001 | video;

[crusades]

[After a few expertly feigned false-starts, Bruce manages to set the communicator to record and the video feed focused on himself. He's a man in his late thirties; the classic tall, dark and handsome. His hair is playfully mussed and the tie to his visibly expensive executive suit is drawn slack enough to reveal a lipstick smear on his neck. He wears the lazy smile of someone who has never had much difficulty having a good time.

All in all, it's a thoroughly convincing charade.]

I must have overindulged on the bubbly because I don't remember the Big Apple ever having its own border control. Is that a new initiative?

What's more, it would appear that I've mislaid my butler. He has my appointment book, but I fear I'm long past expected at a Community Health Center ribbon-cutting in Gotham.

I'd be loathe to flake on such a worthy cause, so would someone be a dear and call for a car? You can be my plus-one.

Comments

[scarabsuited]

[HEY. PEOPLE WERE DYING, OKAY. GO AHEAD, GET A NEW BATCAVE; I'LL CHRISTEN IT WITH MY VOMIT.]

...Nnno. Not really...not at all. How do you think you went from...whatever you were doing one minute, and then–? [slight pause. hmm.]

Well, in any case, it's not a movie or anything like that. It's...pretty much a completely different dimension? With no Gotham. And the most boring name for completely-different-dimension New York City.

[wait for it–

...no, wait. it's lame:] This is just the City.

[crusades]

[B-BUT I'M POOR HERE. WHAT DO POOR PEOPLE DO FOR MONEY, JAIME?

By the way, I'm on to you. This is totally a Babylon 5 chat room.]

You fanboys really do take these things seriously, don't you?

[scarabsuited]

[GET A JOB. AND STOP MAKING ME HATE YOU BECAUSE LATER ON IF I FIND OUT I WAS TALKING INTROTALK TO BATMAN YOU'LL BE GETTING NOTHING BUT SIDE-EYES FOREVER.


long pause. flatly:] I'm kind of trying to tell you what's going on here, you know. You could go check a map, find out for yourself, and freak out a little on your own time if you want, though. Some people are kinda big on that.

But no, really. Alternate dimension. No Gotham. Weird stuff happens, and not occasionally. [slight pause. as a side:] Aaand you probably have some kind of power now if you didn't have one already. Just sayin'.

[crusades]

So... there's no ribbon-cutting?

[scarabsuited]

Not here, no. Sorry. [soberly:] You might have to put that on hold for...a while.

[crusades]

I don't organise them. I wasn't looking forward to it, especially.

How long is 'a while'?

[scarabsuited]

I couldn't really say. Nobody can. Some people go home after a month or...a couple months. Some of us haven't left at all since we got here. It's not really up to us.

[crusades]

Who is it up to, the frosty babe who likes to monologue?

[scarabsuited]

['frosty babe'? who are you, paco? that earns a snort anyway.]

Far as I can tell, yeah. It's one of those I can't do that, Dave things, I think. Just on a really stupid scale.

[crusades]

[He's used to them melting as soon as they clap eyes on him. The fake Bruce, that is.]

I suppose writing her a check would be out of the question?

[scarabsuited]

She's the one shelling out the cash handouts here. If you keep those metal tags she coughed up, that is. Which, I guess, is decent, considering we've been ripped from our respective worlds and realities.

[--oh] Which...kind of reminds me. Gotham, right? Which one?

[crusades]

I'm... not sure I know how to answer that question.

[scarabsuited]

Oh. [right. heh. er...] Uh, well...Like I said, different worlds and realities...that includes timelines. So...like, is it 2010 where you're from, too? Do you have any superheroes or something like that? 'Cause, I guess that–[cut short, interrupted by something.


sigh.]

Ah, nevermind. I think our Gothamites will probably help you out better than I can.