capeandcowl | 032 → Voice

Well, it's funny how quickly time flies when you're having fun, isn't it? [ Oh there's so much sarcasm there. He's had such a great week. Actually, there's a pretty annoyed edge to his tone. ]

I want to thank eveyrone who's stayed calm over the past week and a half. The way the community's pulled together has been really inspiring. I know I can't speak on a national scale, or even a state-wide scale [ :( ] but I can assure you that as a city, we're going to make sure that we have procedures in place, and that we can do everything we can to ensure both the safety of both the natives, and you. If anyone has any suggestions, my brand new communicator's on, and my door's open, so I'd be happy to entertain any ideas.

That being said, please remember that the authorities are out there to help you, and if you suspect something shitty's going down, I'd encourage you to report it to the people you trust the most, as well as the police.

[ A small pause. He taps a pen on the table. ]

Stay safe out there, and let's pray we're overreacting.

[ ENCRYPTED TO JAMES BOND ]

The song from the fucking bodyguard, you shithead?

[ /End encryption ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Obviously not, that's our job -- the peons. [ Sneers. ] What would we even do with that stuff?

No, not the peons! The fucking superheroes, and hell, even the supervillains can get on taking these asswipes to town, if needed.

Anyway, I'm sure the cops could use an upgrade or two, but I'm more interested in keeping them from shooting at us, than what to do with them later.

Yeah, sure, like you don't have powers too, you're an Import just like the rest of us. But you're the mayor. Just admit it.

Might have to just kill them.

Yeah, you're goddamn right I'm the mayor, but I'm not suited for using my powers for much of anything! Unless you want to know how disgruntled your comm is, I'm going to get in the way.

What about their technology? Can't you find it or make it stop working or something?

Only if it's in use. I can't hunt it down if I don't have a starting point, either.

Now if someone were to bring me something of theirs, that's another story altogether.

[ Laughs. ]

You weren't kidding, you really are useless.

What, you thought I was joking? Powers doesn't always equal a badass, that's for sure.

Well, obviously. Doesn't mean they got to equal a lazyass, too.

Lazyass!? That's pretty unfair of you.

No it's not. How's it unfair? Huh?

I'm the opposite of lazy

Prove it.

Alright. How do you suggest I actually do that, aside from complete devotion to the job?

How should I know? Do more about these aliens than sit around and pray, for starters. You could get all the cash registers in bars to not charge us front-liners for our drinks. That's a little team spirit.

More spirit than team, I'd say. You're seriously pandering to me for free booze?

Aren't you a team player, Mr. Mayor? It'd be a good way to show your support of our worthy cause.

I can't appropriate city funds for liquor, and I'm not about to ask the local bars to go out of business giving free booze! I'll buy anyone a beer who asks, but that's about as far as I can go!

So -- buy me a beer.

You're fucking with me, aren't you?

No, don't answer that. Fine, I'll buy you a beer.

[ Score. ]

And buy yourself one, it ain't no fun drinking alone.

Well, that's to be expected. You won't mind if I forego the beer for something a little stronger, will you? It never sat well with me.

In that case fuck beer, buy me some tequila.

Fine, fine. If you want to drink that horse piss you can be my guest!

Horse -- [ So indignant. ] Oh yeah, what would you recommend then, princess?

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