allbloodyhail: (pic#1230318)
[personal profile] allbloodyhail
[This video is timestamped 01:06 EDT and focuses in on Spike's face at first, or tries to. He appears to be pacing.]

Passions was cancelled while I was in Hell, you know. Bloody unfair, that. Watched every episode from a crypt over the Hellmouth; easily the most dedicated viewer they had and now I'll never know what happened to Katherine. [Joke's on him because no one ever finds out what happens to Katherine.] And I know you're saying, Spike, that was six years ago but I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the bugs.

It's. The. Principle. Of. The. Thing. Yeah? Does anyone have those anymore? Principles? [He blows out a loud sigh and the picture rocks and shakes a bit to show what looks like the control room to some sort of vehicle. There's a sound like it might be coming in for a landing and suddenly the shaking stops and the feed jumps back to Spike's lovely visage.]

Not saying you have to welcome me back with open arms, or even lie and say you missed me. Hell, what's it been for you lot? Must've been less than a week, I'd wager. The moon's still looking like a little sliver of a thing. That's the pattern though, isn't it? It's been months for me and a day, maybe two, here?

[He actually laughs, like it doesn't bother him. Because on some level it doesn't. At least he gets to escape the crazy batshit of home for a little bit, even if it means the crazy batshit of the City all over again.]

Will miss being a King though, again. [Spike continues his thoughts aloud, so used to having someone around who reads his mind anyway it doesn't even register that that's half a thought. And that's when the camera pans backwards, as he walks calmly across the grass. This thing is finally revealed in all its gummyesque glory, just chilling in the middle of Jefferson Park. Spike lights up a cigarette and cuts the feed.]
allbloodyhail: (just waiting on you)
[personal profile] allbloodyhail
[Spike's face is shrouded in darkness, though the ember of a cigarette can be seen most prominently. The frame opens up to a small, dank space; some might recognize it as the basement in the MAC. Perhaps the small washers and dryers in the corner give it away. Something about the scene seems ominous, at any rate.]

I had to get away from them. [He speaks softly, like someone might hear and drag him back upstairs. How ~mysterious~ ]

They've completely taken over.

[And now have a link to a cell phone video of not-so-little-anymore calico kittens destroying Spike's apartment. Apparently he has to haunt the basement (again) to get a little peace.

Another creak from his rocking chair and the whole stupid video fades away. Stay classy, City.]
allbloodyhail: (wait one bleeding second)
[personal profile] allbloodyhail
[So Spike still hasn't figured out any function but video. Not because he's necessarily tech-inept. He texts, he's hip!! He just hasn't tried that hard. And texting is way harder than just talking at this stupid thing.

But then there are times like this. And he wishes people couldn't see him.

There are approximately five calico kittens on his person. Probably more in his apartment, and he looks so run down.]
Who knew, kitten poker isn't as widely practiced as I thought. What am I going to do with you lot...

[A skip in the feed and the kittens are suddenly out of sight. WHAT DID HE DO WITH THEM? He won't tell you. Unless idk you ask or something, they're probably in the kitchen calm down.]

Another auspicious beginning, huh? It was rounding out 2010 where I left from, not that anyone cares. I've been here, what? Two months. Trapped in a castle, stuck as an otter... Business as usual, really.

One thing though: TV here sucks. [There's a crackle and he holds up a finger like he might say something more, but then the feed cuts out, permanently.]
allbloodyhail: (oh bloody hell)
[personal profile] allbloodyhail
[This comm is on the move. Spike is running through Times Square in the middle of the daytime, covered in a blanket. Clearly, he has important vampire matters to attend to.

The dizzying camera-experience comes to a halt, suddenly, when Spike is thrown to the ground. The screaming begins.]
Oh, it burns, it burn-- what the bloody hell. [He props himself up on one elbow, which is scraped to the point of bleeding, but his blanket is almost a meter away and he. Well, he isn't going up in flames.]

Have I mentioned yet how much I hate alternate dimensions?

[cut and Spike is stomping his blanket into the ground, cursing the City and Lachesis and all that other fun stuff. but then he's fine, dusting himself off before the feed cuts a final time.]
allbloodyhail: (fight on)
[personal profile] allbloodyhail
[The feed comes on to his mumbling, he's still trying to figure this thing out in its entirety.] I love this other-dimension-travel stuff... Really, it's just my cuppa.

...Oh. [he taps the comm IS THIS THING ON] If someone is hearing this, I'd like a first-class ticket out of here. Alright, I'll take coach if you're paying and all, but really. Could've sworn I had a battle raging a few ticks ago. Know it was a little low-rent and everything, but that's no reason to interrupt. Your mum never taught you that was rude?

[long, exasperated sigh.] Alright, kittens, listen up. Explain where I am and do it slow-like. I have a delicate constitution. And while you're at it, could use a smoke.

No takers? Well, then. I'll just have to tell you a story. It's a good one, I promise, so come right down here in front and listen close.

Once there was a vampire with stupid hair and big, dumb.. shoulders. And he decided he must be the best vampire in the world because he was special and everyone told him what a great bloke he was. So then--

Oh, sod it. I was in the middle of proving him wrong, you get me? Now why's it I get the feeling flying back to Vegas just won't cut it. There's got to be a portal around here somewhere...


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