[video]

[girlverine]

[The video clicks on to show the brown door of a kitchen cabinet, closed. It's wobbling faintly as it moves, and there is the distinct sound of chattering voices and a spattering of high-pitched singing. The video finally moves to reveal a counter, where half a dozen knives, forks and plates, each with a little face, tiny stick arms and tiny stick legs, appear to be doing a musical number about keeping dishes cleaning. There's some decently choreographed dancing going on too, with twirls and such, until one of the knives slips and falls in the sink and all the cutlery bursts out laughing.]

[The camera turns again to reveal another section of the counter, where a ketchup bottle, also with arms and legs and a little face, is laying propped up in the lap of a mustard bottle. It has a hole in it's label stomach and ketchup is oozing out slowly onto the counter.]

Mus...Mustard! Tell Relish...tell relish...I always loved her bes.........

I will, Ketchup! I WILL!

[The mustard bottle holds the dead ketchup bottle to its chest for several seconds, sobbing little mustard tears, before the ketchup bottle suddenly sits up a tad, looking around expectantly.]

See? How was that? I told you I could be dramatic!

Yeah Yeah. I'll be in my drawer!

[The mustard bottle unceremoniously drops the ketchup bottle onto the counter and stalks off, ignoring the laughter of the other condiment.]

[The camera pans around, revealing several more very strange scenes of animated kitchen objects...a blender and a food processor having an argument about speed settings, a bottle of milk taunting a bowl of cereal...and finally, it turns away from the kitchen entirely to reveal Laura, standing in her living room, looking...pretty much completely bewildered. She has the claws on her left hand out, and one of them is coated in ketchup. Green eyes are a tad wild as they flick back towards her kitchen again, before focusing on the screen.]

Someone explain this.

Comments

[borntobewildcat]

That's... uh... Assuming that somebody can?

[girlverine]

[Laura frowns.]

Someone must. [A little pause.] My dishes are singing. All of them.

[borntobewildcat]

It's like you're in a Disney movie... Or Condiment King's wet dream.

[Okay, that aside.]

They're just... doing whatever that is, right? They're not trying to hurt you, are they?

video.

[alldeduction]

[Have a very intense looking twelve year old Sherlock Holmes.]

Magic. [Said very matter-of-factly.]

Probably an import power! I think. Do they respond to you, or just to each other?

video.

[girlverine]

...They talk to me. They don't do what I tell them to.

[Laura is not a fan of magic. She's tempted to try and kill the ketchup again.]

video.

[alldeduction]

Well maybe they don't like being told what to do. [He sounds totally rational while he says this.]

permavoice.

[likethetragedy]

Your guess is as good as mine.

[girlverine]

[Laura just looks frustrated at the answers she is getting.]

No one does. But they will not stop.

[likethetragedy]

You're not going to keep stabbing them, are you?

voice;

[xenabutagrizzly]

Your kitchen hates you?

[girlverine]

[Laura just frowns.]

Not according to the songs they are singing.

[xenabutagrizzly]

I have no idea, then.

But it's pretty bizarre.

[wind_dancer]

Your kitchen has turned itself a Disney film, Laura.

[Sofia tries not to laugh but it is really hard.]

[girlverine]

Yes.

I need to know how to change it back.

[wind_dancer]

Well Disney films usually resolve themselves with a song.

[Sorry Laura, she is busy watching your kitchen.]

action

[hellionated]

[ Thank God someone else thinks this is funny. He shoots a grin at her from across the room. ]

Re: action

[wind_dancer]

[Julian you aren't helping her. Sofia is nearly shaking with suppressed laughter as she hums a few lines of 'Be My Guest']

action??

[sweetvalleygirl]

[And someone has just walked in the door, dropping her overnight bag by the door. She wanders into the kitchen and stares for a moment before letting out a blood curdling shriek.]

i suppose we can 'Action!'

[girlverine]

[Laura winces at the shriek and moves to draw Jessica away from the kitchen.]

They are not dangerous.

Voice;

[themisfit]

It is April the first.

I assume these happenings are somebody's idea of a joke.

[girlverine]

This is not funny.

video

[hellionated]

[ Okay but this is all kind of funny.

He looks like he's trying not to laugh. Mostly cause of her claws and stuff. ]

Laura, are you fighting with ketchup?

[girlverine]

[Laura doesn't quite glare, but it's close.]

It surprised me.

voice;

[excruciate]

Perhaps they think you ready for a Broadway musical?

[girlverine]

They should not.