[video]

[smarterthandad]

[There is a blue-eyed child looking at you. She can't be more than three. She is, however, wearing a very grown-up expression of dissatisfaction. And some kind of superhero outfit with a big "6" on the chest.

Ordinarily, Val would be cagier about immediately going public in a strange place, but, well, she has A Problem. When she speaks, it's with fully adult syntax and no hint of a lisp or any other childish speech impediment.]

Hi. I'm Valeria Richards. Assuming no alternate timeline stuff--not a safe assumption, I know, but sometimes you gotta live dangerously--it looks like there are a few people out there who're friends of my parents. You've got a couple of hours to come get me before they [she turns the phone to show a pair of what are presumably social workers, looking simultaneously put-upon and patient] try to stick me in foster care and things get sketchy.

[Anyone who knows Val will know that's more for the prospective foster parents' protection than hers. No one wants her turning some unfortunate family's appliances into her robot escape army.]

...'Bye.

Comments

video;

[glowsferatu]

I could just as easily ask that very question of you. But you've been just thrown into an unfamiliar situation, where I have had far more time to establish what works for me. So, it would hardly be fair to submit you to such an interrogation, now wouldn't it?

video

[smarterthandad]

I'll just ask Mr. Stark.

[Because Gil appears to mean well, but is getting filed under "kind of useless" in Val's head.]

video;

[smarterthandad]

It works great for me, thanks.

[Mostly because everyone back home knows her parents.]

Video

[magicalworld]

[Continually aghast!]

Oh, that's right! If you're related to a bunch of superheroes, of course you're going to get kidnapped all the time. So you have to choose between your parents knowing where you are constantly, or being targeted by superhuman psychopaths?

[Calvin ponders this dilemma for a moment.]

Tough call.

Video

[heal_or_execute]

I see. Changes things somewhat.

[Deducing rapidly, then brightening with realization.]

Ah. From same or parallel world to the Xavier Institute, aren't you. Mutant classification the result of particular gene granting superhuman abilities?

Video

[smarterthandad]

[Well, the scariest superhuman psychopath is one of her godfathers, so that cuts down on the kidnappings except when he's the one doing it.]

My parents aren't bad. Plus they're out so often they don't cramp my style much. [Shrug. Child endangerment is a way of life.]

[motherfucked]

That… that sounds like a reason you need a babysitter.

Like, one you can't cheat-code.

Video

[smarterthandad]

They call it the Jean Grey school now, but yeah. [Mutant infighting, man.]

[smarterthandad]

[Don't cramp her style, lady.]

It's a sub-critical mass of plutonium. [To the tune of "oh my god."]

[motherfucked]

Uh huh.

[ Yep. Just. Nodding. ]

[smarterthandad]

What? I'm a qualified nuclear technician.

[By which she means she messes with the reactors in the Baxter Building all the time.]

[motherfucked]

You're a weird kid.

Video

[magicalworld]

Nrrgh, I'm jealous. My parents back home were really boring, and the people taking care of me here are superheroes and they're still boring. Although I suppose I haven't been kidnapped too many times, relatively speaking.

Video

[heal_or_execute]

Interesting. So, according to 'old sense' of term- [Finger quotes!] -could your development be attributed to a mutation?

video;

[glowsferatu]

Likewise. But as you go forward, you will have to hope it remains in such a beneficial state.

[xuffasch]

How do you know? You've barely been here.

[smarterthandad]

I've been to the Negative Zone.

[Duh, Robin. Duh.]

Video

[smarterthandad]

[He should be jealous. Her parents are the best.]

Usually you get kidnapped to use against your parents, so if they're not famous, it's not really gonna be a problem for you.

Video

[smarterthandad]

Not a singular one, and there are epigenetic and other environmental factors to consider.

[She'll just file everything like "conceived in the Negative Zone" and "brother's godlike powers" under "environmental factors," k?]

[xuffasch]

And what would that be?

[smarterthandad]

The negative matter universe. [That her father keeps a portal to in his lab a couple floors away from her bedroom good job Reed.]

[smarterthandad]

You know about my family, right?

[They wouldn't know "normal" if it crashed a spaceship into the Baxter Building.]

[xuffasch]

Tt. And you're so convinced nothing could be worse?

[smarterthandad]

No way. Hell's worse.

[She's looking at Damian like she thinks he's not very bright.]

[xuffasch]

And you've been there, too?

_{( Maybe that's where she's from. 8| )}