Troll romance is the most moronic bucket of shit I ever fell ass backwards into. We don't do freaky hate-love, I don't want to touch his hateboner and I don't want to lovingly punch him in the face or whatever the fuck it is you do.

I'm not flirting with him. Look at it this way, bro: if he were a chick, I'd stare at his boobs. It doesn't mean I want to date him or whatever, it means he has boobs and I need to look at them as per the Rules of Dudehood. Another of the Rules of Dudehood is to be a dick to your friends. I'm like, totally breaking a cultural barrier here. I'm extending the olive branch of friendship towards him and he's grabbing it with a knife. It's not my fault if he's totally misunderstanding my platonic dickishness.