capeandcowl | fifth arrow ➶ [voice + text]

People use this thing for questions, right?

Alright, well, I got a doozy for you. A few weeks ago, I started getting email on my personal account. Not the one I use for the magazine, I get junk on there all the time sent to me just because it gets published every month. Nope, this was all on my actual email. [He pauses for emphasis] Now I probably don't check that as much as I oughta, but I'm still unconvinced as to why people can't just pick up the goddamn phone if they want at me so bad. Anyway, after... A week, I guess, I get a series of emails that read kind of like this:

-- Actually, you know what, I'm just gonna attach it.

[Ollie pauses and presses a few buttons. Magically, there appears a text file.]

Hi Oliviar~~!! Luved ur profile hahahahaha!!!! Let me tell u abot myslef! Im a single mother of two, divorced (THANK GOODNESS LOL! ;D) I'm 5'1 (tiny + curvaceous) with blonde hairs and green eyes. my friend all tell me I look like a mix between Meg Ryan and Ann Bancroft, so picture that if you will lmao ;)

Now I make it a personal policy not to judge, but I gotta say I'm confused. At first I figured my email got hacked, but that's what happens when it sends stuff, not receives it. After that, I did some hunting around on the google.

So, herein is my question. How do I find the asshole who signed me up for Alrighty Aphrodite and put him outta his misery?

((ooc: I'm still getting notifs at either really bizarre times or not at all. I'm going to try and refresh this post as much as possible while I'm around my computer, but if you feel I'm neglecting something, feel free to ping me on plurk. I'm sorry for the weirdness. :( ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Perhaps someone thought you could do with a little romance. [ the smug look dissolves after a moment, and she frowns. ] Not it, of course.

It was Roy, that punk. And I'm fine. Romance would probably distract me from the magazine and nobody needs that.

As if the two couldn't possibly be done at once? That sounds to me like an excuse.

Just whose side are you on, kiddo?

I have yet to decide my loyalties. I'm merely evaluating the logic of the arguments for or against as they are presented to me.

That's really fair of you. Too fair, actually. I'm your boss, you're supposed to suck up and take my side.

Does the fact that I have seniority mean nothing in this consideration of what I should be doing?

Nope. The title Editor-in-Chief means something though. If you want more credit for seniority, maybe you and Jessica oughta unionize.

I don't even know what that means.

It's-- They don't have labor unions in your world?

Most of the real labor was done in other parts of the Empire than the homeworld. Maybe you would encounter one among the warships, I suppose some degree of unity could improve their efficiency.

I don't imagine they could have been entirely isolated in the brooding caverns, either, but I wasn't old enough to report there when we made our exit.

Remind me to ask you what Brooding Caverns are sometime.

On Earth, or at least in the US, unions are a civilian thing, for the most part. I don't know that they're not permitted in a military setting, exactly, but you hear a lot less about them, that's for damn sure. In fact, it's kinda odd to me that your people would want soldiers essentially forming a special interest group unto themselves.

Well, it must have some connotation I'm missing, then. I'm just looking at what the word itself is constituted by and trying to guess from there.

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