text; 001 ☽

[nitidus]

[She has been here a while; aquainting herself with public posts and then posts stored in the archives. She is disconcerted, but not put out. It is a surreal thing, to be here. It is more bizzare still to discover this is not her first time. Her memory must be failing her. Or time shenanigans are afoot. She isn't one to put all her eggs into one basket, but the latter is far more likely. She is quite certain she would remember being in a city like this.

Rose often thinks there will come a day that shenanigans will become tiresome. Today is not that day! She is opting for text: it is terribly predictable. Rose is feeling very predictable today. Sometimes being predictable is just a logical step to take, after all. It wouldn't do to do something outlandish and not be recognized.

Rose's pranksters gambit is, today, sadly lagging behind in last place. Priorities and the such, must be taken care of first:]

A story comes to mind. I have no doubt you will all be familiar with it. A girl falls down a hole and oh, the place that she ends up! I wish I could say I had the opportunity to follow a white rabbit, but such an adventure has eluded me. It does feel like a rather long time since I last saw a city that was so normal, however. Congratulations on that. Superb job. I am particularly fond of the architecture and the rather profound sense of nostalgia I am feeling. I can almost here the the inane chortle of a woman who would, by normal standards, be too inebriated to function. Alas it is my imagination.

My name is Rose, if you will pardon my momentary loss of manners. I have a feeling perhaps that some of you may know me. Just a moment ago I had planned to take a nap. I was hoping to meet up with some friends, even! Perhaps I *am* napping and this is a dream which goes beyond the norm? I simply just do not know. Perhaps you can help me, if you are reading this. I can see no white eyed people as of yet, but I am looking for someone. Or rather, someone's.

One is rather loud and has an intriguing habit of spying. Another is a tasteful sort, even if her ability to hold a grudge is something to marvel at. The last two you will know by one's ability to mumble to himself every chance he gets and the other's ability to lick and sniff every available surface she thinks may holds secrets. Or taste delicious. They are an odd bunch. If you know them please return them to Rose Lalonde immediately in one piece. I am quite fond of them.

With that out of the way; where am I? Why am I here? Is there decent coffee? Tea, even! At this present moment I am not choosy. I am also missing a pen and a large notebook, though I have no doubt I will acquire them later.

Thank you for your time.

-RL.


(ooc; to opt out of garish coloured courier, go here!)

Comments

[nitidus]

Ah.
I believe the term is "spoilers".

[caprihorn]

SISTER, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM SPOILERS.
just dump this wicked shit in my hearducts.

[nitidus]

You were there and then you began the longest game of hide and seek I have ever witnessed.
I think Dave missed you. Karkat was especially tight lipped about your whereabouts. Congratulations Mr. Makara, you have won hide and seek.

[caprihorn]

MAYBE I SHOULD ALL MAKE THAT UP TO DAVE NOW THEN.
motherfucker seems like he could use more company.
HONK.

[nitidus]

For future reference, I like his head where it is. Just so we are clear.
He could do with some more company, however. Has he been a recluse here?

[caprihorn]

he's been real hard to get hold of sometimes.
BUT HE STILL KEEPS SOME THINGS OPEN.
like doors.
AND WINDOWS.
that are easy to see through.

[nitidus]

Ah, yes. A true romantic at heart, Mr. Makara.
Is he aware of your affections?

[caprihorn]

WALKED THROUGH HIS FUCKING WINDOW.
creeped behind him for awhile.
AND THREW A GIFT AT HIM.
he should all fucking know by now.

[nitidus]

He is a very particular sort, Mr. Makara. You see, I have knitted him countless scarves and he has yet to appreciate a single one. What kind of gift did you send him?

[caprihorn]

SENT HIM SOMETHING REAL FUNNY.
a puppet.
I ALL THINK IT LOOKED A LITTLE MORE THAN FAMILIAR TO HIMSELF.

1/2

[nitidus]

[Oh.

Oh no that's a thing. Well. ]

2/2

[nitidus]

He has a pathological fear of puppets, instilled into him through years of overexposure. I rather think you will have more luck if you use conventional methods.
Write him a poem, for example. Or serenade him from beneath his window. Romance is a tedious, delicate process, Mr. Makara. Dave responds much better to positive reinforcement. Tell him how suave he looks even if he doesn't.

[caprihorn]

hahaha.
HONK.
if he's getting his fear on just because of puppets this shit's working perfectly.
DON'T NEED NO HELP ON IT.
besides the noise you're making at me sounds more like.
SOMETHING MOTHERFUCKIN RED.

[nitidus]

Mr. Makara, I hate to be the bearer of bad news - but Dave does not hate you.

[caprihorn]

you're a motherfuckin liar.
HE DOES SO HATE MYSELF.
got to making all sorts of black moves at myself.
LIKE PUNCHING MYSELF IN THE FACE.
and saying how much he don't like me.

[nitidus]

I'm afraid not. What you experienced was "vague irritation" bordering on "temporary dislike". I wouldn't beat myself up over it. Dave is rather obtuse.

[caprihorn]

AIN'T THAT VAGUE WITH SOME OF WHAT HE'S SAID.
and how can a brother not hate somebody that killed another version of himself.
THEY CAN'T NOT GET THEIR RAGE ON AT THAT.

[nitidus]

On the contrary, he has witnessed himself die more times than he or I care to count.

However. I will make it plain: do not harm even a hair on his head, Mr. Makara.

[hashrap]

im not afraid of puppets thats fucking stupid
puppets are dope
#1 muppets fan right here
also stop talking to him

[nitidus]

Your paramour and I are conversing, Dave. It is rather rude to interrupt.

[hashrap]

ok how about you just keep your meddly meddler meddle fingers to yourself
if i need a snooty invasive consultant ill give you a call alright

[caprihorn]

then why'd you run the fuck away.
WHEN I GAVE YOURSELF THAT PRESENT?

[hashrap]

fuck off is why

[caprihorn]

dying a lot don't make you like it more.
AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S GOT HIS FEAR ON REAL STRONG.

private;

[nitidus]

It makes you numb, Mr. Makara. It makes you hardened. Whatever issues he has, I suggest you leave them alone. His lips will never touch yours willingly if you continue to taunt him. You must be gentle; tell him his butt looks fat. Tell him he is not unlike a young Winona Rider and you his Edward Scissorhands. I do not give a fuck if you want to swap spit with him, Mr. Makara, but tone it down.

While I am sure any gentle-troll would be envious of Dave and enthralled by your hate wooing - he is only human. He is not built for the psychological warfare you are so intent on bombarding him with. I will make it plain; I have no personal quarrel with you but you are toeing over a line with someone I care about. If anything, I do not want to see him pee his pants. I have no doubt you could make him do it. It will be humiliating for everyone involved.

By all means, continue to verge his hand in hate-marriage. If he says no, however. He means no.

Frankly, I thought you two would get on swimmingly. You are both as bad at rapping as one another. Or so I hear.