capeandcowl | voice;

Entry tags:

eridan ampora | prince of hope

voice;

So what are you gonna do when they outlaw all that superheroin' nonsense you all lowe so damn much?

[to his credit, he's trying to sound grave. (it isn't working.)]

We take this - and we're goin' to, since we got such big pushers for mustard-bellied diplomacy in charge around here - they ain't gonna be satisfied 'til they got us all on leashes. And at the first signs a dissent, they're gonna hang us by 'em. I sure hope you lot can handle the usage a our powers bein' a criminal offense, since that's the next thing to go. A Wulcanus gun in ewery Natiwe hand and a trackin' chip in ewery filthy imPort, right?

[a ~~theatrical~~ pause. contrary to his usual habit of getting worked up in his tirades, eridan's been very calm (albeit smug in his "my unreasonable paranoia was entirely justified" kind of way) but no less intense throughout.]

We start goin quietly into that good fuckin' nocturnal phase and we aint newer gonna stop.

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Me.

Y-

[pause.]

I c-

[pause.]

We -

[pause. this one much longer than the others. when he finally does start again...]

...You think this is a fuckin' joke?

[...he sounds bewildered, angry, hurt.]

You think you can just waltz the fuck on in after ewerythin' that happened and say somethin' like that, like you ewen giwe a shit? Like I don't know what you're plannin'?

[eridan never really did accept that eddie didn't cut him loose just to be cruel - sure, karkat had said it, but what did karkat know, anyway? karkat didn't understand the subtle machinations of politicians and highbloods, the low spectrum lies and backstabbing ploys that were inherent in the natures of men like him and edward nygma.

it was just too easy like this. there had to be a catch, it had to be some sort of ploy to trip him up and put him away again. nothing was ever this easy.]

Yes, I do, as if that wasn't already made monumentally obvious by merit of me speaking on it. [Men like Edward Nygma, they didn't worry too deeply about consequence. What they sought, what they believed in, were the desired results yielded. That was their focus.

He never even considered that Eridan's offense could jeopardize the success. His success. Why should he?]

See why you need a mentor? You think you've learned all the subtleties, all the tactics, but you haven't. And you can't learn from me by avoiding me, now can you?

You...

[he trails off, at a loss for words. it's such a cunning offense, eridan thinks, offering the one thing eddie could possibly give him that he could never get on his own - recognition. somebody who both understood his darker traits and wasn't afraid of them, appreciated them even; the promise of something concrete in his life when everything else seems to drift freely on the currents.

he wants it so bad he can taste it, and he knows eddie knows it too.

it's really a very clever ploy, he thinks. giving him what he wants, waiting for him to slip up, and then quietly shelving him again. it's so obvious a weakness that it only contributes to his hatefulness - to whatever was already there from seeing just how cavalier eddie is about the whole issue when eridan's sick to his stomach.]

Showe it up your ass, Nygma.

Really? [A beat, as his surprise registers.] How odd, if anything was evident during this exchange, it's that you direly miss particular elements in your life. And yet you're unwilling to grasp them again.

How odd indeed.

[A pause, and he presses, measuring Eridan's game.]

You realize, I'm sure, that in forfeiting this chance you also forfeit the right to hold any prior split against me? That you're committing to getting over it?

[That's how the math worked, in Eddie's mind: Eridan claims he was robbed of something by Edward, and so Eddie offers to replace it. Eridan denies the offer, and thus Eddie is released from any emotional obligation.

Any lingering guilt.

That was something Edward was heinous in dealing with: guilt. The one emotion that ignited his obsessive-compulsive nature. How fortunate, for a narcissist, to entertain the feeling so infrequently -- but oh, when he did, it conspired against him.

With crime, and lying, he riddled. That guilt had a specific compulsion assigned already.]

This isn't some sorta treaty we're negotiatin', you thick fuck, this is my life!

[his voice cracks out of pure indignation.]

When I said I was done bendin' ower backwards for thankless fuckin' relationships, I meant you too. I'm not gonna pretend you hawen't been treatin' me like fuckin' gutterblooded shit for the past two months just 'cos you're hawin' second thoughts now, and I'm not gonna come runnin' back all willy glubbin' nilly like such just so you can stab me in the fuckin' back when you get bored again.

[this last bit isn't true, not entirely, and he knows it isn't. but it sure feels good to say to eddie's face and mean it. or to just really really wish it were true.]

I don't need your bullshit mentorship and I don't need you.

Falsehood -- you shouldn't throw around incorrect adjectives like that. It makes you look incompetent for lack of understanding, and we all get rather tired of seeing you like that. And another falsehood. [He doesn't clarify that one, however.]

It isn't a matter second thoughts, Eridan, I stand by my terms of severing you. Terms I have already repeated tonight, in case you've forgotten, though I hope they don't bear repetition now. But yes, you do need me, apparently more direly than I previously thought. Example: instead of digging vainly into your anger and paranoia, if you actually (questionably platonically so) hated me, you could have easily used this opportunity to hurt me first. Think of it, I'm in a politically tenuous situation with the ImBargo Act, you could have learned what's going on right now and used it against me in the weeks to come. See? It's easy, it could have been so easy.

[He's not going to stop now, oh no.]

It's amazing how wrong you can be, really. It's amazing that you're obsessed with the idea of me "backstabbing" you when I have literally nothing to gain from it, as any logical person would be able to deduce. But you can't step outside your goddamn perspective for even half a second, not even half a second Eridan! And that's why you always fail. That's why people always leave you, not because they're out to get you, but rather because you don't get them. You can't, you don't want to.

Don't throw around words like thick, Eridan. One can handle only so much irony.

[WELP. he chokes on whatever he was going to say, pauses, starts again.]

We're done here. Fuck you and fuck your mentorship.

When you realize your mistake, know that I won't accept begging.

You're not used to rejection, are you?

[it's tense, obviously desperate for any sort of topic change - but it's still smugness.]

No, I'm really not. But I wouldn't view this so much as rejection as you screwing up again.

I had nothing invested save for some misplaced guilt, which you have now absolved me of. [True about the guilt, perhaps not so much the former fragment.]

Beliewe me, it's a rejection.

[the good idea would be to hang up, since it's all said and done. eridan doesn't get many of those. he wants the last word here, even if he's never going to get it.]

Then if you had nothin' inwested, I'm doin' you a fawor.

Now you don't ewen gotta pretend you care about me or my feelins.

It's really much more your mistake. Don't you think I tested this outcome? And the series of outcomes to follow? [YES HE IS BLUFFING, but Eridan is so emotional now, it's a fun gamble.] I wanted you to realize that you're the cause of all your own misery, so when you can trace the trauma to come back to this moment. Well. I'll be here to cash in my I told you so, don't you fret.

You'd only do the same.

You... you are fuckin' unbeliewable.

[he scoffs, a little disbelieving himself.]

I hawe seen some ego, but holy shit do you got a fuckin' ego, Nygma. You got the globes to look me in the fuckin' face and tell me I ain't gonna ewer be any sorta happy or content if I ain't kissin' your ass.

[an outraged little scoffing type noise again!!]

Fuckin' ridiculous!

I don't know why you find any of this remotely surprising, really.

Ugh!

[UGHHHHHHHHHHHH.]

Do you ewen care? Is any a this ewen registerin' emotionally for you, or is this just some other argument to win?

I care about every argument. [HE CARES TO WIN] Why is my emotional output of any value to you, anyway?

[there really is a long stunned pause here!!

AND THEN HE (FINALLY) HANGS UP.]

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