voice;

[amoray]

[he doesn't start speaking right as the feed starts! there's a solid second or two of eridan trying to find his train of thought, the occasional heavy, expectant breath or two the only signs of his false starts.]

Well, Mexico was a shipload a fun. Don't know about anybody else's impromptu as fuck abscondin'.

Not my point of makin' this point though, so listen up, landlubbers.

[there is a decided lack of flair in eridan's voice, despite the (sharp, direct) pun/nautical reference or two. he's purposeful.]

They say they're cuttin' me loose soon, probably on account a my bein' such a charminly well-behawed prisoner and all. Due to personal circumstances, I'll be needin' to get a few affairs in order before my date a release.

I need a place to liwe, a tutor for the upcomin' schoolfeedin' year, and hopefully enough, some manner a profession. If you're willin' to hire a sewen solar sweep year old like myself, a course, don't want to go about misleadin' folk. Lyin' to 'em. Suchlike.

[a stale beat.]

No nosy hiwemates. Roommates, whatewer. I don't fuckin' like most a you and I probably won't giwe a shit about your problems, so keep your cartilage nubs outta mine. I got more than enough beetles in my coffers to keep me afloat for a while, so rent ain't gonna be an issue. Probably.

[a beat. he sounds like he means to say something dramatic or heartfelt to top off his posts like usual, and then:]

Preferably cat friendly. But I'm flexible.

Comments

[amoray]

sure my main fantastical fuckin brother wwhatevver youre all up at motherfuckin makin the wwicked noise about bro

[FEELING A FLEETING MOMENT OF SATISFACTION]

[caprihorn]

WHAT HAS SHIT BLOOD AND IS ABOUT TO BE THROWN INTO A JUGGALO PARTY THAT HE CAN'T GET AWAY AT FROM?
hint: he help vveering away from what real noise is.

[amoray]

trick question the answwer is karkat vvantas and the shitty inescapable juggalo party is evvery day a your moirallegiance

[caprihorn]

LEAST I GOT A MOIRAIL TO HAVE A PARTY WITH.
nothing you could ever have.
AND I STILL AIN'T A JUGGALO.

[amoray]

he wwas holdin me back anywway wwho cares about him
and arent you still doin that bullshit juggalo religion thing or did you stop that i dont keep up wwith shit thats beneath me unless i absolutely got to

[caprihorn]

from what?
TEXTING MY MOIRAIL WHILE DRUNKER THAN SHIT?
and why do you all bother asking if you don't care?

[amoray]

wwoww kar wway to run your fuckin mouth
not that i got anythin to be ashamed of a course but still some fuckin discretion wwould be nice
anywway i hear they got twwo mirthful as fuck figureheads of a mythical cult around here so if youre still into that fakey fake fake fiction id go seek em out
think a it as like a pilgrimage except instead a findin enlightenment youre just bein fuckin stupid

[caprihorn]

BRO, YOUR CULT AIN'T MY THING.
but maybe you are one of their motherfuckin messiahs if you get to be nothing but pan-emptied.

[amoray]

that made no fuckin sense not wwhatsoevver
then again swweeps a shovvin dowwn that slime had to of done SOME damage wwhich kinda explains a wwhole fuckin lot a things actually

[caprihorn]

I'LL ALL EXPLAIN IT FOR YOURSELF SINCE YOU'RE SLOWER THAN A BROTHER BLEEDING TO DEATH FROM HIS FUCKING TOE.
you said the religion all achieved being fucking stupid instead of enlightenment.
I'VE BEEN MOTHERFUCKIN TALKING AT YOU ABOUT HOW YOU DON'T GET SHIT.
and i've been telling you it's why you fail.
AND TO DO THIS SHIT LIKE YOU DO YOU HAVE TO BE STUPID AS FUCK.
so, a religion being about stupidity
AND NOT ABOUT THE SHIT I'M INTO
is perfect for yourself.
THEY'D PROBABLY THINK YOU'RE ONE OF THEIR MESSIAHS WITH HOW BIG A HOLE YOU GOT IN YOUR PAN.
do you get it now?
OR DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT EXPLAINED AT YOU MORE SLOW LIKE?

[amoray]

oh it wwas actually as fuckin pointless and stupid as i thought it wwas the first time i read it
good to knoww

[caprihorn]

still stupid as fuck.
GOOD TO MOTHERFUCKIN KNOW.