1818 - voice - A typhoon blows back into town

[plantpacifist]

This place AGAIN? I swear I hadn't been back home for more than ten minutes! Oh, Rem, why are the gods of misfortune and poverty always just a step behind me?!! [Whine, whine, whine.] Always I just try to do the right thing but every time it turns into a disaster! And then I get spirited away by some kind of demon computer to this bizarro Earth where total ecological collapse is a matter of decades and not centuries! I musta been real evil in a past life to deserve this!!

So ANYWAY. [Suddenly serious.] Ten minutes ago it was fall, now I look around and it's springtime. I know the Porter doesn't handle time in a sane, logical way. [Sigh.] How long have I been gone this time?

Comments

[plantpacifist]

Is it? I hadn't noticed!

... Sorry, it's just that I must have been gone at least six months and I haven't even had the satisfaction of being home long enough for the theme song to finish playing.

[He quits his high-pitched whining and adopts what he thinks is a suave, charming tone.] I don't think we've met, miss?

[slapping]

I wouldn't expect you too, having just arrived. It's just something I've noticed in the last few days of checking the comms.

We haven't, as far as I know. I'm Keiko.

[plantpacifist]

My name is Vash. You're new, then?

[slapping]

Not exactly. I've been here before as well.

[plantpacifist]

How long, if you don't mind my asking?

[slapping]

Since I was here last? Months. It was autumn the last time I was around too.

[plantpacifist]

Apparently I've been gone two and a half years.

[slapping]

That's a long time.

[plantpacifist]

You're telling me. The last time I took a two year break the universe at least had the decency to let it actually BE two years, too.

[slapping]

I'm sure you learned this the last time you were here, but time doesn't exactly make sense between our worlds and this one.