[Video]

[shotyoudeadbang]

[A man in a strange one-eyed mask glares into the camera, studying it to make sure it's working. He looks singed up and it's possible he's still smoldering.]

All right, what's this horseshit? Seriously.

[His voice is hoarse, and he coughs a bit.]

I show up here, wherever the hell this is, against my will, some robot voice starts narrating some sci-fi crap to me, saying they're gonna try to enlist me as a damn peacekeeper for some planet that isn't even mine.

[A minor grunt of pain.]

So, naturally, I shoot up the joint and try to get whoever's jerkin' my chain to show himself, and I get about a million volts up my ass for my trouble. What, I'm NOT supposed to try and shoot whoever the hell's kidnapped me in the face? Last time I got shuffled off to another fucking planet, it ended ugly for the pricks who did it to me.

[Another groan, as his head falls into his hand.]

So I crawl my fried ass outside, only to get rolled up on by some two-bit cops who scoop me up and drop me in a holding cell in some dingy precinct that hasn't seen a mop since the 70s. Who do I gotta talk to to get the hell out of this joint and get a pack of smokes? I ain't about to pay prison prices for those things.

[His head thunks back against the gray brick wall behind him.]

And don't tell me we're having another goddamn "crisis." Even if that's true, don't tell me that shit. I'm sick of hearing about it.

Comments

voice

[slingshots]

Off to a real good start, looks like.

voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Well, aren't you cute.

[slingshots]

Not the word I'd've picked, but sure.

Nice city so far, right?

[shotyoudeadbang]

I saw one room, and one street and the back of a cop car while my suit stopped smoldering. And this particular shithole I'm in now. Didn't even do anything to get rounded up for, besides unconcealed weapons.

Where is this, anyway? Dallas?

[bigreveal.livejournal.com]

This is your life, Lawton.

[shotyoudeadbang]

Waller.

Should've known this was another one of your piece-a-crap plans to get me on your damn Squad again.

Told you what would happen if you tried this shit again. Take it you're ready for the dirt nap.

[bigreveal.livejournal.com]

Wow, wrong on every level. Yes, I need to - or would want to - shoot you to another dimension as an overly elaborate and resource intensive ruse to get you on the squad.

Give me some credit. I'm way more direct with you than that.

There is no Squad, Lawton. I don't even work the government here.

I'm stuck, same as you.

[shotyoudeadbang]

Pff.

Surprised it took 'em this long to finally throw you in the slammer, too. What, did Batman finally find some dirt on you?

voice

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

Hilarious, Lawton. Showing your incarcerated face on the network to leave as a first impression.

No such thing as pride, right?

voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Blake?

How 'bout you can the wisecracks and tell me what the hell's going on? Better yet, get me the hell out of this dump and THEN tell me what the hell's going on.

No, get me a pack of smokes, THEN get me the hell out of this dump and THEN tell me what the hell's going on. Where are the rest of the Six?

voice; 1/2

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

Not here. I'm the only one.

And. If I could, I'd be tearing you out of there the minute you made this post.

voice; 2/2

[nine-tries.livejournal.com]

But, ah.

I kind of can't.

Voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

What, Waller got you over a barrel somehow? Or did you promise your nutty Gotham hero chick you'd be a good boy? I thought you were done with that crap.

voice;

[bydefection.livejournal.com]

That must be a new record.

voice;

[shotyoudeadbang]

But the same old song.

voice;

[bydefection.livejournal.com]

And they allowed you to keep your comm while in holding?

voice;

[shotyoudeadbang]

It's not like they caught me DOING anything. Just saw me with guns and decided to get me off the street. I'm betting they can't hold me on anything, unless this is some dictator country.

They told me I couldn't encrypt anything, which I guess means they're listening to every word I say. Goddamn Big Brother.

[Video]

[superspeedbjs]

[Have a blonde with an expression of bored disinterest, dude. Also, she might be vaguely amused.]

Hhhh, got into trouble already? Nice start.

[Also, she'll just tuck her boob back in her shirt, since it was trying to make a break for freedom. Goddamn costume malfunction powers.]

[Video]

[shotyoudeadbang]

[Well, at least that's the first smirk he's had here.]

Nice rack.

[Video]

[superspeedbjs]

[You get a snort and an eyeroll, bucko.]

So nice of you to notice.

voice

[kingmonarch.livejournal.com]

[The Monarch just laughs at this]

Oh man, niiiice.

This is the best introduction to the City I've ever effing heard.

voice

[shotyoudeadbang]

Must not be much competition.

[hacktivist]

'Naturally' you shoot up the joint.

Your world must be a fun place.

[shotyoudeadbang]

Not really.

But I've heard that routine before, and I wasn't about to buy into it again.

[hacktivist]

What happened last time?