capeandcowl | 032 → Voice

Well, it's funny how quickly time flies when you're having fun, isn't it? [ Oh there's so much sarcasm there. He's had such a great week. Actually, there's a pretty annoyed edge to his tone. ]

I want to thank eveyrone who's stayed calm over the past week and a half. The way the community's pulled together has been really inspiring. I know I can't speak on a national scale, or even a state-wide scale [ :( ] but I can assure you that as a city, we're going to make sure that we have procedures in place, and that we can do everything we can to ensure both the safety of both the natives, and you. If anyone has any suggestions, my brand new communicator's on, and my door's open, so I'd be happy to entertain any ideas.

That being said, please remember that the authorities are out there to help you, and if you suspect something shitty's going down, I'd encourage you to report it to the people you trust the most, as well as the police.

[ A small pause. He taps a pen on the table. ]

Stay safe out there, and let's pray we're overreacting.

[ ENCRYPTED TO JAMES BOND ]

The song from the fucking bodyguard, you shithead?

[ /End encryption ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm the opposite of lazy

Prove it.

Alright. How do you suggest I actually do that, aside from complete devotion to the job?

How should I know? Do more about these aliens than sit around and pray, for starters. You could get all the cash registers in bars to not charge us front-liners for our drinks. That's a little team spirit.

More spirit than team, I'd say. You're seriously pandering to me for free booze?

Aren't you a team player, Mr. Mayor? It'd be a good way to show your support of our worthy cause.

I can't appropriate city funds for liquor, and I'm not about to ask the local bars to go out of business giving free booze! I'll buy anyone a beer who asks, but that's about as far as I can go!

So -- buy me a beer.

You're fucking with me, aren't you?

No, don't answer that. Fine, I'll buy you a beer.

[ Score. ]

And buy yourself one, it ain't no fun drinking alone.

Well, that's to be expected. You won't mind if I forego the beer for something a little stronger, will you? It never sat well with me.

In that case fuck beer, buy me some tequila.

Fine, fine. If you want to drink that horse piss you can be my guest!

Horse -- [ So indignant. ] Oh yeah, what would you recommend then, princess?

Personally, I don't think you can go wrong with a bottle of whiskey, but that's just me.

Yeah... maybe if you're old.

I'm not fucking old!

Yeah, sure. How old are you, old man?

I'm 41! [ A slight pause ] Although I suppose technically, I'm 43 here.

Oh. [ Beat. ] Shit, I'm older than you.

[ Just laughing ] You old fucking fart!

I'm only forty-five, asshole! [ Pauses. ] Fuck, I'm forty-seven!

Shit, you're older than I thought you were! It's about time to settle down and retire if you're closing in on fifty!

I'm not almost fifty, you goddamn son of a bitch take that back! Okay, you owe me two bottles of tequila now.

What!? One is plenty!

Voice

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