✷ 001 | text

[cawky]

ok
which one of you was paid to write this intro
seriously
someone needs to be fired
cliche as fuck
im offended by how horrible it is
informative maybe but lets be real here
ive lived the personal game guide life
yall could take a few tips from me
i mean
so this pamphlet isnt a snorefest

so what is this
new york jacked up with superheroes?
pretty sweet i guess
its weird as shit having legs again
i finally got used to the whole floating thing

Comments

[cawky]

well
last i checked i was bleeding to death
so i guess this is a step up

[cawky]

[the more he watches her, the more he realizes how strangely naked he feels without his sprite body. Perhaps it had been because of all the things tied to what had forced his hand into self prototyping.

For a while, he just stares at the screen, like he can't quite figure out how to respond. His moment of silence is interrupted by a crow, who promptly begins to try and peck his glasses off his face. Dave will spend the next few moments trying to shake them off and trying to type]

could be worse
you could be neck deep in these feathery douchebags like i am
i should get paid for keeping the bird shit off the streets.

[crab]

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
AS IF HAVING TO DEAL WITH ONE OF YOU OBNOXIOUS DOUCHEROCKETS WASN'T ENOUGH.

[culver]

[she opens her mouth and shakes a little--she's laughing, silently. this just looks really cute to her.]

Why do they flock to you?

[hashrap]

did you just use yall unironically
polly tell me it aint so
whatre you doing to me i got this reputation all set up fine for us
also welcome back douche i trashed your room
theres a wang on every wall
you were my inspiration

[cawky]

dunno
hasnt stopped since i got to this dump

[his glasses nearly slip sideways when a crow gets particularly daring, and at this point dave has had about enough. the communicator is momentarily placed between his knees after one short message:]

sec

[by some miracle of nature, the glasses don't slip away from his eyes. however, dave is now shooing the birds off his shoulders, and they seem to have finally gotten the message, fluttering backwards to join the pigeons on the railing.]

[cawky]

are you strapped in for the ride
i got about twenty more following behind me
doucherockets all the way across the sky

[cawky]

dude come on
why is that even a question
the delivery was totally ironic
you gotta own the yall
the only thing i cant control is the cawing

trashed
you mean glorified
besides its not like i remember what the fuck it looked like anyway

[cawky]

no
but like i said
i wasnt wearing these choice duds as a sprite
pretty sure thats not how it works

[crab]

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M STRAPPED IN FOR
IT'S THE LAUNCH OF MY EVERY FRUSTRATION TOWARD YOUR SMUG UNATTRACTIVE FACE
MY FIST WILL BE ITS CARRIER
YOUR SNIFFNODE THE DOCKING BAY.

[culver]

[she can't help but laugh again.]

Maybe you should go inside.

[glowsferatu]

Well Actually Ive Seen It Occur Almost Exactly Like That Before
But There Was No Prior Mention Of Any Kind Of Duds Choice Or Otherwise
Though If Your Taste Is Anything Similar To Your Template Ill Have To Wonder How Legitimate That Description Would Be

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Oh gosh, that sounds awful. This place is pretty cool, though! You should be glad you're here, it sounds like your world was, um, kind of sucky.

[somethinglawful]

C4N 1 G1V3 YOU 4 L1CK TO F1ND OUT
JUST 4 L1TTL3 ON3

[cawky]

skipping the dinner and everything
breaking all the rules today

[cawky]

true that
later

[He fights off one more crow before cutting the feed.]

[culver]

[she waves and follows suit]

[cawky]

[Its hard not to stand out in the city like he is. Davesprite is, of course, not currently a sprite, but decked out in his CHOICE DUDS, red little bowtie and all. The image is marred by a gaggle of birds that have all flocked to him -- mostly pigeons and crows. One of the larger crows remains perched on his head.

He doesn't bother trying to shoo them until he spots John coming into view.]

[dupable]

[ John doesn't try to scare them off either. In fact he lands a good several feet away from Davesprite and stares at the birds in bemusement. ]

Hey, dude... I couldn't find Jade so we'll just have to meet up with her later... What's with the birds?

[cawky]

Assholes haven't left me alone since I walked out of the building. Told you I had company, dude.

[He swats a few more times in a way that suggests he isn't really bothered, but he still doesn't want them pooping on his suit.

He stops for a long moment and stares at John. He hadn't really had a change to see him much in person before this moment, and the weight of it was hitting him a little hard. He covers it up with a shrug and comments on the lack of Jade.]

No big deal.

[dupable]

[ Sadly, for the past year, John has had no lack of Dave, in fact, even though he keeps coming in and out, John's seen his fair share of Davesprite too, so while this is an emotional moment for Davesprite... John is an oblivious douche. ]

Can you shoo them away or something? We definitely can't let this many birds in the house.

[ He's walking over to him now and lifting his hands up to try to wave at some of the birds. ]

[cawky]

[Davesprite doesn't seem to give a fuck -- he's good at that. John's attempt at shooing has mixed results. Most of the pigeons fly off, but the crows remain stubborn. The largest one caws obnoxiously and pecks at John's hand in a bold fashion.]

Pretty sure that's feathery asshole for "fuck off bro".

[Maybe its that gross orange scent that's attracting them. Not that Dave can tell.]

[dupable]

Ow!

[ Jerking his hand back and rubbing the spot the crow pecked him. ]

I didn't even do anything to him.

[cawky]

You shooed him pretty hard just now. Think you might've offended the guy. Maybe you should think about apologizing.

[The crows are giving John a dubious look. Dave rolls his shoulders to try and shake a few off -- it doesn't work.]

[dupable]

[ Making a face at him. ]

I'm not apologizing to your head crow.