001 ♠ TEXT

[beatstheclock]

okay fess up
who's the piece of shit with the big ideas kidnapping me right out of the jaws of death and making me into one of you assholes with the flimsy shell and the hair
giving me a phone and shit
is this some kind of prank
might even be worse than dying was gonna be
how is a man supposed to work like this

turn me back right now or i will put so many blades into you you'll look like a walking pincushion
what are you scared?
you should be
normally i'd cut you a deal but you went and lost yourself living privileges

shouldn't be too hard to get the drop on you either
see looks to me like the whole city's just full of a buncha soft idiots waltzing around asking stupid questions
what's the time he says, aaaaargh why did you stab me he says
liked the second question better
people round here got a lot of nerve
i can fix that
best solution is kill everybody who looks at you funny
you got a problem with that then step right up

Comments

[enigmaestro]

And yet you're willing to force earthly consumptions upon him. We don't even know if he would abhor the idea of pizza, perhaps he would deem it the Frankenstein's monster of food.

[futureleader]

That's all I fucking have!!

[enigmaestro]

I'm giving Eridan money, and he isn't even properly feeding you?

[futureleader]

Eridan isn't my zookeeper, Eidde.

[enigmaestro]

Do I have to make an anagram of your name? Will that satisfy you?

[futureleader]

You can just call me Eddie.

[enigmaestro]

Your name is not Eddie, your name is Quentin Quire.

[futureleader]

Falsehood.

BUTTS IN??

[beatstheclock]

alright who am i killing here
might just have to be both of you

aww yeah

[futureleader]

Kill the other me, he's the one you want to stab.

[beatstheclock]

i want to stab both of you don't get me wrong
right now i'm just deciding priority

[futureleader]

Stab me last and I'll get you anything you could possibly want.

[beatstheclock]

what if what i want is to stab you first

[futureleader]

Come at me bro.

[beatstheclock]

either you're not too bright or you have a lot of balls

[futureleader]

Or I'm confident you'll never find me.

[beatstheclock]

doesn't have to be right now
just as long as you know it'll happen

[futureleader]

Heh, you don't frighten me.

[enigmaestro]

I can see why you're so popular.

[futureleader]

Heh.

[Hangs up.]