Video; FlashComm

[centralsgreatest]

Hellooooo, City. [ The Flash lounges against a table outside a cafe somewhere downtown. Behind him people look both startled and confused - clearly he just arrived on the scene. It's hard to stage something like this, you know. ]

Valentine's Day is coming up. I just thought I'd remind all the ladies out there that the Flash is available, and there's plenty of me to go around.

[ He gives the camera a hundred watt smile. ]

Don't be shy now, step right up.

Comments

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

[Oh dear god.]

Son, we gotta talk about your technique.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

[ Goddamnit not another one. ]

I just cannot catch a break today. What about ladies is so hard to understand?

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

Oh I heard you loud and clear. I just think you might want to change up the way you're goin' about it. Maybe try for something a little more direct.

We could still go bar hopping if you want. You, me, and Roy.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

I thought I was pretty direct. [ The point misses him so beautifully, it seems. ] But I'm always up for the bar.

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

I meant talking to a girl on her own. They respond better to that, in my experience.

When are you free?

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

Oh. [ He didn't think of that. ] Yeah, I mean, I was gonna do that too.

I got nights off the next couple of days.

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

Saturdays good. Lots of folks out.

I'll talk to Roy and see if he's got time. If not, I don't mind playing wingman for a night.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

That'd be cool. Just hanging out, like back home. It'll be fun.

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

Yeah, fun. And maybe you can find yourself a date.

[A beat.]

Maybe with someone who isn't eighteen and on my writing staff.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

[ Ha HA, so she IS legal. ]

Hey, it's her choice. Better me than some creep, right?

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

Except that she's got a boyfriend as far as I know, and you going for an eighteen year old doesn't tell me you aren't a creep.

I like you, kiddo, but stay away from the teenagers. They're all crazy and you don't need that in your life, anyway. We'll go out tomorrow and find you a nice girl your own age.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

What? I'm not going after her, she asked me! And I'm totally respectable.

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

But you coulda said no. I'm telling you, it's a bad move.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

Dude, chill. We're just going out for dinner.

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

Oh, sure. It starts with dinner.

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

And it's gonna end with dinner. I like my girls a little older. [ And taller. And more filled out. And preferably some variety of Super. ]

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

[Ollie opens his mouth to say something, but stops himself. He actually gets along with this version of Wally, he doesn't want to ruin that entirely.]

It better. I don't wanna hear about you breaking one my girl's hearts, you hear?

[voice]

[centralsgreatest]

Can't break it if it isn't mine. [ He would call off the date. But it seems so harmless. He'll give the girl a good meal and then drop her off at home. ]