twenty-three. voice.

[goryteller]

[Katurian sounds tired and frail. His voice carries its usual tremor.]

As a human being-- like all human beings, I make a tremendous amount of mistakes. A tremendous amount. I'm not a role model. That isn't-- That isn't something I could say.

[Vocalizing those words nearly kicks his breath away. Pause. Then, feverishly:]

I wanted to apologize for the state I found myself in this last week, a state in which-- in which many of you saw me, and I wanted to let everyone know that it was my fault. I thank you for your concern, I really do, but the most important thing for any of you to know is that it was my fault. And I don't want pity, that's never something I want, even if it seems like a very easy thing to give, even if it seems like I deserve it, because I don't deserve pity and I don't want it either. That doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like shit, g-granted, I don't want to see anyone using that as a fucking excuse, but I-- I'm--

[He catches himself. Breathes.]

But I'm all right.

[Click.]

Comments

voice, private;

[goryteller]

That's why I'm indebted to you. Don't you see? Don't you see how I can't afford to ruin it?

voice, private;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

So what are you going to do, to prevent ruination?

voice, private;

[goryteller]

Anything.

voice, private;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

That's not entirely specific. Or useful, mind, you already owe me two favors.

voice, private;

[goryteller]

Let me give you the future.

voice, private;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

[Carefully. Sternly.] What do you mean, exactly -- do you mean from your powers?

voice, private;

[goryteller]

You have absolute truth. I have visuals. Specifics. I can look for exceptions, and you can-- you can circumvent them, you can anticipate them and know which questions to ask. We can really be remarkable, the two of us.

voice, private;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

Yes, I suppose that's true. Such resources are incomparably powerful, together.

You do have plans.

voice, private;

[goryteller]

You told me that I need to want.

voice, private;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

Well it's true. How else will you induce change as crafted by yourself? If you don't want that, someone else will want it for you.

voice, private;

[goryteller]

Well, I want. And I have plans. And no one is going to craft those for me, no one is going to keep me from reaching what I want.

I know what the future holds. It's not enough to just wait.

voice, private;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

So, in the meanwhile, you're going to take. Which is what you should do, of course. Sometimes you need to take it to make it happen.

What are you going to take?

voice, private;

[goryteller]

No banks.

voice, encrypted;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

That was necessary funding, Katurian. I'm building something.

What would you take?

voice, encrypted;

[goryteller]

What are you building?

voice, encrypted;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

Something I used to perform with, a long time ago. Answer my question now.

voice, encrypted;

[goryteller]

So that you know you can trust me. Right? So that you know you can trust me.

voice, encrypted;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

Yes, sure, whatever. Why won't you tell me?

voice, encrypted;

[goryteller]

Because in the end, it's going to come down to Vulcanus.

voice, encrypted;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

Vulcanus. Vulcanus. I was never much interested in these overwhelming secret societies, Katurian. It's more a Luthor or Lord device. Checkmate, the Legion.

It's so clinical. Where's the drama? The meaning?

voice, encrypted;

[goryteller]

Vulcanus means plenty to me.

voice, encrypted;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

Why? Because they took some of your DNA and someone got shot in the head? Because they showed you what you could be capable of?

I'm from a world where Amanda Waller and the government thought it was a brilliant idea to shoot a bunch of my former peers off to an exoplanet where they could die viciously. Without due process, without any jury or judge, secretly.

Obviously they vastly overestimated the intelligence they possessed, to figure such a plan effective. Or to send Luthor at all.

My point being, obsession means something. You tend to squander focus over every little injury. Not even Selina is out for Waller's blood.

voice, encrypted;

[goryteller]

I-- I'm not even sure what to say about the exoplanet thing-- [A manic laugh.] -- I'm really not, but anyway, I don't think you catch my meaning. I don't think I expressed my meaning properly, but that's all right. I can do it again.

[He collects himself. Breathes.]

I'm not going after Vulcanus.

voice, encrypted;

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

I see.

Then what? Or who? What is it you want to have?

voice, encrypted;

[goryteller]

Let me keep some of the mystery, Edward. Just for now.