011 -- voice;

[conflagrations]

I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm in love with Jessica Drew. Seriously, she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Before she came along I'd never even dated a girl for more than like, a week tops but Jess is different. I actually like being with her. Seriously, I'd marry her if we were older and not...you know, here. In this place.

[ there's an awkward pause because oh man why did he say that. ]

So yeah. Just so everyone knows, that's the deal.

Comments

[invisibly]

Why haven't you mentioned her before? Why haven't I met her?

[conflagrations]

I dunno. We kind of got busy, what with the whole...thing.

[invisibly]

Well? Can I meet her?

[conflagrations]

Sure. I mean, if you want.

[ beat. ]

She hasn't even met my you. The you from my world yet so uh. You know, be cool.

[invisibly]

How long have you been dating?

[conflagrations]

I don't...I mean, the timelines are kind of weird. We were dating, then I went home and we weren't, then I came back and we were?

So kind of a while.

[invisibly]

And you're serious about her? I can't believe it.

[conflagrations]

I'd totally marry her. Seriously.

[invisibly]

But you're both so young.

... She's young, too, right?

[conflagrations]

She's a year younger than me.

[invisibly]

Only sixteen?

Are you guys... um... well...

[conflagrations]

[ OH GOD ]

Sue you can't ask me that on the Network.

[invisibly]

If you're mature enough to proclaim your love for her, you're mature enough to talk about safe sex, Johnny.

[candidly]

Since you're already embarrassing him, think you can convince him to put a sticky note on the front door if he decides to romance Jess in the apartment?

[invisibly]

If anyone can convince him, it's me.

I really should meet this girl, shouldn't I.

[candidly]

You are awesome, Sue.

I think you'd like her. She's all science-y.

[invisibly]

Don't say that too loudly, you'll blow my cover.

I'm surprised he's taken so long to introduce us. Clearly Johnny needs to get his act together and get all the ladies in his life together.

[candidly]

So am I. I thought this would happen earlier too. The day he met her back home he totally came in through the door yelling "I'm in love!!"

But, hey. If the ladies in his life need to get together, I think I can kick him out of the apartment and arrange some girl-time.

[conflagrations]

I'd put a sock on the door or something.

[candidly]

No sex on the couch, either. Other people have to sit there.

[ is she trying to embarrass him? yes. yes, she is. ]

[conflagrations]

Jess is totally not the type for that.

[conflagrations]

I don't care about the sex talk, but she will!

[ lol come on how many tabloids talk about his sex life. ]

[invisibly]

Does she have anyone to talk to about it? A sister, or a teacher maybe?

[conflagrations]

Maybe?

I don't know, we don't talk about it!

[invisibly]

But that's how accidents happen, Johnny. They happen when you don't talk about these things.

I just want you to be safe.