52nd Course [video]

[notadartboard]

[coming to you live! from the new apartment he shares with Callie. In other words, much swankier than his previous posts from the MAC]

Admittedly, I've been a little busy lately and it almost snuck up on me, but my favorite holiday is knocking on the door once again. Now, ever since I got yanked into this shitty world it's been somewhat obvious to me that a lot of guys really need lessons in how to treat a lady. What better opportunity to fix things than on Valentine's Day?

[strolling through the apartment while he addresses the comm]

Time for a quick lesson in pleasing your ladies before they kick your asses for forgetting or being a complete heel. Rule Number One: she always comes first. Some of you idiots are good about this, but the rest of you are selfish jackasses, so take the opportunity just once to try and do it right. What you want doesn't matter. Use your mouth - ask her what she wants. If she isn't sure or wants you to figure it out, then use your damn brain. If she's not the sort to like stuffed animals, buying her an ugly bear on Thursday isn't going to work. If you don't know whether she's allergic to roses, or is on a diet and can't have chocolates, or what have you, find out before the big day. Giving the wrong gift because you don't know your lady's tastes is more than just a faux pas.

Rule Number Two: if you screw up, apologize right away. Even if you're not sure what you did wrong. If she's pissed, it's due to something, and it's better to apologize now and figure it out later than to get into an argument on the spot and jeopardize your perfect evening.

That should get you started for Valentine's Day. Beyond that, you're on your own, unless you can bribe me to give you charm lessons. And I don't come cheap.

[as he passes through the kitchen, there's a glimpse of bottles of wine and red foil boxes on the counter]

I usually give out boxes of hand-made chocolates to my favorite ladies at this time of year, but I do have one special lady in particular to focus on, so I'm not sure I'll be able to spread the wealth out this year. Not to mention, I've lost track of several of them. The Porter seems to be nabbing them before anyone can even notice, lately. I tried sending a message to Miss Diana about chocolates and got no answer. That reminds me, has anyone seen those kids who were engaged and talking about a wedding?

Comments

[klutziness]

Everybody should listen to your lessons.

[notadartboard]

Don't tell me rockface needs a few pointers, Miss Rikku!

...wait, what am I saying, of course he does.

[klutziness]

Aw, don't be like that! He can be romantic when he wants.

[notadartboard]

Oh, really? Is he going to make an attempt for Valentine's Day? It's a day of love, you know~.

[klutziness]

I know! And he always makes the effort on holidays.

[notadartboard]

...just the holidays?

[klutziness]

No, not just holidays.

[notadartboard]

Good, good. That's more like it.

Am I still allowed to offer you chocolates?

[klutziness]

You know I'll always take your chocolates Sanji.

[notadartboard]

Wonderful! It would be a shame to break a tradition, after all.

I'll have to get them to you before Thursday, though. They're better fresh and I'll be out of town after that.

[klutziness]

No worries, I can wait. They're more than worth it.

[notadartboard]

No, no, I'll be sure to make the deadline. It's only right!

Aww, you flatter me so, Miss Rikku~.

[klutziness]

I only call 'em like I see 'em, Sanji. You've known me long enough to know that!

[notadartboard]

That's true! Man, it really has been a long time, hasn't it? Even in the terms of this world. More than three years...

[klutziness]

Yeah, time flies when you're held captive by a crazy, dimension-warping computer.

[notadartboard]

That it does.

You haven't been back home at all since then, have you? [he can't remember anymore]

[klutziness]

Eh, just a time or two, here and there. She can't stay away from me for long, though. I'm way too awesome for her to kick out forever.

[notadartboard]

And then there were those little blips where you disappeared but didn't. Damn Porter. At least it means we're still graced with your beautiful presence~.

[klutziness]

You know it!

[notadartboard]

[that's what he loves, Rikku, that...confidence]

Rockface is a lucky damn man.

[klutziness]

[it's always the confidence]

I think I'm pretty lucky myself.

[notadartboard]

You kids have fun on the big holiday. I hope you're doing something special.

[klutziness]

Just goin' to dinner. But it should be fun.

[notadartboard]

It's something, anyway. Have fun!