text; 001 ☽

[nitidus]

[She has been here a while; aquainting herself with public posts and then posts stored in the archives. She is disconcerted, but not put out. It is a surreal thing, to be here. It is more bizzare still to discover this is not her first time. Her memory must be failing her. Or time shenanigans are afoot. She isn't one to put all her eggs into one basket, but the latter is far more likely. She is quite certain she would remember being in a city like this.

Rose often thinks there will come a day that shenanigans will become tiresome. Today is not that day! She is opting for text: it is terribly predictable. Rose is feeling very predictable today. Sometimes being predictable is just a logical step to take, after all. It wouldn't do to do something outlandish and not be recognized.

Rose's pranksters gambit is, today, sadly lagging behind in last place. Priorities and the such, must be taken care of first:]

A story comes to mind. I have no doubt you will all be familiar with it. A girl falls down a hole and oh, the place that she ends up! I wish I could say I had the opportunity to follow a white rabbit, but such an adventure has eluded me. It does feel like a rather long time since I last saw a city that was so normal, however. Congratulations on that. Superb job. I am particularly fond of the architecture and the rather profound sense of nostalgia I am feeling. I can almost here the the inane chortle of a woman who would, by normal standards, be too inebriated to function. Alas it is my imagination.

My name is Rose, if you will pardon my momentary loss of manners. I have a feeling perhaps that some of you may know me. Just a moment ago I had planned to take a nap. I was hoping to meet up with some friends, even! Perhaps I *am* napping and this is a dream which goes beyond the norm? I simply just do not know. Perhaps you can help me, if you are reading this. I can see no white eyed people as of yet, but I am looking for someone. Or rather, someone's.

One is rather loud and has an intriguing habit of spying. Another is a tasteful sort, even if her ability to hold a grudge is something to marvel at. The last two you will know by one's ability to mumble to himself every chance he gets and the other's ability to lick and sniff every available surface she thinks may holds secrets. Or taste delicious. They are an odd bunch. If you know them please return them to Rose Lalonde immediately in one piece. I am quite fond of them.

With that out of the way; where am I? Why am I here? Is there decent coffee? Tea, even! At this present moment I am not choosy. I am also missing a pen and a large notebook, though I have no doubt I will acquire them later.

Thank you for your time.

-RL.


(ooc; to opt out of garish coloured courier, go here!)

Comments

[hashrap]

karkat and tz are here
prissy purity princess queen of all anti-fun already replied to you and no word on the mumbly teen but theres one undeniably cool brother who may or may not be in possession of a metric shitton of gay wizard blackmail material he stole from your room when you used your talons to claw your way back up the rabbit hole
welcome back

[nitidus]

I hope you kept them readable, Dave.
;).

Thank you. Unfortunately, I can't recall a single moment of being here before.

[hashrap]

sorry slime sis i lent them to john and got them back covered in spunk
its cool though you didnt miss much
we had lunch with james bond once

[nitidus]

Alas, the tales of Zazzerpan were too much for fair John. A shame.
Did we really? Did he recount exciting tales to us?

[hashrap]

hes just an innocent boy lalonde he cant take all this indiscriminate buttfucking it isnt good for his pure soul
he bought us coffee it was sweet

[nitidus]

The tales of Zazzerpan the Learned are educational, Dave. I do hope John feels educated.
Speaking of - where can I get some? I am suddenly filled with girlish glee at the prospect of drinking coffee without the dubious sheen of a rainbow film over it.

[hashrap]

youd have to ask him
me and his danglies havent spoken for a while i dont know how educated they feel
probably wouldve felt like a horror fic

are you still at the import building
dont move ill be there five minutes ago

[nitidus]

Is he here?

I am.
Kanaya is coming too, but I would be grateful if you were to keep on course. I am suddenly struck with the notion that we should compare notes of what we last remember from "home".

[hashrap]

ugh
ugh ugh ugh
lalonde are you taking this down this is the written symbol of my internal teen anguish
whys maryam coming im going to need a hell of a lot of coffee to keep me awake to suffer through her priss-drivel
its gonna be your treat this is what you did

[glowsferatu]

Wow And I Must Be So Excited Myself

[hashrap]

yeah ok we both know youre practically vibrating in excitement at the rare chance to insert yourself into my vicinity and get your meddly snoopy bullshit on or whatever you do
your mommying

[glowsferatu]

Well There You Have It Ive Been Discovered
I Awoke This Morning To Thoughts Of How Best To Complicate The Life Of Dave Strider
With Multiple Charts And Graphs To Illustrate My Agenda
As There Is Nothing Which Could Possibly Be Heavier Among My Priorities Than Whatever Manner I Can Involve Myself In His Life

[hashrap]

i have a strict no graphs or charts policy

[glowsferatu]

Well Sometimes Meddling Requires Transcending The Boundaries One Has Designated For Themselves
Mostly The Target Of Course

[hashrap]

yeah
if you treat me and rose for coffee ill stop hassling you
pretty sure ive got some great blackmail material i can use

[glowsferatu]

Youll Need Better Than A Hypothetical Method Of Persuasion
Ill Require Details On What You Believe Yourself To Have

[hashrap]

so youve gotten over not wanting her to know how bad you wanna tap that

[nitidus]

Ah yes. The dulcet sound of Dave Strider teenage angst rears its head again!
I will buy you a coffee, Dave. If you provide me with money. My god tier pajamas did not come with spare change. What a cop out.

[hashrap]

if that isnt the most backwards offer ever i dont know what to say
but you know what its on me you dont even have to pay me back
ill be the gentleman
jk you owe me
next time i expect to be swept off my feet and carried off into the starbucks sunset
nothing less or my fragile maiden heart will break

[nitidus]

I shall buy you a delicate pearl necklace and a nice little black number for such an occasion. We will paint the town red, Dave. Me, in my Armani suit and you hanging off my arm. Hollywood will weep tears of bitter loss that they could not make a movie as classy as my debt to you.

[hashrap]

shit lalonde dont stop there
pick me up in a searing pink hummer with a jacuzzi on the back so i can show off my goodies to the world and you can shoot them scathing and smug glances that speak in all the colors of emotion
looksies but no touchies
take me out to a fine ass restaurant and order the vital organ of an animal nobodys ever heard of
an axolotls tonsils or a narwhals ovaries
hell if you splurge on champagne i might even let you come to my doorstep
but keep those hands to yourself because i got a three date minimum
thats one date longer than a slut and one date shorter than a prude fyi us foxy armcandies we got a system

[nitidus]

On our second date, I will arrange for us to have the finest picnic known to man. Picnic goers and couples abound will shrivel up in envy as they gaze upon our perfectly ironic blanket and feast of sandwiches, cake and cold pizza. We will drink the finest champagne and clink glasses before we forgo classiness and share the bottle instead.
Afterwards I kiss your cheek and leave you at my doorstep and then wave to you from the window.

You have given this a lot of thought. Tell me Dave, do you often think of wining and dining me?

[hashrap]

now youre just getting gross and kidcesty
its all fun and games until someone gets caught in the sistrap
could say the same to you anyway
tell me lalonde how long have you been lusting after my dong
lay down well have a chat about it
how does that make you feel etc

[nitidus]

It all began in our first conversation, Dave. I was smitten from the first "sup". My heart pounded in my chest from every conversation hence forth. I have longed to touch your hand inappropriately and feel the tenderness of your cheeks against my palm. You caught me.

[hashrap]

yeah that happens to everyone dont worry