longbowhunter: (.glga - woah nellie)
ᴏʟɪᴠᴇʀ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ ➹ ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴀʀʀᴏᴡ ([personal profile] longbowhunter) wrote in [community profile] capeandcowl2013-03-20 10:45 pm

fifth arrow ➶ [voice + text]

People use this thing for questions, right?

Alright, well, I got a doozy for you. A few weeks ago, I started getting email on my personal account. Not the one I use for the magazine, I get junk on there all the time sent to me just because it gets published every month. Nope, this was all on my actual email. [He pauses for emphasis] Now I probably don't check that as much as I oughta, but I'm still unconvinced as to why people can't just pick up the goddamn phone if they want at me so bad. Anyway, after... A week, I guess, I get a series of emails that read kind of like this:

-- Actually, you know what, I'm just gonna attach it.

[Ollie pauses and presses a few buttons. Magically, there appears a text file.]

Hi Oliviar~~!! Luved ur profile hahahahaha!!!! Let me tell u abot myslef! Im a single mother of two, divorced (THANK GOODNESS LOL! ;D) I'm 5'1 (tiny + curvaceous) with blonde hairs and green eyes. my friend all tell me I look like a mix between Meg Ryan and Ann Bancroft, so picture that if you will lmao ;)

Now I make it a personal policy not to judge, but I gotta say I'm confused. At first I figured my email got hacked, but that's what happens when it sends stuff, not receives it. After that, I did some hunting around on the google.

So, herein is my question. How do I find the asshole who signed me up for Alrighty Aphrodite and put him outta his misery?

((ooc: I'm still getting notifs at either really bizarre times or not at all. I'm going to try and refresh this post as much as possible while I'm around my computer, but if you feel I'm neglecting something, feel free to ping me on plurk. I'm sorry for the weirdness. :( ))
shotup: (come to decide)

voice;

[personal profile] shotup 2013-03-21 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Because he can't look Ollie in the eye right now and keep a straight face.]

Holy crap.

Language, Oliver.
shotup: (of being sick and tired)

[personal profile] shotup 2013-03-21 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Go wash your mouth out, Oliviar.
shotup: (you see it doesn't matter)

[personal profile] shotup 2013-03-21 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
I could... or I could do something even better.
shotup: (to set-a-set it straight)

text;

[personal profile] shotup 2013-03-21 03:23 am (UTC)(link)


enjoy.
shotup: (the life you could be living)

[personal profile] shotup 2013-03-21 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
That's Anne Bancroft and Meg Ryan.
shotup: (and not to your grave)

[personal profile] shotup 2013-03-21 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sure you can figure that out on your own, old man. Besides, we all know you could use a date.
bowarmed: (Default)

text;

[personal profile] bowarmed 2013-03-21 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that was painful to read.
hellionated: (facesmilesnerk)

voice

[personal profile] hellionated 2013-03-21 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ Even though you can't see his face, it's probably possible to detect the snickering in the background. ]

Are you complaining? A Meg Ryan lookalike, she sounds hot. Seems to me like you oughtta be thanking this guy.

If it's a guy.
enigmaestro: (Srsly noble posing here.)

text;

[personal profile] enigmaestro 2013-03-21 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
"Tell u abot myslef".

Don't think it's the erroneous Eros who needs a culling.
wallsofjericho: (107 Not lolcats I swear)

Text

[personal profile] wallsofjericho 2013-03-21 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
Have you figured out how to unsubscribe yet?
hexappeal: (:DDDDDDD!)

voice;

[personal profile] hexappeal 2013-03-21 01:02 pm (UTC)(link)
On the bright side, she has more than one hair and at least two eyes!

[Suspect #2.]
wallsofjericho: (102 Smile)

text;

[personal profile] wallsofjericho 2013-03-21 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
There's no shame in needing help finding a date, of course.
wallsofjericho: (2 I dunno Roy)

Re: text;

[personal profile] wallsofjericho 2013-03-21 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry. I shouldn't judge on reputation.

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