Katurian Katurian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goryteller) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
capeandcowl2011-12-11 05:53 pm
goryteller) wrote in capeandcowl2011-12-11 05:53 pm
Entry tags:
twenty-two. voice.
[There's the soft sound of a heater in the background, a pleasant, continuous hum. Katurian's voice is clear but decidedly subdued, a contrast to his typically frantic nature.]
Aristotle once said that most of humankind is swayed by fear rather than reverence, that they refrain from evil not because it's the right thing to do but because they're afraid of punishment. It gets me thinking about religion more than anything.
[Pause. The faint sound of nails tracing wood. Tapping.]
After all, religion builds monsters to keep people in line. Fantastical beings. Or-- not so fantastical. But of course, I never needed them. I never payed attention to all the monsters that people cowered over in groups behind pews. The monsters described on clear blue pamphlets.
I'm a writer. I make my own monsters.
[Pause. Then, softer:]
There are, of course, quite a few people who don't refrain in the first place. I suppose that's what Aristotle meant. Most humankind.
[More tapping. Drumming.]
I suppose-- [Pause.] Well. I suppose that's it for today.
[Click.]
Aristotle once said that most of humankind is swayed by fear rather than reverence, that they refrain from evil not because it's the right thing to do but because they're afraid of punishment. It gets me thinking about religion more than anything.
[Pause. The faint sound of nails tracing wood. Tapping.]
After all, religion builds monsters to keep people in line. Fantastical beings. Or-- not so fantastical. But of course, I never needed them. I never payed attention to all the monsters that people cowered over in groups behind pews. The monsters described on clear blue pamphlets.
I'm a writer. I make my own monsters.
[Pause. Then, softer:]
There are, of course, quite a few people who don't refrain in the first place. I suppose that's what Aristotle meant. Most humankind.
[More tapping. Drumming.]
I suppose-- [Pause.] Well. I suppose that's it for today.
[Click.]
private;
private;
Did you say that I wasn't going to be all right?
private;
private;
But I at least want a good end.
private;
private;
If I'm in ruin, it's still the end.
private;
private;
It would depend on the circumstances, whether I'd try.
private;
private;
[Pause. Then, thrumming with intensity:]
I've lived long beyond my time. I have suffered ending after ending after ending, each of them lacking in some way, all except for one, all except for one, which was perfect. It was perfect, and I'm never getting that again. [A dizzying realization. He swallows.] But maybe I can get close. And if my ruin brings that along, that's fine. I'd rather it didn't, but that's fine.
[His voice drops off with the word. Pause.]
But if I'm not satisfied, I'm going to keep fighting for that next one.
private;
The worst thing in the world, for you, is someone else writing your ending.
private;
private;
private;
It hates me.
private;
private;
[A pause. With self awareness, realization:]
It tortures me.
private;
It does what it does to you because that makes you want things more. Only by wanting things will you amuse it, endear it, and possibly make truce with it -- because that's the language it speaks.
private;
private;
private;
private;
private;
That it could make you want me, too.
private;
Obviously a bluff. It hates that I protect you, it wouldn't authentically want me chasing you.
private;
It d-does?
private;
private;
private;
private;
private;
private;