capeandcowl

Monster
--noun

1. an animal or plant of abnormal form or structure
2. one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character

a threatening force

an animal of strange or terrifying shape
one unusually large for its kind

something monstrous, especially: a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness, or cruelty

Once I would have said that I had never met anyone who could be called a monster. That nobody who was still able to think and feel could truly be a monster.

I'm not sure of that any more. But if people can be monsters, then what makes a person a monster? Is it their power? Or is it their will? If a person has the power to cause destruction, even if they don't want to, is that person a monster?

I want to think that a person's power doesn't make them a monster so long as they don't wish to use it to do harm. But it's possible to harm others without meaning to. Even if you're only trying to do something good, it's hard to know what will happen. I think, probably, not many monsters know that they are monsters.

If you try to help someone, and it ends up hurting many other people later on, what is the right answer?

If you think that, by killing someone now, you could keep many other people from being hurt in the future, what is the right answer?

This is something I have been wondering about lately.

[ooc: and I now apologize if "monster" no longer looks like a word.]

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I didn't then. But even after terrible things happened, I - I have still protected him. I don't think I can just say that I didn't know so it's not my fault.

[[another long pause]]

Why did you protect him?

[[thinks he knows the answer, but really, he wants to hear it]]

[have an awkward hesitation]

I.. I don't know if I can explain in a way that will make sense.

Because we're alike. Because I can tell that he's hurting, and lonely. Because if I abandon him, then there won't be anyone left anywhere who's still trying to reach him.

[[smiles softly]] Because you're his friend.

[[It was something he understood rather well, as it was a lot like what Yuugi had done for him, and for Otogi and for Malik. ]]

I don't think that's a bad thing. You're not helping him hurt other people, you're trying to reach him so he'll stop hurting, and stop hurting others.

But is this really okay? Even if I don't want anyone to be hurt, I'm helping him by protecting him.

[[is quiet a long moment, thinking]]

I don't know, [[finally answers honestly.]] But here, I don't think things like that really matter, do they? He's not hurting anyone here, right?

...no, but... it's not like that means the other things don't matter.

But there isn't anything you can do about that here. Second guessing the choices you made that you can't address now... you'll just make yourself feel bad.

[[another slight pause]]

Blue-san told me once, that you can't let the past keep you from continuing on to the future that you want. I think... instead of thinking of what you did then... instead if you think of how things are now, and what you could do now so that it doesn't happen again...

[[isn't so good at this and is trying to say what he thinks his various mentor figures would say, so it's a little awkward.]]

What's in the past is in the past. It's the future that's important... right?

Yes, you're probably right.

I suppose I'm just... trying to figure out what to say to Leo. There probably isn't anything. No matter what I say, it won't bring anything back.

Un... [[nods slightly. Really, he knew so little of what had happened in the world Matsuka Blue and Leo came from, it was hard to really know what to say or do. But with what little Blue had shown him... ]]

You could ask him what he would have you do...?

That doesn't seem like a fair question either. But... maybe it's the best thing to do.

If he even wants to speak to me any more. Right now... probably not.

Maybe if you give him some time? Or you could talk to Blue-san. Blue-san would probably know better, really.

That's true, he really might. Maybe... sometime soon, after a little more time has gone by...

[[blinks.]] Too nervous to try and contact him?

[a little shake of his head] It isn't that. It just - I don't think right now is a good time to try to talk about it, if that makes any sense. Not just yet.

[nods] Because Leo just came back from it, you mean?

[nod] That's right.

As long as you don't make yourself upset about it until then. [[smiles. Since really, he know telling Matsuka not to worry about something was about as effective as telling him not to worry about something.]]

[awkward little laugh] It's hard not to think about it. But I'll try. [he pauses briefly and then smiles, a bit less awkwardly now] Thank you, Bakura. I do feel a little better now.

[[smiles warmly]] I'm glad.

Ne, did you want to go play something over at the 'cave? There's a new game, one of the dance ones I'm no good at. It's actually pretty fun!

[blink] A... dance game?

I'd probably be horrible at something like that. But I suppose it might be fun to try out...

Edited 2010-11-10 19:12 (UTC)

I think half the point is to be horrible. Anzu-chan is the only one I know of who's any good at it, really! [[says with a soft laugh, getting to his feet and offering Matsuka a hand up.]] Shall we go?

Okay. [takes a moment to put down his mug, then takes the hand up that Bakura offers him] Let's go, then.

Edited 2010-11-10 19:15 (UTC)

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