Eighth Inquiry [voice] BACKDATED TO 3AM

[nottheanswers]

You now, there are some questions that you'll be unlikely to ever get an answer to you can share. Not entirely impossible, as this place has proven, but the usefulness of the information, how it may apply to anyone else, is always suspect.

I've got one in particular in mind, but the answers will probably be different between here and home, and there's good odds they'll vary from person-to-person.

But I'm using a lot of words to make a very simple inquiry. [sorry everyone, he probably hasn't slept in a few days] What do you think happens when you die? Or, at the very least, between when you die here and when she decides to bring you back?

I have my own thoughts, of course, but my answers aren't important right now. Just the question.

Comments

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

[His voice wavers somewhat.]

She was one of the sweetest people I ever met. She'd send me letters. When I was upset once, she stayed with me the whole night just to keep me company. She talked about how she-- how death-- wasn't pain, but the end of it. The end of suffering. And when you heard it from her, you'd believe it.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

[He's silent for a couple beats. When he finally answers, his usual smirking tone is absent. Just perfect sincerity.]

...That sounds nice.

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

[Katurian's usual coldness with Vic is all but gone by now. He loves talking about death. It's unmistakable, the warmth in his voice.]

Certain people might try to convince you that I'm afraid of everything. But not her.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

Well, certain people only see what they want to, and will move heaven and earth to make that interpretation true.

Do you think meeting her made the difference, or did it only add further to existing feelings?

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

[Pause.]

Like you, I was ready to die, and then I wasn't.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

Happen to know if she's still around, then?

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

[His throat is dry.]

She left.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

Shame. Would've been nice to meet her.

Though I have to wonder whether her advice applies the same way in a place like this. Sure, you'll get the momentary release, but what's to keep it all from coming back once you do?

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

I keep coming back.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

Tends to happen here, yeah. And the suffering? Does it end, or is it just a temporary reprieve?

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

[The edge returns.]

What do you think?

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

Pretty much what I was afraid of.

You can't escape death, but you can't escape life, either.

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

I j-just want--

[Pause. He breathes.]

There comes a time when everything should just be finished.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

I understand how that feels, believe me.

But when that isn't an option you'll have to find another way to go. And just surviving will never be good enough.

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

I have my stories. My writing. [Pause.] I don't-- I know some people might think thoughts like these are sick, but no one sane would want to live forever. No one would want this.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

I'm not here to judge, I have no pedestal to look down from to call you sick. I know too well already what you mean, or at least some approximation.

But it's hard to really say if forever is what we're looking at here. Just...longer than we could accept. Or control.

When our only choice is to keep going, we might as well do what we can with it.

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

Yes. That's all there is. That's all we can do.

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

But that's all it's ever been, hasn't it? If we expect to get through, eventually we need more than that.

I haven't always maneuvered it so well, but I did have a good teacher.

voice; private, encrypted

[goryteller]

I had more before. [Has he said too much? He grimaces.] Who?

voice; private, encrypted

[nottheanswers]

This was a guy back home, I haven't heard anything about him showing up here. But his name was Richard Dragon, he teaches life lessons to people at the end of their rope with nowhere to go, under the guise of martial arts training.