twenty-five. video. backdated to late last night.

[goryteller]

[The feed is filled with the sound of heavy breathing. Then choked laughter. Then the video snaps on.]

I'm so fucking bored today, City. What should I do?

[Something has snapped quite palpably in the man who was playing with shadow puppets only days before. The feed is focused on his face, on his manic eyes and disheveled hair. He's rocking on a chair that isn't meant to rock.]

I know. I know what I'll do. I'll kill someone!

[He stops rocking. Drums his fingers on the bottom of the seat.]

Maybe I'll blow up a hospital, show that off. Maybe I'll kidnap a bunch of other fucking imports, tie them to chairs, torture them, and broadcast their sorry, knife-ridden bodies to the network. Maybe I'll shoot a child in cold blood, you little bastard. [He affects, quite accurately, Ladd's accent.] Torture with spells. Slash throats. Decapitate. Trick people into solving madlibs and then beat them to death with sticks. Kidnap people weaker than me and cut into their heads ahah-ha--

[His breaths dissolve into something like the beginning of tears hitch hitch hitch and then spits into laughter instead. He drags his hands over his face. His voice is a frail whisper:]

Oh my God. You monsters.

Comments

[goryteller]

[He's prepared to fire a retort, but the words hit him harder than he expected. He is silent. He breathes.]

[maskurbates]

Edward Nygma sent Andy Bernard to my house dressed as my arch enemy so that he could sing Rick Astley at me and sashay.

[enigmaestro]

[Oh.

My.

God.]

Is this a confession? You -- lying sociopath, are you inventing reasons to have killed Andrew Bernard?

[goryteller]

E-Edward?

[enigmaestro]

Roman Sionis, Katurian. Roman fucking Sionis. He would lie through his ever-bared teeth to get at you.

If you hold any importance as a human being, if you are capable of anything, if I was wrong about condemning you in even the slightest way, then show it to me now.

[goryteller]

I c--

I c-can't think. I can't think. S-Something's happening to me.

[enigmaestro]

Get over yourself Katurian, and think.

Tell me now who you believe. Me or Roman. Tell me what makes the most sense. Prove to me you are not a complete idiot.

[goryteller]

[Hushed:]

I believe you.

[maskurbates]

Hi, Eddie. Are you enjoying yourself? Is this how you imagined it would turn out?

[enigmaestro]

You are completely insane.

[maskurbates]

What kind of a man--a deputy mayor--sends an innocent man to the secret hideout of a wanted criminal?

I'm surprised you found me, by the way. Do you know how annoying it is to have to move again? I was just starting to get settled in.

[enigmaestro]

Your imagination is fascinating, Roman.

[maskurbates]

I'm beginning to regret not taping the interrogation, but I was in a rush.

Your denial is fascinating, Edward. Are you saying it wasn't you who sent him to my house?

[goryteller]

[He knew Roman was responsible, yes, but this is-- this is something he didn't expect, and so the silence continues, his mind parsing together the pieces.]

N-No, that's-- he wouldn't--

[maskurbates]

If Bernard comes back, you can ask him.

He gave up the information exceedingly easily, I might add. He's not built for interrogation.

[a beat, then cheerfully:]

Think of the pros here: at least he wasn't a Skrull.

[goryteller]

[His breathing picks up, again teetering between breaking into tears and breaking into laughter.

The laughter wins.]

You are really going to regret this.

[maskurbates]

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that, I could fund a scholarship, Katurian.

[goryteller]

[Then, exploding:]

I fucking promise! W-What did he even do to you?! You piece of shit.

[maskurbates]

Nothing. This isn't about him or you. It's about Edward Nygma. I thought I made myself clear on that point.

[comment not here]

[nottheanswers]

[Goddammit.]

[meowminx]

...What.

[maskurbates]

I am just as upset as you are, Selina.

[meowminx]

I somehow doubt that.

[maskurbates]

He complained of nipple chafing.

helps if I read

[meowminx]

So you killed him. Harley's boyfriend.