captainyesterday: (I wanted to be captain)
[personal profile] captainyesterday
[Once Fry's hand has stopped blocking the camera, a horrific example of festivity can be seen all too clearly. The warehome Fry and Bender inherited from Zoidberg has been decked up in true holiday spirit. Tinsel and lights are hung haphazardly from a large pine tree located squarely in the middle. It probably wasn't the best place for it when you consider the mass of trailing wires that surround the tree. Still, when Fry turns the camera on himself he seems pretty happy with what they've accomplished so far.]

Isn't Christmas great in this century? We've almost got enough stuff to decorate this whole warehouse. Some of these lights look sort of weird, but I think we've got at least half working.

[In the background, Bender is rather impatiently fiddling with a ball of wires, muttering and swearing under his breath before he speaks.] Stop yapping over there and come help me! Jesus should be damn grateful I spent so long on some crappy lights.

[Fry is only too happy to come over and help Bender tackle the lights. He puts the device down and picks up a separate ball so he doesn't have to deprive Bender the joy of unravelling his own.] Oh, you haven't seen anything. Once me and my brother spent three whole days untangling our crappy lights. And then another two on the tinsel.

Three days? Can't we just erect a bomb shelter, like in the good ol' days?

[Fry looks a little crestfallen at Bender's lack of enthusiasm. Why wouldn't he want to spend an indefinite amount of time untangling Christmas lights? It's the best part.] This is the good ol' days. We have a pine tree. Why would you want a bomb shelter?

The pine tree got needles all over my collection of hay! [And, indeed, there's a large pile of damp hay sitting under a pine tree somewhere in the distance.] I need that hay for my cow business, Fry. Cows need hay! And shelter from bombs!

The hay's fine. If there were needles in there I'd have found them by now.

Well, if you want to untangle the lights so badly, be my guest! [He shoves his bundle of wires towards Fry with great gusto.] I want a traditional Xmas, not a Christmas.

[Fry clutches the lights possessively, possibly tangling them even more in the process.] What's so bad about Christmas?

At least Robot Santa got his massacres over in one night!

Normal Santa didn't need massacres. That's what makes Regular Christmas so special.

[Bender rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically.] If it's that special to you, then I'll do it. But only if I get to cook.

For a moment Fry looks thrilled. And then it seems to sink in just what Bender's demands are. He looks distinctly more uncomfortable after that.] You know, traditionally people only eat chocolate on Christmas. Cooking's sort of frowned upon.

Aww, what's the point in doing anything nice for you?
[Bender just sighs and storms away from the camera.] If you need me, I'll be buying cows!
captainyesterday: (ow)
[personal profile] captainyesterday
Well, I guess I don't have lickity-speed, or extra fingers. And if I eat a whole bunch of cheap leftover Halloween candy I still throw up. But all that means is I must have something really great. So great I haven't found it yet. And the best part is, I don't have to be a delivery boy anymore.

[Looking pleased with himself, Fry stares at his palm, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he puts all his concentration into scratching his palm. His enthusiasm seems to fade after a minute or so of scratching, and something seems to occur to him. He's starting to look a little concerned now.]

At least I don't think I have to be a delivery boy. When did they invent career chips?

[His scratching intensifies, but it isn't long before he becomes frustrated with the lack of result and begins gnawing viciously on his hand instead.]

C'mon, you stupid career chip. Come out. I... want... to... be... unemployed.

[One more especially hard bite later, and Fry seems to have given up. He sighs, nursing his chewed hand with resignation.]

Does anyone need a delivery boy?
captainyesterday: (mind reader)
[personal profile] captainyesterday
Wow, that was some wormhole. I don't remember anything. Is this Old New York? I remember it being older looking. And not having TVs that make people heroes.

What happened to the Planet Express ship? And actually, everyone else? I thought wormholes were supposed to be a hole. Not some sort of... I don't know... people separator.

How am I supposed to be a hero when I don't have anyone to tell me what we're doing?


capeandcowl: (Default)

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