text;

[amoray]

so im havvin an amazin wweek howw about evverybody else
that important matter aside i wwouldnt normally havve the time for addressin you lot again in such short order wwhat wwith quadrants day and my related hectic social schedule upcomin and all but ill make an exception this time around
wwe havve a important matter to deal wwith and the longer wwe take to up and fuckin do somethin about it the more a pain in my fuckin gills its goin to end up bein
wwell mine and wwhatevver humans got that kinda approximate to gills anywway
naturally im glubbin about this copycatbeast infestation runnin about potentially destroyin our infrastructure and shit like that wwhich i for one wwill not stand for
i mean if anybodys goin to be destroyin any infrastructure a mine they oughta at LEAST come stand an do it out in the open so i can draww and quarter em you knoww thats just good fuckin manners for any race alien or not
so i say wwe ought to open up an official-type invvestigation you knoww pool our abilities and resources and all that carp
wworkin together wwe could havve this little skrull affair settled all quiet-like wwithin the wweek long as wwe arent squeamish
not advvocatin a slaughter or anythin here thats not in my nature but im just sayin wwe might havve to get our fins dirty
that aside my bein a natural hatched leader i suggest all a you appoint me in charge a said group though you knoww thats more a suggestion than anythin else dont look too deep into it
unless you wwant to

ok noww wwhos wwith me

Comments

[enigmaestro]

Say it, Eridan.

[amoray]

oh but ed people wwill talk

[enigmaestro]

That cannot rival what you've been talking about.

[He's watching your conversation with Roman.]

[amoray]

listen just cause i MAY HAVVE insinuated a interest in the difference in blood taste betwween aristocratic humans and the filth a society dont mean its wweird or anythin
i mean its a legitimate question grubsauce alwways tasted different dependin on wwhat caste the grubs wwere from

[THE MOST ELEGANT WAY TO ADMIT TO CANNIBALISTIC BABY-EATING.]

anywway DEPUTY MAYOR EDWWARD NYGMA AKA THE RIDDLER AND DEAREST CONCILIATORY INFATUATION A MINE dont act like wwe wwont end up buttin charred fuckin foreheads wwith mask sooner or later anyhoww
its better to get the threatenin out and proper early on
kinda sets the tone for future clashin you knoww

[enigmaestro]

-- What? [Oh my God, Eridan.] Did you just -- don't say things like that. Don't casually admit to cannibalism.

I just.

[EXHALE.]

And with regards to Roman, just mind that he doesn't know your culture. Don't develop an ebony-tinted crush or some such.

[amoray]

oh god you humans get fuckin squeamish about evvery little thing
and wwhile your faith is NOTHIN IF NOT FLATTERIN that wwas sarcasm by the wway IM PRETTY DAMN SURE if hes wwaxin anythin for anyone hes wwaxin it for you
i mean half the time wwe talk hes talkin about you or howw upright god damn obsessed wwith him you probably are or threatenin your life or shit like that

[enigmaestro]

Oh my goodness, you really are getting deft with sarcasm.

Regardless of what may appear, I can assure you that isn't the case. Such is how Gothamites treat each other, really, there's nothing intimate about it.

[amoray]

ok wwhat are your feelins on the bat then cause honestly im pretty fuckin sure all a you got some sorta permanent minor black crush on him or somethin
and i mean in a LEGITIMATE kinda wway here not that platonic shit you keep pushin
its ridiculous
i mean not that i couldnt see WWHY a course
cause you knoww he wwas pretty fuckin infuriatin and smug and all a the shit that makes a good kismesis wwhen he wwas here doin his vvigilante type shit a the hoofbeast vvariety
and i wwont lie i think me and him had a kinda ebony spark betwween us there for a second
but you knoww as i wwas sayin i wwont blame you if you got evven a little bit a dark feelins for him cause im pretty fuckin sure evverybody else from gotham does too

[awkward.]

but yeah anywway are you SURE youvve nevver eaten human before i find that vvery unlikely

1/2

[enigmaestro]

Eridan! You son of a --

private

[enigmaestro]

You did not have an "ebony spark" with Batman. Okay? You did not.

private

[amoray]

no need to get all fuckin IRATE or nothin ed hes not evven here
and i got my sights set higher anywway
anywway youre avvoidin the human question you knoww that
awwful FISHY if i do say so myself

private

[enigmaestro]

I don't even know why I'm humoring you.

private

[amoray]

because i am your adorin wward wwho may i add has taken a choice couple a bone-shatterin beatins to savve your sorry fuckin hide
and cause ivve got enough mud on you to sink your reputation AND hundreds entire political connoiterin for the rest a your wwoefully inadequate human lifespan

avvoid the question one more time and im goin to assume thats a yes by the wway

private

[enigmaestro]

Ugh. Damn it, Eridan.

[EXHALE.]

It's not a yes. I simply enjoy having a suitable rival. And he was suitable, make no mistake.

voice

[maskurbates]

[giving that annoying 'heh heh' laugh he does]

You going to spank him in front of us too, Eddie?

voice

[enigmaestro]

I don't question your parenting techniques, Roman.

permavoice

[maskurbates]

Surely someone as pedantic as you are knows why that is.

permavoice

[enigmaestro]

I just assumed it's because you've a low sperm count, so I can't critique your progeny for lack thereof.

[maskurbates]

Do you want me to be flattered by your interest in the mystery of what kind of contraceptives I may or may not use?

[enigmaestro]

It's so irritating, you know. How you can take that with a straight face.

permavideo

[maskurbates]

[switching to video just so eddie has to look at that very straight, constantly amused face]

I know it is. How hard that must be for you to swallow.

[enigmaestro]

Oh please. As if I'd be swallowing anything inspired by you.

[maskurbates]

[but you already are

lol no he totally resists saying that and blowing his cover and this calls for more subtlety]

Falsehood.

[enigmaestro]

Ha ha, that's so funny.

[maskurbates]

But it didn't ring false, did it.