[text]

[onmyneck]

It's disappointing that the future has yet to give up on some of the barbaric, uncivilized customs of the past. The high school prom, for instance.

And with prom season coming up on this summer's social calendar, I'm spoiled for choice on which of my many outfits I should wear. I do have my signature style of staying at home and watching a marathon of Ice Road Truckers, but I wouldn't want to show anyone up. Adolescence is a tricky time.

In case some of the older members of this network feel left out, feel free to tell us about your experiences at prom. The most awkward story wins a t-shirt.

Comments

[glowsferatu]

The Only Way We Could Be Considered A Couple Is In The Numerical Sense

[onmyneck]

I think that's for the best.

[glowsferatu]

Good
Then It Is Agreed That Any Other Configuration Would Be Ruinous

[onmyneck]

Yes. For several reasons.

[glowsferatu]

Too Many To List Really
Not Worth The Bother

[onmyneck]

What a beautiful message. I'll have that cross stitched into my prom hat.

[glowsferatu]

Not Worth The Bother In Large Bright Letters
What Better Warning Could Be Offered To The Other Attendants

[onmyneck]

This will be the best prom ever.

[glowsferatu]

Imagine My Delight At The Fact That I Decided To Ensure Your Attendance
My Heart Simply Cannot Contain This Level Of Delight

[onmyneck]

Truly, the Prom Queen has arrived.

[glowsferatu]

Requesting That Someone Kill Me In Response Wouldnt Be So Unreasonable If I Werent Already Dewad

[onmyneck]

That's self-oppression talking.

[glowsferatu]

What Does That Even Mean

[onmyneck]

The living have imposed their bias upon you, and you've internalized it.

[glowsferatu]

Im Sorry Is Requesting That Someone Kill Me Perfectly Reasonable Then
That Sounds Stupid Why Would You Think It Is Even A Thing

[onmyneck]

I'm an expert in vivism.

[glowsferatu]

Is It Because Youve Spent So Long Alive
That Certainly Gives You A Varied And Unique Experience

[onmyneck]

You unveiled my secret. I'm an immortal.

[glowsferatu]

Then You Wouldnt Know Anything About Dying To Begin With

[onmyneck]

I have dead friends.

[glowsferatu]

Who Doesnt These Days
But Being That Dead Friend To Someone Else Is Another Matter Entirely

[onmyneck]

It's a lifestyle choice.

[glowsferatu]

Youre Just Talking Random Nonsense At This Point Arent You

[onmyneck]

Only if I can microwave it.

[glowsferatu]

That Sentence In No Way Relates To Any Part Of The Conversation We Have Been Conducting To This Point