One! - Video

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

[It’s video, but it might as well be voice since the picture’s dark. Sometimes the glint of a pair of yellow eyes can be seen, especially when the Monster’s looking directly at the screen.


His voice is human, and young. He sounds worried and a little scared.]


Oh man, Xykon’s gonna be really mad when he notices I’m gone.


…Wherever I’m gone to anyway. Where is this place? It looks kinda like Azure City but less blue and less hobgoblins and not really like Azure City at all. I just remember popping in. Did I get tela-porked? I don’t remember doing that. Not that I can do stuff like that! I don’t know magic or anything!


OH! Is this where O-Chul went? I mean, I popped out and popped in here and O-Chul popped out so maybe he popped to this place. I hope so. Well, except this city place looks scary. If it’s scary maybe he should’ve popped somewhere else. [There’s a short pause as he considers this.]



Am I talking to myself or is this Sending? Hello?

Comments

[magicalworld]

Man, monsters in your universe must be really weird. That's not how the monsters I'm used to act at all. They definitely don't have secret clubs, unless there's a Kid-Eating Club I'm unaware of.

What kind of monster are you, anyway?

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

I don't know if there's a Kid-Eating-Club. We'd probably have to fight their club if we ever met them.

Uhhhhhhhhh, I dunno. I'm some sort of monster. But there's lots of different types of monsters where I come from so I could be anything.

[magicalworld]

Huh. [Calvin calms down and frowns thoughtfully.] Do all the monsters where you come from act like you? Not eating kids and so on?

I might've pulled out the monster manual to double-check what counts as a monster

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

I think it depends on the monster. A lot of them are scary or mean! There are Good monsters, though. I met a few once in Xykon's tower but they refused to light me up.

A lot of my friends are monsters too. The roaches are okay, and the zombies can throw a great taco fiesta but they don't talk a lot. Redcloak's a goblin and he's pretty nice, but he's tried to feed me babies before. Xykon's a lich and he tries to feed me babies all the time. I've never seen either of them eat one themselves, dunno why they'd make me try one.

Um, I guess I should tell you that the only other person in our No-Kids-Eating club is a human.

[magicalworld]

Wow, your world is complicated. There should be a book or brochure or something to keep all those things straight.

Who are these guys who keep trying to feed you babies? Do they have an overpopulation problem or something?

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Yeah, I know, right? One with bullet points and pictures!

They think eating babies is scary and they really want me to be terrifying. Being scary is kinda my job. It's tough.

[magicalworld]

Yeah, I can tell you're not really cut out for it. Maybe you should look into other lines of work.

Besides, your bosses sound like jerks.

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Umm, it's the only job I got! But maybe I could find one here? I can't really eat the heroes when the heroes aren't here.

They're okay, they're my - [there is a very brief hesitation] friends. They give me toys and feed me and stuff. They just... like being Evil.

[ He's uncomfortably reminded of what others had said about his bosses, but he doesn't really want to have to think about it. ]

[magicalworld]

There are lots of heroes here! But you really shouldn't eat them. Or have evil friends. I really think you could get a job that doesn't involve eating anyone.

Especially not kids.

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

So what do you think I should do -- um... Excuse me, what's your name?

[magicalworld]

I'm Calvin! And I think you should... um...

I know! You should go around scaring girls! They're really easy to creep out, so you won't have any problems like you do with heroes. And you should be able to do it without having to eat anyone! Especially not babies. Or me.

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Hi Calvin! It's nice to meet you! I promise I won't eat you, that would be weird.

I've only met a couple of girls here so far, and they've both been really nice. Well, I guess they were more ladies than girls. I could scare girls! Are girls afraid of the dark?

[magicalworld]

They're afraid of everything. But especially bugs! Do you look like a bug? Or can you pretend to be one?

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

I dunno. I could make bug sounds. [Attempts to make bug sounds. It comes off as more cute than scary. gerp gerp gerp gerp]

[magicalworld]

...I think you could use some more practice with your bug sounds. But you can find another way to scare girls! It's really easy. Or you could catch bugs and use those to scare them!

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Most of the bugs I know make bad jokes, and I don't think that's very scary. Are the bugs here scarier? I could ask them politely to help me scare girls, you think that would work?