[Video]

[shotyoudeadbang]

[A man in a strange one-eyed mask glares into the camera, studying it to make sure it's working. He looks singed up and it's possible he's still smoldering.]

All right, what's this horseshit? Seriously.

[His voice is hoarse, and he coughs a bit.]

I show up here, wherever the hell this is, against my will, some robot voice starts narrating some sci-fi crap to me, saying they're gonna try to enlist me as a damn peacekeeper for some planet that isn't even mine.

[A minor grunt of pain.]

So, naturally, I shoot up the joint and try to get whoever's jerkin' my chain to show himself, and I get about a million volts up my ass for my trouble. What, I'm NOT supposed to try and shoot whoever the hell's kidnapped me in the face? Last time I got shuffled off to another fucking planet, it ended ugly for the pricks who did it to me.

[Another groan, as his head falls into his hand.]

So I crawl my fried ass outside, only to get rolled up on by some two-bit cops who scoop me up and drop me in a holding cell in some dingy precinct that hasn't seen a mop since the 70s. Who do I gotta talk to to get the hell out of this joint and get a pack of smokes? I ain't about to pay prison prices for those things.

[His head thunks back against the gray brick wall behind him.]

And don't tell me we're having another goddamn "crisis." Even if that's true, don't tell me that shit. I'm sick of hearing about it.

Comments

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Get the fuck OUT of here. Don't tell me everybody's given up on that glaringly obvious option already.

Voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

What? Going back to the good old life of crime?

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

...

All right, "when" the hell are you from, if you're still having this little pickle about trying to get on the straight and narrow?

Voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

I'm not, just asking. Didn't manage to get in a cell for making snow angels.

A few hours after my little fiasco. Right before landing on Skartaris.

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

...

Ah.

For future reference, you might wanna be more specific. We run in a group that consists pretty much entirely of fiascos, one right after the other.

Voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

Until I get the privacy filter of my communicator back, I'll settle for being as vague as possible. [ oh hey is this the time to switch subjects YES IT IS ]

Sorry that Jeanette isn't around. You'll have to find another grave to roll in.

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Hn.

Doubt she'll mind much.

Voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

She's not the type to pitch a fit, no.

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Your little Bat-pet broad here?

Voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

If you're asking about Huntress, then yeah, she's here.

Except it's not really her. Different universe, doesn't know me, whatever. Better off this way, anyway.

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Right about that. If it makes you feel any better, you actually rope me into helping you pull off a dog-and-pony-show triple-cross to get her to stop thinking you're worth a damn. This'll spare you the effort.

Voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

It does. Thanks.

I'm a little surprised that you went along with the effort, though. Not that I don't appreciate it.

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Me, too. Let's just say I know a thing or two about people wanting you around who need to know better.