capeandcowl | o1; every me and every you // video

[ The video blinks on suddenly, catching the corner of the chin. There's a shift of it left, right, before it settles on a pair of ice blue eyes, far too close. Familiar eyes, and an even more familiar face when he pulls the screen back.

Bruce Wayne. ]

You know. [ He clears his voice quietly. ] It's a really surreal experience to be snoozing next to a beautiful lady - and let me tell you, her breasts are fantastic - and then suddenly landing back-first into a strange city. It's terribly rude.

And to make it worse, I switch on this thing, and the first thing I see is my own face. [ Pause. Dramatic pause. He's letting that sink in, City. ] I think there's a word for it - deja vu? But words don't seem very adequate right now, no.

[ There's a scuffling as he sets down the camera on a nice surface. Rocky, though. But it steadies after a while, and he clears his throat. ]

Unfortunately, as handsome as my own face is, I don't remember making any of those posts. Or talking to any of you surely fascinating people [ Bright smile. ]

Care to enlighten me?

[ ... Shush, you're not supposed to realise he has been here for days. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ... Oh, he can tell.

And he's just going to make you twenty times more pissed at him- ]

So...

Did I come in at a bad time of the month? Because I can't think of anything I did that would make you so angry.

[ Total lie. ]

The thinking part would be the problem, wouldn't it?

The memory loss might have cause permanent damage and I need love and kindness to get over it.

[ THE MOST SMARM. ]

Thing is Bruce? Last time you were here you were actually mature enough to manage your company and handle a real relationship. And then you come back spouting the same old bullshit.

[ True true all very true. And she is so angry now. ]

So don't call me until you grow the fuck up.

So basically, you only like me when I'm boring.

[ Drawl. He is trying to piss you off. ]

Fine, fine. Whatever.

Fuck off.

[ Not just mad, there's a bit of hurt in there too. ]

[ Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

There's a significant pause and a quiet, quiet thud. That's his head hitting the wall. Then he just- cuts it off.

It's better this way. Right? ]

Smooth.

Very smooth.

And the peanut gallery speaks!

Hi, who are you?

James Bond.

And you must be Bruce.

I am.

... Are your parents ridiculously cruel or did you choose that name yourself?

Neither.

Going to give me an alternative, or am I supposed to guess?

Well. It's my name. I'm not really sure what other alternatives I could give you.

You introduced yourself wrong.

There's a right way?

[ Fakes a British accent: ]

Bond. James Bond.

Nice try.

Right back at you.

Oh, you got me. I'm just a man who pretends to be others. Think I might pick up a name like Edward Nygma next.

Now that's just bad taste.

His taste is rather awful.

o1; every me and every you // video

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