009 [ Voice ]

[hellionated]

[ So Julian's been gone somewhere close to a week. He finds that out from a newspaper stand. For him it's been a hell of a lot longer than a week, and his head is spinning now. Memories he hadn't known were there are rising to the surface, fitting back into place. Friends, enemies, people from other worlds. Events he'd thought he'd never forget. Skrulls, Vulcanus.

God, this is weird.

And last time he'd been here, he hadn't looked like this.

He's walking through the City, metal hands concealed in his pockets. Every part of this is a mess. His powers are holding the phone to his ear, and there's no video.

He sounds like he's bored. ]

This place has good timing. I was almost in math class.

So I'm back. You can all stop missing me now. Since nothing's in pieces I'm gonna guess no one tried to destroy the place this week. Did I miss anything worth telling?

Comments

[professorlionface]

I plead guilty. At that point the court isn't really going to devote much effort into proving me wrong, that onus is on the defense.

[hellionated]

[ He does not understand you, Hank. ]

Months ago I didn't get it. Now I still don't. You shouldn't be in there when there's worse out here, it's wrong.

[professorlionface]

Well, it made sense to me at the time.

Also that argument remains flawed, we don't let lesser crimes go simply because we still have yet to stop the major ones. We do, however, give them very different punishments.

[hellionated]

Most criminals know what they're doing when they do it. You weren't even you.

[ he scowled, not wanting to argue about this anymore. he was never gonna agree. ]

There won't be any justice 'til you're out. I never did like substitute teachers.

[professorlionface]

Oh, you're starting to sound like Carol now. You'll be glad to know she's got people working on it, and I have no intention of resisting.

[He pauses, trying to decide if the debate's honestly worth keeping up.]

Do manslaughter convicts know what they're doing? "Most" still allows for exceptions.

[hellionated]

[ It's almost a shame he's avoiding video. The idea that he sounds remotely like Ms Marvel makes his face screw up, and the sourness that leaves in his mouth is probably evident in his voice. ]

This isn't about that. [ Also, killing is an awkward subject for him. As is taking responsibility for it. ] Manslaughter convicts are still themselves, you weren't. You know that, you were switched. Whoever or whatever switched you should take the fall, not you.

[professorlionface]

You realize we're beating a dead subject at this point, yes? In two weeks I'll have been away for three months. I'm ready to go home, it's just a matter of convincing them to let me.

Your arguments wouldn't be any more convincing in a court.

[hellionated]

I'm not talking to a jury. You gave yourself up, Professor, I'm talking to you. I don't know why you were so ready to take the hit for something you couldn't control. That's not a dead subject. And you didn't answer me.

[ It seems more important than it did before. He had never liked Hank's decision, but now that sense of actually wanting to be punished for this kind of 'crime' resonates with him in a far more personal way. ]

[professorlionface]

[Other than being magically affected at the end of a particularly bad month? Which was, honestly, a huge amount part of that.]

The bloods was on my hands. I may not have put it there of my own free will, but that much needed to be answered for. I needed to atone for it.

[hellionated]

Because you feel guilty for something you never chose to do? How can you atone for that? Why do you even need to?

[professorlionface]

Guilt isn't always a logical emotion, but that makes it no less strong. If you don't find some way to exercise it, it will eat you alive.

[hellionated]

Yeah. If you let it.

[professorlionface]

Giving in to it isn't the only way to do that. It'll only fester if you bottle it up.

[hellionated]

[ That's pretty much the opposite of what he wants to hear. ]

You wouldn't say that about any other emotion. Why this one?

[professorlionface]

And how do you know I wouldn't? Maybe not to those more positive.

Of course, I have a bit more experience with guilt.

[hellionated]

So you should act on a feeling, no matter what it is? I don't hear that about anger.

And you're guilty about something that wasn't on you in the first place. You don't need to take responsibility for that, you're just doing it anyway.

[professorlionface]

It's far more nuanced than that, Julian. Not all emotions should be expressed in the same way. The proper setting for guilt is very different from that of anger, but neither should be bottled up and left to brood.

[hellionated]

[ This is making him irritable now, since Hank is talking about stuff he does all the damned time. ]

That still isn't the point. You're only guilty cause you want to be.

[professorlionface]

Wanted. The tense is very important.

[hellionated]

[ Pause. ]

So, what, doing time means the guilt is gone? [ Guess how much he buys that? Not even a little bit. ]

[professorlionface]

More that it helps you realize that the guilt does little service in the long run. Much as that was still true three months ago, I wouldn't have been ready to accept it.

[hellionated]

[ That sounds more like it.

He knew guilt never did any good.

Still, he says this grudgingly. ] Then it did good I guess. But I still don't like it.

[professorlionface]

You seem very curiously invested in my acknowledging that fact.

[hellionated]

I'm just making conversation, Professor. [ Who says this is personal? Not him. ]

[professorlionface]

There's a wide gulf between making conversation and a discussion as deep as this. There's nothing small about this talk.