5th Insane Speech// Voice, Private to Bullseye

[liebe_krieg]

Herr Bullseye. I am given to understand that you are an assassin of some renown, ja?

Let us talk.

Comments

[deadontarget.livejournal.com]

Whatcha' got, Hitler?

Video

[liebe_krieg]

Video shows clips of footage from Deadpool's fight with Alucard, particularly the part where Deadpool goes Elmer Fudd on him to no effect. Video then switches to the Major standing with his hands behind his back.]

There is a creature that I wish destroyed, and yet all attempts at destruction, either in this world or my own, have thus far failed. The vampire Alucard can come back from almost any attack, he has few of the traditional weaknesses, and his power is so great that second chances are rare! Therefore, I have decided to apply the scientific method.

I wish for you to collect a sample of this creature, so that in analyzing it, the key to his destruction may be found. A severed limb, a chunk of his undead body for humans to peer at- for it is always by studying monsters that humans are able to destroy them.

Of course, should the opportunity arise to deal the death blow yourself, say, through immersing him in deep water, you are strongly encouraged to take it! Otherwise, you may use whatever means necessary to secure the sample.

I offer you six thousand dollars for this small task, Herr Bullseye, six thousand for not even a pound of flesh. Is this agreeable to you, assassin?

voice

[deadontarget.livejournal.com]

Ah, Christ! You hired that fruitcake? Talk about a jackass-and-a-half that never gets the job done. You need a real professional.

Alright, so you want me to knock a piece outta' him and hand it over to you?

One thing's missin': where's the part where I make him stop breathin'?

Voice

[liebe_krieg]

[laughter] What can I say? I liked Herr Deadpool's attitude and thought he could accomplish something, and he disappointed me. But once the examination of the sample you are to 'knock out of him' is complete, hopefully my days of disappointment shall be at an end. There is no such thing as a completely indestructible creature in any world, and Nosferatu Alucard is no exception!

So then, that is how it is. You will strike at Alucard, acquire part of his immortal body, and then make your escape. You will store the sample in a vessel of silver and deliver it to [coordinates]. And once his weakness has been found, once the means to his final end is in my grasp, I shall grant you the privilege of making the greatest vampire of them all stop- well, he hasn't been breathing for centuries, but you get the idea!