be seen bunched high on his forehead. ]

Has anyone figured out why the goddamn machine picks the worst times to grab me? I get brought here when I'm busy. I get flung back when I'm busy. I get teleported again, and I'm still fucking busy.

I don't care whatever problem the City's brought on itself this time. If it would stop grabbing idiots like Osborn, everything would be fine.

[ He rubs at his jaw. ]

Roll call. Iron Man? Shulkie? Black Widow? Herc? Ollie ollie oxen free. I wanna know who's still here, how much I missed.
[identity profile]
Got a question for anyone more involved with charity stuff here. Anybody know if this fake-NYC does an Operation Santa Claus?

Tony )

Kate & Roy )
[identity profile]
[ This is the first time Clint's used the encryptions Natasha taught him. They're still better than private, but hackable if you're good. ]

[ Avengers only ]

Did anybody get hit with the powers roulette this time? I'm fine, I think. I haven't even figured out whatever it is that the Porter did to me in the first place, so it's hard to tell. When I start shooting smoke out of my ass, I'll let you know.

Speaking of, people have been posting that they've got theirs back. Tony, how's the suit?

[ /end ]

[ Encrypted to Speedy and Mini Hawkeye together ]

You kids okay? Nobody turning green and wanting to yell "(codename) SMASH!" or setting their rooms on fire?

[ /end ]

[ Encrypted to Black Widow ]

You've been way too quiet. Did you get hit with the power switch?
[identity profile]
[ Someday Clint will post when he's not pissed. Today is not that day. ]

That's it. I've officially had it. Some kid shows up calling herself the Enchantress and tries to annex herself onto any Avengers squad that'll take her? The Enchantress? I seem to remember Wanda hexing her ass in.

I want a meeting. I want a meeting now. I want everyone who can read this to be there, along with the rest of the kiddies on the legitimate Young Avengers, and no one - and I mean no one - is leaving until we have some sort of game plan for handling fakes and wannabes that doesn't include sticking our heads in the goddamn sand and praying that if we do enough do-gooding, everyone will know who the real Avengers are.

The Enchantress. What. the. fuck. I will gouge at my eyes with an arrowhead first. I thought we'd hit rock bottom already.
[identity profile]
[ Filtered to the Avengers + Natasha ]

Anybody up for a training session?

[ Deadpool ]

Not you.

[ Natasha ]

You're too quiet. Tony's too quiet. EVERYONE is too quiet. I'm starting to think something's up.

[ Kate Bishop ]

How goes things with the junior squad? You want to take target practice sometime?

[ Unfiltered ]

Anyone want to catch a baseball game?


Aug. 30th, 2009 11:38 am
[identity profile]
Everyone had a good time at the party, right? Good. Someone owes me new sheets. Call it a hidden cover charge.

4. Voice

Aug. 23rd, 2009 10:21 pm
[identity profile]
Guess nobody else has the guts to say it. I'm not sorry Deadpool got ported out. He seemed like a real whackjob, and I'd rather have Herc on the team any day. So thank you, Porter.

Which brings me to another point. I tried to keep my mouth shut, but we all knew how that was going to go.

Tony. What the hell are you doing with my team?

3. Text

Aug. 13th, 2009 01:30 pm
[identity profile]
So I tried not asking to preserve the timeline, but I've decided that I need to know because people that I don't even know do. I don't like being blindsided.

I need to have a chat with the people from my world. I'll start. Who's Mockingbird?
[identity profile]
[OOC note: The aftermath of this still in progress. is backdated to the wee hours of the morning on August 8th. Due to me failing, it is being posted now. Oreo & Ara, let me know if you need things edited. ]

[ The video clicks on abruptly, mid-scene. It's semi-lit by street lights, whoever's holding the camera is more in the light than what they're filming. One man is dropping another down on a vestibule. Both sound like they're in pain and there's a sharp exchange between. The audio picks up a word here and there - nothing fit to print. The man on the ground either won't or can't get up. The first man leans against the wall, holding his side. The camera's moved closer, not zoomed, and you can see that they're both fairly covered in blood. Kate Bishop's voice is heard behind the comm.]

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"

"I- "

[ Bullseye's answer stops there, because Hawkeye's just kicked him in the leg. It's a benevolent act, really, whatever he would say would probably not be G-rated. Also, it makes Clint feel better, even if it makes his side feel like it's been ripped open. He reaches over and takes the comm from Kate, as he's trying to keep out of this as much as possible. Very little of her is seen during the whole video, not enough to ID her unless you know her.]

[ The camera focuses first on Bullseye, then pans up to the door of the police station. ]

"Delivery for John McClane. One Bullseye, on your damn doorstep, as promised. Sorry, the non-use of his limbs isn't permanent. We tied him up. But he won't be walking on that one leg for awhile now, will you Lester?"

[Clint laughs, but it cuts off in a quiet hiss of pain. His free hand waves away the offscreen Kate.]

Bring a doc with you if you can. I'd hate to see what he'd do in a hospital.

[End Transmission]
[identity profile]
I need anyone who's not busy to head to the nearest school. The fake-me just made a vague threat about schoolkids and target practice. Move it, we ain't got time to pass go.

[Voice: ADDED fifteen minutes later]

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[A heavy silence, and then...]

Forget it. I'm too late.

1. Voice

Jul. 26th, 2009 01:25 pm
[identity profile]

Man, I love a good gate-crashing. Not sure that I wasn't wanted at this little party after all. I've got my name on the tags and everything. There's just a few things I need to know - sorry, but I lost my invite.

For starters, who do I owe the pleasure? I think I know, corporate branding being what it is, and your logo is all over. If this is our new digs, I prefer the mansion. Jarvis is going to hate mopping these hallways. Why is it so big for, what, half a dozen?

Also, it's not exactly a pleasure. I was in the middle of something, and even if it wasn't a massive starship battle in outer space, dammit, it was important to the guy whose car just got stolen. I just need five minutes, and then I'll come handle this for you. What'll you ever do without ol' Hawkeye around?

Finally, and the most important thing, where the hell is my bike? It was running, and it's not here. If it crashed without me, you're paying for a new one and raising my stipend for aggravation.

Okay, I lied. There's one last thing.

Hey. Metal Man. Since when do we have a teleport? Was it really necessary to zap me in here? I can drive anywhere in the city in under 20 minutes. A little warning maybe, next time? Phone call. Enough time to pull over. You know my bike has a radio on it? Just a tip.


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