video

[centurybaby]

[ the view is obscured by an exhale of cigarette smoke, until jenny lifts a hand to wave it away. the gesture is unremarkable, except it's irritable somehow. the camera is sitting on her bedside table, angled a bit carelessly, because when she moves away from it, she doesn't seem to care if her face shows or not-- but she's visible from the middle down, pacing and smoking. ]

Hey.

Has anyone seen Julian Keller?

[ another exhale of smoke. then she moves to sit on the cot. ]

He sent me something. So I just wanna know if anyone's fucking seen him or not.

[ she lifts a hand to run through her hair. it's getting long now. but she's quiet. quiet for a while. then irritably, she flicks her cigarette to floor and grinds it out. hard. ]

Happy fucking holidays.

[ then she turns the feed off. ]

Comments

text;

[glowsferatu]

[ does she even want to do this? god, it's horrible that all her friends are friends with her other friends. but she can certainly approach it as distantly as she possible. ]

He Said He Would Likely Return In A Week

[centurybaby]

[ right, this is awkward. probably more so for kanaya than jenny. ]

Has anybody else gone missing? If not, you're probably getting your fucking hopes up.

[glowsferatu]

Im Not Thats Just What His Message Said
The Porter Is Leaking Like A Sieve I Really Doubt He Will Return At All
But I Can Confirm That Hes Gone

[centurybaby]

Right.

[ beat ]

What'd he say to you?

[glowsferatu]

He Told Me A Lot Of Things

One Of Them Being That I Should Take Care Of You
That Youve Lost Too Many Friends As It Is
A True Mystery That One

[centurybaby]

You're still mad.

[glowsferatu]

Its Funny How That Seems To Work Isnt It

[centurybaby]

Mad about me kissing you, or is it still my failure as a friend?

[glowsferatu]

I Dont Know That Id Consider Those To Be Two Separate Things

[centurybaby]

Should I even ask what you want me to do about it? I can't take it back. Not from here anyway.

[glowsferatu]

The Obvious Answer Is Dont Do The First Again And Try To Correct The Second

[centurybaby]

Fine. Whatever.

I'm not fighting with you right now. Not today.

[glowsferatu]

Neither Do I
But You Asked A Question So I Answered It

[centurybaby]

Right. My fault again.

You know, Julian didn't like the shit I did, but we were still thick as fucking thieves.

[glowsferatu]

Because You Obviously Treated Him The Same Way You Do Me
Or Did You Try Kissing Him Too

[centurybaby]

No.

[glowsferatu]

Then It Really Isnt A Fair Comparison Is It

[centurybaby]

Like you give a fuck about fair.

[glowsferatu]

Yeah Thats The Problem Here Jenny
You Try To Kiss Me Fully Knowing That Im In A Committed Relationship That Im Not About To Break For Your Sake
And Im An Unfair Bitch For Having Shoved You Off
Seriously
Listen To Yourself Right Now
You Dont Have Any Right To Be Mad About My Anger

[centurybaby]

It's not about that, Jesus. Look, you want me to apologize for kissing you? Then I'm fucking sorry. Alright?

[glowsferatu]

When You Tell Me That Its All About Me Not Giving A Fuck About Fair And Being So Oversensitive Compared To Him What Am I Supposed To Think Its About
Maybe Julian Was Easier On You Because You Actually Treated Him As A Friend
How Long Has It Been Since Youve Done That For Me
Assuming You Ever Have
You Want Me To Be Fair With You But I Think I Have Been
Reacting In Kind To What Ive Been Given

You Said That You Were Trying To Make Amends And This Is How You Go About It
Maybe Its More Genuinely Because You Demanded Less Of Him

[centurybaby]

How the fuck am I supposed to treat you like a friend when you fucking treat me like scum? You could stand to meet me half-fucking-way, you know that? Julian hated what I did, but he didn't fucking hate me. He gave me the I-fucking-told-you-so's, and the fucking lectures, all of it--

[ her voice gets just a little unsteady. ]

But he promised nothing would ever change the fact that he gave a shit about me. He held my hands and told me it'd be okay.

[glowsferatu]

Youre Getting The Cause And Effect Mixed Up Again
I Never Stopped Giving A Shit About You Jenny
But Ive Told You So Many Times Ive Lost Count That I Feel Like The Only One Of Us Who Does
You Have No Idea How Tiring It Is To Give And Give But Only Be Taken From In Return
Because Everything You Do Is On Your Terms
Even Asking Someone How Theyre Feeling You Make Seem As A Command
You Arent The Only One Who Has Trouble Opening Up And Certainly Not To Someone You Think Is Only Going To Dismiss You Out Of Hand
And Floodgates Arent Easily Closed Once Forced Open
But Thats What I Got When I Tried To Meet You Halfway
What I Have Has Never Been Good Enough If Im Holding Onto Anything For My Own Sake

[centurybaby]

Then fuck off. Don't do this to me anymore. Don't do it to you anymore.

[glowsferatu]

Because Its So Much Easier For You To Blame It All On Me
I Guess However Some Of The Reponsibility Is My Own
But That Initiative Hasnt Been Mine For A While Now
Today It Was To Talk About Julian
And If Thats Really How You Want It Left Then It Wont Be Again
Maybe Thats The Best Way I Could Follow His Directive To Ensure Youre Taken Care Of