Encrypted and filtered to Weapons Smash Team Numero Uno

[the-hammer-is.livejournal.com]

Listen up, team. I'm Captain Hammer, and I'm your new God. I hope you're all ready for some serious glory in the land of Hollywood, because that's what we're after. Glory. And maybe women. But mostly glory.

We're gonna go in low, and we're gonna go in fast. We're leaving no stone un...stoned. There's piles and piles of guns and crap everywhere, and we're gonna turn 'em into...those things. Like in the Bible. You drag 'em behind horses or something.

Now, I don't know some of you. In fact, I don't know any of you. But I know you're good men, unless you're not, in which case you're good women. Or robots. You could be good robots, too, I guess. ANYWAY. I'm gonna be keeping a close eye on all of you, and if we all work together, we'll get to La La Land and back here to the City in time to catch Saturday Night Live. (Tonight's musical guest is Coldplay! I ain't missing that.)

Just do what I tell you to do, and everything's gonna be all right.

Hammer out.

Comments

[hellcommander.livejournal.com]

....

Are you fucking shitting me.

[the-hammer-is.livejournal.com]

Nope.

Which one are you?

[hellcommander.livejournal.com]

Hiruma.

Need I remind you, sir, we are not going in for glory nor are we going in for fucking BROADS! We're going in to destroy shit! Blow it up!

[the-hammer-is.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Exactly. You get the glory and the broads because you blew shit up. It's cause and effect.

[hellcommander.livejournal.com]

....

I.


Ok never mind.

[permed-justice.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait, this is our team leader?

REALLY?


The price for this just went up.