twenty-three. voice.

[goryteller]

[Katurian sounds tired and frail. His voice carries its usual tremor.]

As a human being-- like all human beings, I make a tremendous amount of mistakes. A tremendous amount. I'm not a role model. That isn't-- That isn't something I could say.

[Vocalizing those words nearly kicks his breath away. Pause. Then, feverishly:]

I wanted to apologize for the state I found myself in this last week, a state in which-- in which many of you saw me, and I wanted to let everyone know that it was my fault. I thank you for your concern, I really do, but the most important thing for any of you to know is that it was my fault. And I don't want pity, that's never something I want, even if it seems like a very easy thing to give, even if it seems like I deserve it, because I don't deserve pity and I don't want it either. That doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like shit, g-granted, I don't want to see anyone using that as a fucking excuse, but I-- I'm--

[He catches himself. Breathes.]

But I'm all right.

[Click.]

Comments

ENCRYPTED

[goryteller]

At times, I wish there was something. [Pause.] I mean-- I mean Edward hates it, I know Edward hates it, but I think it can be very interesting. If we were all fictional, somewhere. I mean, it would make sense, wouldn't it? Never being able to die. Going on and on and on, kept alive by memories. And records.

Even Desire.

ENCRYPTED

[viced]

It's--

[ He pauses, like he's trying to articulate his thoughts. ]

I don't know. I've always been a fan of stories that go on forever, but to be one? Have my every fucking misstep and mistake out there for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to see?

Some things should be left private. That's why I try to not remind Edward about...the whole 'from a comic book' thing.

ENCRYPTED

[goryteller]

I suppose it's because I'm used to having all my secrets exposed anyway.

[A sad pause.]

But that's good. For Edward, I mean. I know he'd hate it.

ENCRYPTED

[viced]

I don't know if I could handle that. Having everyone know every embarrassing little thing? No thanks!

ENCRYPTED

[goryteller]

[Jokingly:]

Do you really have so many embarrassing things?

ENCRYPTED

[viced]

I crashed my jetpack into a chain-link fence once! I have plenty of embarrassing stories!